HARD HIT BY RECESSION

BEST CAMPAIGN SIGN!

DICK OR TREAT

ZOMBIE KIDS LIKE TURTLES

THE DAY THE PENIS ASKED FOR A RAISE

THIS IS SOOOOOO STUPID! LOVE IT!


I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:

* I do physical labor.
* I work at great depths.
* I plunge headfirst into everything I do.
* I do not get weekends or public holidays off.
* I work in a damp environment.
* I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation.
* I work in high temperatures.
* My work exposes me to contagious diseases.

Sincerely, P. Niss

The Response:

Dear P.Niss,

After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:

* You do not work 8 hours straight.
* You fall asleep after brief work periods.
* You do not always follow the orders of the management team.
*You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen visiting other locations.
* You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working.
* You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothing.
* You will retire well before you are 65.
* You are unable to work double shifts.
* You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have completed your assigned task.

And, if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious-looking bags.

Sincerely, V. Gina

BUSH PUMPKIN

COSTUME IDEAS, ANYONE?

HEAVENLY HUFFPO

FROM HUFFPO By Sam Stein

McCain Camp Busses In 4,000 School Kids To Fill In Crowd

The most cringe-worthy political moment of the day, so far, came when Sen. John McCain called out for his new buddy Joe the Plumber to stand up at a rally in Ohio, only to be greeted with confused silence. Joe the Plumber wasn't there.




I GUESS THE PLUMBER HAD SOME OTHER SHITTY MESS TO ATTEND TO--EVEN THOUGH HE ISN'T ACTUALLY A LICENSED PLUMBER!

BEYONCE'S TS CHOREOGRAPHER?

Apparently, a blogger has decided that Beyonce's new video, SINGLE LADIES, features a tranny dancer who may also be the video's choreographer. "She" looks pretty good to me, though there is a broader rib cage in motion. But they are dancing their asses off and if you can stand up next to Beyonce the fox and look halfway decent you're doing alright in the looks department. And I give Beyonce or her people credit for including "her"--it's a risky move in the homophobic hip-hop community. Maybe with Isis on America's Next Top Model, our attitudes are actually starting to become more accepting of transsexuals--as long as they look good, that is. Now I just wish Beyonce would put out some better music. SINGLE LADIES is one of her worst songs to date.

HEE HEE!

LABELLE AT THE APOLLO

The legendary group’s one and only public performance for 2008 and their first full concert since 1977!



WHO: Labelle (Sarah Dash, Nona Hendryx, Patti Labelle)

WHAT: Celebrating the release of their first studio album in over 30
years ‘Back to Now’ (Verve), Labelle will perform songs from their
incredible career including “Lady Marmalade” and the new single
“Superlover.”

WHEN: Friday, December 19th - 7:00pm doors; 8:00pm showtime

WHERE: The world famous Apollo Theater
253 West 125th Street
between Adam Clayton Powell, Jr. Blvd & Frederick Douglass Blvd.

TICKETS: $200 Gold Circle - VIP package; $125 Orchestra; $100 Lower
Mezzanine; $75 Upper Mezzanine

Tickets available at the Apollo Theater Box Office, 212 531 5305 and
through Ticketmaster, 212 307 7171, ticketmaster.com

Three decades after the release of their last album, the formidable
group Labelle (Sarah Dash, Nona Hendryx and Patti LaBelle) returns in
full form with ‘Back To Now’ (Verve). The anticipated new full-length
album produced by Gamble & Huff, Lenny Kravitz and Wyclef Jean “adds
a contemporary vibe without taking away from the funky Labelle that
longtime fans remember.” (Billboard, 10.18.08) ‘Back to Now’ features
original songs with the vocal firepower, lush harmonies, sassy
lyrics, and funky melodies conveying messages of empowerment and
passion.

THE COMEDY YA DON'T HAVE TO WRITE

THE DAILY SHOW ON SENILE MCCAIN:

AMY SEDARIS ON CHELSEA HANDLER

WEIMAR NY: THIS SATURDAY AND SUNDAY AT JOE'S PUB

Are you biting your nails off until the election results are in? Then please join me as I host the second of two nights of Weimar New York--Ana Matronic of the Scissor Sisters hosts the first--a politically-charged cabaret with an eclectic mix if some electrifying entertainers:



PENNY ARCADE
FLTILLA DEBARGE
ADAM DUGAS
GINA LEISHMAN
AMY G
CYNTHIA HOPKINS
DAVID ILKU
THE LIBERTY SISTERS
DIRTY MARTINI
TIGGER

There's even special recession-buster discount for Lady Bunny blog and bulletin readers!

Save $5 when you purchase your tickets in advance using code JPTIXA2.
JOESPUB

Joe's is located at 429 Lafayette Street NY NY--IT'S LATE SHOW AT 11:00 PM!

OBAMA FUNNY

ARETHA COVERS TOUCH MY BODY

Via Princess Brittany's blog, who calls her, Urethra, Queen of Soul Food! ReRe looks like she's having a blast and so does the audience!

ELECTRIC DAYS, ELECTRIC NIGHTS

PALIN EFFIGY W/ NOOSE IN WEHO!

FROM LADY ESTHER GYN

For Halloween this year I'm just wearing pants. When people ask what I'm dressed as, I'll say, "I'm premature ejaculation...I came in my pants".

CUTE CASINO AD

BLATANT VOTER FRAUD IN COLORADO, OHIO

THe Secretary of State is even being sued for purging 10's of thousands of voter rolls. This isn't a myth--The White House has intervened in the Ohio election (again) pressing the state to question 200,000 voters who do not jive with some new election standards. 200,000 votes (or non-votes) could easily swing swing-state like Ohio.

READ MORE: DEMOCRACYNOW


FOR WHAT YOU CAN DO TO COMBAT THIS, CHECK OUT STEALBACKYOURVOTE

WHAT THE IRAQ WAR BUDGET COULD HAVE BOUGHT

FROM HUFFPO:

He calculates $1 trillion could pave the entire U.S. interstate highway system with gold _ 23.5-karat gold leaf. It could buy every person on the planet an iPod. It could give every high school student in the United States a free college education. It could pay off every American's credit card. It could buy a Buick for every senior citizen still driving in the United States.

READ THE REST: HUFFPO

ADULT INTERIOR DESIGN

There's a whole site dedicated to analyzing the decor in pics used for online dating. With my dump, I' sure I wouldn't pass their test, but it's fun to have giggle at pics like this and the witty comments which follow at LuridDigs.com.

Here's one example:

DIRTY DIANA AS ME FOR HALLOWE'EN

I guess this was a test but I think she did a pretty good job! Diana is such a well-known fag-hag on the LA scene that she was actually just given an award!

INTERESTING NEW POLLS FROM ABC

New polls say that voters say that they are more uncomfortable with McCain's age than Obama's race. But you have to watch a really irritating ad first.

ABCNEWS

I WANT TO BE EVIL

Documenting the tragic slide from good girl to bad. Many dolls were harmed in the making of this video.

NEW ANTHONY AND THE JOHNSONS VIDEO

Featuring the lovely Lola, a NYC scenester, doing an interpretive dance. The songs called ANOTHER WORLD.

WATCH: PITCHFORKMEDIA

BABY, IT'S YOU

LOVE THIS SONG!

FALL SHENANIGANS

FAST FORWARD TO 2:30 INTO THE SONG.

HEE HEE!

Imagine a beautiful beach with white sand, listening to the gently rocking background noise from the waves. Beautiful bodies enjoying the warm sun, your third beer just emptied and dozing off in the sun lounger. Suddenly, a cloud appears, making you realize that your tranquil peace is about to change .


YOU LOOK UP




AND HOLEY MOLEY!

ANN COULTER SLAMS MCCAIN

WASSUP 2008

OBAMA SUPPORTER ATTACKED!

PRESIDENTIAL DANCE-OFF

OBAMA IS BEAUTIFUL WORLD

WHITE TRASH

This McCain campaign worker actually claimed that a tall, black man robbed her at an ATM and carved a B onto her face with a dull knife because she had a GOP bumper sticker on her car. At one point, she claimed that her assailant told her "You are going to be an Obama supporter!" After he stole $60 from her he's going to campaign to his victim with a knife--oh, I mean a dull knife. Totally implausible. Surely the big, black man would have raped her prized white pussy while he was at it, right? (Well, she's no beauty--inside or out,)

After inconsistencies popped up in her police statement, SHE is now charged with a false report. The B stands for bitch and she left of the S for Stupid Bitch. And for some reason I can't understand, her lie detector test results are not being released. Some crazy racist is actually cooking up this scheme to heighten racist tensions and possibly make Republicans attack innocent blacks or Obama supporters of any race? Whee, let's have race riots! Is this just one lone nut or are we going to see more ridiculous freak shows like this orchestrated by the GOP as a half-black president seems to be winning? Maybe some rednecks will be inspired by this and actually kill someone of color and claim Obama is next.

I mean, the GOP is so desperate that they've recently accused Michelle Obama of running up room service bills ordering caviar and lobster at the Waldorf Astoria--AND SHE NEVER EVEN STAYED THERE! Republicans can't run on the issues--their economic policy put us in the current recession and they insist on staying in Iraq, which 80% of the country rejects. So fear and division is all they have left.

And let's not forget that McCain's only perceived strength is on national defence. If his campaign workers are carving themselves up, is a hoax of a terrorist attack so out of the question? If another anthrax attack broke out, or something was bombed, which candidate would undecideds go for--the black peacenik with a muslim middle name or the war hero who wants to stay in Iraq for 100 years? Am I too cynical? Ask me after November 5th. If the election results aren't contested.

WHOOPS! This just in from HUFFPO:


John McCain's Pennsylvania communications director told reporters in the state an incendiary version of the hoax story about the attack on a McCain volunteer well before the facts of the case were known or established -- and even told reporters outright that the "B" carved into the victim's cheek stood for "Barack," according to multiple sources familiar with the discussions. If you follow the link, the local police are concerned that this might blow up into a "national incident."

So like a spoiled brat, if he can't win, he'll just toss up the Monopoly board to fuck everytthing up. The only problem is that our lives and the institutions which govern us are the figures on that Monopoly board.

There's a long list of respected Republicans lining up to endorse Obama, going against their party. Like Colin Powell and CC Goldwater. If any Republicans read this, I can understand why you are a Republican, but how on earth could you support McCain's pathetic, dirty campaign? I would really like to hear from you so that you could explain. McCain and Palin are a couple of dirty, lying bastards and I don't see who could possibly vote for them with a clear conscience. Unless you don't mind embracing failed economic and military policies and you're also a proud to be homophobic, misogynistic, racist. And don't give me any support the troops crap" either. Obama's too much of a gentleman to even mention it, but McCain, the great war hero, recently got a D grade from a leading veterans' association, based on how many times he voted against their rights. (Obama got a B.)"

MORE: HUFFPO

WHERE'S MY CHIPS?

AMAZING ATHEIST RANTS

GAY SCIENTISTS ISOLATE CHRISTIAN GENE

I DREAM OF DOGGIE

PETER RAUHOFER GOT HIS TEETH FIXED!

PERFORMANCE BY ROISIN MURPHY!

PALIN THE SUPER-SLUT!

ANOTHER IMPORTANT DECISION ON 11/4

I don't have a scientific bone in my body, but as far as I can understand, affordable internet seems important. It's probably even more important in states outside of New York, where less people are aware of this situation.So if you live in NY, click on the link for Nadler. If not, visit one of the links at the bottom of this post. This email is a little dry, so I thought I'd post an eye-catching image to remind us why we love inexpensive internet to get your interest up!



FROM FREEPRESS.COM:

A huge decision is going to be made on Election Day that could change the lives of millions of Americans.

And it's not about Obama or McCain.

On Nov. 4, the Federal Communications Commission will vote on whether to open unused television airwaves to provide affordable Internet services nationwide.

Tell Washington: Open the Airwaves for Everyone

Opening up these vacant airwaves -- called white spaces -- might be our best opportunity to close the digital divide.

They can transmit an Internet signal over mountains and through concrete walls. But that hasn't stopped the National Association of Broadcasters from deploying their lobbyists to try to keep us from delivering a better Internet for everyone.

FCC engineers just completed an exhaustive study that shows white spaces can be used to connect millions to the Internet without harming TV signals. But the NAB doesn't like the results, and they're trying to get Congress to intervene.



Right now, NAB lobbyists are lining up outside the door of your representative in Congress, Jerrold Nadler . Rep. Nadler needs to hear your side of the story:

Tell Rep. Nadler: White Spaces Belong to the Public

It's time we ended the NAB's decades-long effort to control our airwaves. We must move quickly to make sure we don't lose this tremendous opportunity to connect all of America to affordable Internet services.

In rural parts of the country, more than 75% of TV airwaves sit vacant. Even urban areas, where the spectrum is crowded, stand to gain from opening white spaces. Making these airwaves available for Internet access has bipartisan support at the FCC and in Congress. It just makes sense.

On Nov. 4, the FCC needs to simply follow good science with good policy -- shedding outdated standards that have placed our airwaves under the lock and key of the broadcasting lobby.

Time is running out. Make your call today:

Rep. Jerrold Nadler (202) 225-5635 or (212) 367-7350

Unless we urge Congress and the FCC to push back against the NAB and open up white spaces, we could miss out on one of our last, best chances to build a better Internet for everyone.

Thank you for taking action,

Timothy Karr
Campaign Director
Free Press
FREEPRESS
SAVETHEINTERNET

RON HOWARD'S CALL TO ACTION

ADORABLE AND TRUE! RON ROLLS BACK THE CLOCK CREATING CHARACTERS FROM THE ANDY GRIFFITH SHOW AND HAPPY DAYS. I WISH MICHAEL LEARNED WAS STILL ALIVE SO RON COULD STILL PLAY JOHN BOY WALTON TALKING TO HIS MOMMA. LOVED HER, BUT I GUESS THAT'S NOT REALLY THE ISSUE!

See more Ron Howard videos at Funny or Die

I FOUND 2 BOOBS BIGGER THAN MCCAIN/PALIN!

YUP! SIZE 120 Z's!

THIS IS TOO RICH

VIA JEZEBEL AND HUFFPO:



While the country expresses outrage over Sarah Palin's enormous wardrobe budget which flies in the face of her "hockey mom" image, she was spotted in Reno wearing this scarf, which encourages voting...FOR DEMOCRATS. She wasn't wearing it during her speech, so some trickster probably approached her with it in the after-speech frenzy of photos and autographs and she didn't notice what it was. I know how she feels. After I leave the stage after an appearance, one does experience a rush--to the exits, of my few remaining audience members. And no one wants to take my photograph or get my autograph--just refunds. And I'm often drunk as opposed to brainwashed like Sarah. So it's not inconceivable that someone could pin a NAMBLA button on me and snap a pic with me in it claiming that I abused underage boys. (Actually, I prefer that they abuse me.) The whole thing means nothing. Except to laugh some more at a clueless troll who is already the butt of the nations' jokes. Wait--I mean Sarah, not me!

STOP POSSIBLY ILLEGAL ROBOCALL SMEARS

Across the country, people are picking up the phone, usually in the evening, and hearing a recorded voice recite vile smears about Barack Obama. The voice could be Rudy Giuliani's, or Sarah Palin's, or someone anonymous, but the pattern is the same: overheated rhetoric spreading distortions and lies designed to whip up fear or anger at Barack Obama.

The calls are so bad, even some Republicans have come out against them. Republican Senator Gordon Smith's spokesman said, "Senator Smith does not condone these sort of calls."

Susan Collins "urges the McCain campaign to stop these calls immediately." Even Norm Coleman in Minnesota has distanced himself from the calls.

It's time we get all Senators and House members on record about these calls. Follow this link to listen to a couple of these calls, and then fax or call your elected officials and urge them to condemn the McCain-Palin robocalls:

TRUTHFIGHTSBACK

We've been working hard at TruthFightsBack.com to highlight these types of political tactics. We need to make these tactics unacceptable, make it politically painful to run these types of smear campaigns.

Our country deserves better than the slash-n-burn politics of the past. So fax or call your Senators and your Representative in the House and ask them to come out against these calls.

CANDLEABRA EFFERVESANCE (DAVID ALAN GRIER)

DON'T LET THIS BE YOU!

BETTE MIDLER STUMPS FOR OBAMA IN VEGAS GAY CLUB

PICS AND VIDEO:

TOWLEROAD

THE JOANS: CHRISTINA!

I FEEL VERY VANILLA

AFTER WATCHING THIS KINKFEST ON XTUBE:

XTUBE

DAVID SEDARIS ON UNDECIDED VOTERS

I look at these people and can’t quite believe that they exist.
Are they professional actors? I wonder. Or are they simply laymen who
want a lot of attention?

To put them in perspective, I think of being on an airplane. The
flight attendant comes down the aisle with her food cart and,
eventually, parks it beside my seat. “Can I interest you in the
chicken?” she asks. “Or would you prefer the platter of shit with
bits of broken glass in it?”

To be undecided in this election is to pause for a moment and
then ask how the chicken is cooked.

WHICH WITCH IS WHICH?

FREE HALLOWEE'EN CABARET FROM TABBOO! AND BRANDON OLSEON AT TELEPHONE BAR

YOUR MOM'S SO FAT...

anildash: @djchall you moms so fat ACORN registered her to vote *three* times
about 23 hours ago · Reply · View Tweet

anildash: Yo moms so fat Russia can see her from *their* house.
about 23 hours ago · Reply · View Tweet

anildash: Yo moms such a ho they set up robocalls for all her booty calls.
about 23 hours ago · Reply · View Tweet

MORE HERE: TWITTER

EXCITING NEW CANDIDATE ANNOUNCED!

SINGLE MAN DANCES TO BEYONCE'S "SINGLE LADIES"

PUT A RING ON IT? HE NEEDS TO PUT A WIG ON IT!

HORROR BRUNCH!!!

1ST OPENLY GAY RACEHORSE

NYC SUBWAY AD

HARLEM 1 STOP

FROM THE NEW BIMBO JONES ALBUM, WITH AMAZING VOX BY KATHERINE ELLIS:

GRACE JONES i'VIEW IN THE GUARDIAN

READ: GUARDIAN


AND ANOTHER IN DEPTH ARTICLE FROM THE SHROPSHIRE STAR

AN EXCERPT:

And do you think people want to make a cartoon, a caricature out of you because in a way you’re so fluid, you’re so non-specific, you’re so sort of boundary crossing that that’s actually quite scary and they need to fix you in a position that’s comic?

“Yeah I guess - yeah it makes the scary easier for them actually. It makes them put less value on it. So they can kind of laugh it off and say oh no this isn’t serious you know.”

What are they laughing off? What is it that’s quite threatening?

“Well they’re laughing off the scariness. You know sometimes when you are sort of scary to some people it’s their concept. Because I’m not scary - the people that really know me know that I’m not scary. I pretend very good scary. I can be very good scary.”

Why do you want to do that?

“I think it’s probably because of the way I was brought up actually. Because you know I was brought up in a very, very strict way. I was brought up in a scary way. And maybe that’s probably why my personality has this scariness. I’ve finally realised why I am the way I am and that scariness comes from the dark,, edgy part of my childhood.

“But I’ve embraced it and I understand it, and when I turn it around and I put it out there to the public or on the stage or whatever they’re just as scared as I was when I was little.”

Okay, so it’s kind of therapeutic then?

“It is.”

READ THE REST: SHROPSHIRE STAR

KEITH HARING DOC OPENING

"THE UNIVERSE OF KEITH HARING by director Christina Clausen is an intimate portrait of world-renowned artist Keith Haring whose mantra was that "Art is for everyone!" The film is a thorough and intimate exploration of the background and career of one of the most popular and significant artists of the 20th century. The film features interviews and archival footage of Fab 5 Freddy, Jeffrey Deitch, Kim Hastreiter, Grace Jones, Madonna, Yoko Ono, David LaChapelle, Kenny Scharf, Carlo McCormick, Andy Warhol, Ann Magnuson, Tony Shafrazi, and Junior Vasquez, among many others. Audio excerpts from original interviews with Keith Haring, were conducted by Haring's biographer John Gruen (Keith Haring: the Authorized Biography). The film's theme song is by the famed DJ and record producer, Junior Vasquez, with an original soundtrack by Angelo Talocci. The film was edited by Silvia Giulietti."

The film is opening here in New York City this Friday, October 24th, at the Cinema Village Theatre (22 East 12th Street) Please join me at the 7:15 show time where the director , Christina Claussen, will host and "q and a" after. By attending the 7:15 showing, you will gain access into the after party which will be held at the Submerer ( downstairs at The Mercer Hotel, 147 1/2 Mercer Street at Prince) from 9p-12a with music played by grammy award winner Hex Hector.

To purchase tickets, please go to CINEMAVILLAGE. Yuu must click on "showtimes and tickets". Then go to the "showtime" drop down menu and enter Friday October 24th, and you will see it there. Please choose the 7:15 show. If you have any problems, the number to the theatre is 212-924-3363. Please scroll down to view invitation.

GOLDEN GIRLS/ELECTION 2008

THIS IS A MESS!

NILE RODGERS ON "I'M COMING OUT"

It was inspired by transvestities! This is one of the greatest musicians on the planet in my book!



And on writing WE ARE FAMILY:

A VP WE CAN FUCK

This is so disgusting to me. Idiotic straight guys donning the goofy gear similar to what they wear to sports stadiums at a Palin rally. They want a VP they can fuck. And if she gets into office, especially is McCain croaks, she'll fuck over the whole country. Guys thinking with their cocks is nothing new and I'm just as critical of fags who defend CNN's "journalism" by saying that Anderson Cooper is hot--what does that have to do with the motherfucking news? If you want sex, go get your ass laid! Are you really gonna jerk off to a newscast or elect a VP because she's attractive? And these straight dickheads even try to justify their pick in this article by claiming that it would be good for women. This is really sad. To have the country in such a mess and think that eye candy is the answer. The picture below says it all. She's such a maverick that she ignores the laws of Alaska and was found guilty of abuse of power. Right on, dude! So let's get her into the White House. Awesome! Maybe she'll be such an maverick-y wild card that she'll haul off and shoot John McCain once they're in office. Aren't mavericks impossible to predict? Or maybe her witch doctor pastor will take the notion that Cindy McCain is a witch and drive her out of the White House like he did that African villager before he became Wasilla's leading religious light. So full of hate right now for anyone who lets a wink disguise a monster.

Among Rock-Ribbed Fans of Palin, Dudes Rule by Mark Leibovich



An excerpt:

And Ms. Palin tells ’em, peppering her rallies with references to guy-themed stuff — hunting, fishing, hockey. She introduced her husband, Todd, as Alaska’s First Dude.

“He is a guy who knows how to work with his hands,” she said to loud applause.

Her recent events drew scruffy high-schoolers in backward baseball caps, tank-topped bikers in bandanas and long-bearded veterans in berets. They crashed the rope line for photos and autographs. “Marry me, Sarah,” a man implored in Weirs Beach, N.H., while Ms. Palin held up a tow-headed toddler and patted his little chest. She ignored, or didn’t hear, the proposal, but signed the dude’s ratty baseball cap.

Yes, some men come to ogle the candidate, too. “She’s beautiful,” said a man wearing a John Deere T-shirt in Weirs Beach. “I came here to look at her,” he said, and his admiration for Ms. Palin’s appearance became more and more animated. Sheepish over his ogling, he declined to give his real name (“Just call me ‘John Deere’ ”).

WHOLE ARTICLE: NYTIMES

WHEW! WHAT A LOAD OFF MY MIND!

It may not rank as one of the great scientific mysteries of all time, but the riddle of worm grunting has been solved, apparently.

Worm Grunting, Fiddling, and Charming—Humans Unknowingly Mimic a Predator to Harvest Bait (PLoS One)

Worm grunting, also known as worm fiddling or charming, involves driving a wooden stake into the ground and rubbing the top of it with a leaf spring or other flat piece of steel to make a grunting or snoring noise. Done in the right place under the right conditions, the result will be hundreds earthworms appearing on the surface of the ground. Worm grunting is practiced in parts of the southeast to obtain fish bait.

MORE, COMPLETE WITH VIDEO: NYTIMES

SYBIL ROUGE: SUPERSTAR

One of London's most elegant scenesters is lovingly interviewed by Pippa Brooks for PonyStep.com. I believe I met Sybil in the mid-80's in London, and I've been under the spell of this statuesque beauty ever since! So I was thrilled to find this in-depth chit-chat.

SYBIL ROUGE: SUPERSTAR by Pippa Brooks

I remember vividly the first time I saw Sybil Rouge. I’d not long lived in London, it was about 1989 and I’d just met Link Leisure. His friend Matthew Glamorre was putting on a show at Heaven and he suggested me for a supporting role. Sybil, obviously, played God. How apt...



I arrived for rehearsals, and a skirt-shaped scaffolding was being erected on the stage, almost to the ceiling. There were crucifixes hanging on either side from wire so they could spin around. This would be the Easter Show at Heaven. The part of God would be played by Sybil. As my eyes swept around the room, Matthew barking orders, the most glittering clubkids who I’d seen out at Bang, Heaven and Freds milling around and Sybil flanked by admirers, topless with Rita Hayworth waves of perfect red hair, I felt that London was finally delivering all I’d hoped for. I’d just left art college and was consumed by a fascination with Warhol and his factory of superstars mixed in with the people I read about as I pored over i-D magazine through the 80’s… somehow all roads had been leading to this moment!

Pippa Brooks: "So, Sybil, I couldn’t say I met you on this occasion, I saw you, was a satellite to your main attraction, in fact I was tied to one of the spinning crucifixes with the instruction to can can as best I could and for god’s sake 'Smile!' You were God".

Sybil Rouge: “Which has been great for my resume ever since! People ask me, “Have you ever been on the stage?” I say, “Yes, I played God…..topless!....smeared in fake blood”

PB: And the scaffolding was covered with your ‘skirt’, which was covered in vaginas through which clubkids were born! How high up were you?

SR: “My head was virtually scraping the ceiling”.

PB: "Sybil, you beat me to London by a few years".

SR: “The first day I ever lived in London was the summer of ‘86 I worked at the Limelight and I met Matthew Glamorre. Seventeen year old Matthew Glamorre was working the coatcheck in true Boy George style. After a prickly first week and a half he realised I wasn’t the threat he’d imagined I was, and we became friends. He was ruling the roost somewhat even though he was only 17. Now this was the glory days of the Limelight, sadly its now an Australian themed bar called Walkabout". I was the waitress in the VIP room, even though I served very few drinks as the room was about 5m square with a bar in one corner so no-one actually needed a waitress, they were right next to the bar ….so I would just stand around and chat up celebrities! The regulars included “Boy George, Lemmy , Siouxsie Sioux and Chrissie Hynde were permanent fixtures….I used to have to break up fights between Siouxsie and American girlfriend of mine who was 6’2” and she and my friend always used to get a bit drunk and start sparring off and I’d have to step in between them, but apart from that it was really quite friendly due to the enormous amounts of drug inhalation going on!”

WHOLE ARTICLE AND MORE HEAVENLY PIX: PONYSTEP

DANCING WITH THE STARS

EARTH, WIND AND FIRE: "REASONS" LIVE

AND WHILE WE'RE O THE SUBJECT OF DISCO-ERA SOUL BALLADS, HERE'S HEATWAVE'S "ALWAYS AND FOREVER":

SHORTAGE OF COCKSUCKERS IN MICHIGAN

Police arrest Mich. man for car wash vacuum sex

THOMAS TOWNSHIP, Mich. — Police say a Michigan man has been arrested after "receiving sexual favors from a vacuum" at a car wash.

The Saginaw News reports the 29-year-old Swan Creek Township man was arrested Thursday in Saginaw County's Thomas Township, about 90 miles northwest of Detroit.

Police Sgt. Gary Breidinger says a resident called to report suspicious activity at the car wash about 6:45 a.m. An officer approached on foot and caught the man in the act.

The suspect, whose name wasn't immediately released, is being held in the Saginaw County Jail.

COMPUTER TIC TAC TOE

SEE IF YOU CAN BEAT THE COMPUTER!

TICTACTOE

OOKIE COOKIE

Barry Morse has written and directed a new video short called OOKIE COOKIE, which is an homage to Tom Rubnitz's 1980's shorts starring Sister Dimension, Billy Beyond Maria Ayala, RuPaul, David Dalrymple, Lahoma Van Zandt and myself. In this homage which easily does Tom's original vison justice, Jackie Beat appears as a young me! Click on October 17th once you get to the site and get ready for an outrageous treat!

GOTHTOBER

PALIN AS PRESIDENT

Make sure you click on all the windows, trash can, etc, but save the red phone for last.

PALINASPRESIDENT

MEET TWAT LAROUGE!

And I thought I had big hair!



Form more pix, visit her myspace page--you MUST see the masks of this South Florida queen!

SICK NEW VIDEO FOR DIESEL'S ANNIVERSARY

SOMETHING TELLS ME...

RACIST MCCAIN SUPPORTERS INTERVIEWED

He's half white, you idiots! How is he gonna hate white people? And you've been bitching about his christina pastor--how can he be a muslim?

RED STATES VS BLUE STATES

DEAR RED STATES,

We've decided we're leaving. We intend to form our own country, and we're taking the other Blue States with us. In case you aren't aware, that includes California, Hawaii, Oregon, Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois and all the Northeast. We believe this split will be beneficial to the nation, and especially to the people of the new country of New California.

To sum up briefly: You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave states. We get stem cell research and the best beaches. We get the Statue of Liberty. You get Dollywood. We get Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom. We get Harvard. You get Ole' Miss. We get 85 percent of America's venture capital and entrepreneurs. You get Alabama. We get two-thirds of the tax revenue, you get to make the red states pay their fair share.

Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower than the Christian Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families. You get a bunch of single moms. Please be aware that Nuevo California will be pro-choice and anti-war, and we're going to want all our citizens back from Iraq at once. If you need people to fight, ask your evangelicals. They have kids they're apparently willing to send to their deaths for no purpose, and they don't care if you don't show pictures of their children's caskets coming home. We do wish you success in Iraq , and hope that the WMDs turn up, but we're not willing to spend our resources in Bush's Quagmire.

With the Blue States in hand, we will have firm control of 80 percent of the country's fresh water, more than 90 percent of the pineapple and lettuce, 92 percent of the nation's fresh fruit, 95 percent of America's quality wines, 90 percent of all cheese, 90 percent of the high tech industry, most of the U.S. low-sulfur coal, all living redwoods, sequoias and condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools plus Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT. With the Red States, on the other hand, you will have to cope with 88 percent of all obese Americans (and their projected health care costs), 92 percent of all U.S. mosquitoes, nearly 100 percent of the tornadoes, 90 percent of the hurricanes, 99 percent of all Southern Baptists, virtually 100 percent of all
televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Bob Jones University, Clemson and the University of Georgia. We get Hollywood and Yosemite, thank you.

Additionally, 38 percent of those in the Red states believe Jonah was actually swallowed by a whale, 62 percent believe life is sacredunless we're discussing the war, the death penalty or gun laws, 44 percent say that evolution is only a theory, 53 percent that Saddam was involved in 9/11 and 61 percent of you crazy bastards believe you are people with higher morals then we lefties.

Finally, we're taking the good pot, too. You can have that dirt weed they grow in Mexico.

Peace out,
Blue States

NILE RODGERS: STATE YOUR MIND

MUSIC VIDEO FOR ONE THE CHIC'S PRODUCERS:

A MESSAGE FOR SARAH PALIN

FFROM THE YOUNG WOMEN OF AMERICA: YOUTUBE

WFMU'S PHOTOSHOP COMPETITION

Many fun entries, but this one's (wiht Larry Craig) is my fav.



VIEW MORE ENTRIES: WFMU.ORG

WHATEVER HAPPENED TO STEPHANIE CRAWFORD?

The former jazz-singin Whispers headliner is now in the San Francisco Bay and has a cd out.



MOIRE: ALLMUSICSERVICES

MADNESS FROM CHER: 1981

THE REAL DEBATE!

D.C.'S COMEDY GOLD!

I don't care who you are voting for, these are some hilarious jokes for both candidates!

MCCAIN:



OBAMA:

R.I.P. EDIE ADAMS

I'LL ADMIT I'D FORGOTTEN ABOUT EDIE UNTIL MISS POLLY GRIP SENT ME THIS FABU COMMERCIAL:

THIS DEBATE PIC IS NOT DOCTORED!

IT'S AN ACTUAL PHOTO TAKEN FROM THE LAST DEBATE WHEN MCCAIN REALIZED HE WAS GOING THE WRONG WAY--FROM HUFFPO.

And Obama was criticized for being professorial. That's better than off your meds. I just wish that when McCain had said "I'm not George Bush. If you wanted to run against George Bush you should have run four years ago," Obama had shot back "I wish I had. Cuz You lost then, too!" SNAP!

GET ON DOWN AND PARTAY!

LABELLE CD SIGNING AT SPLASH 10/21!

SARAH, NONA AND PATTI ARE BACK AND LOOKING TERRIFIC!



October 21st….Labelle’s “BACK TO NOW” CD hits stores….and where else would the Ladies want to do a CD Signing…but our very own SPLASH BAR!! Virgin Records will be on- site to sell the NEW CD “Back To Now”…and for those of you who have purchased a copy…the Ladies will be on hand to sign it for you…from 10pm – 11:30 ONLY….BE THERE EARLY… they have an early morning LIVE TV Show the following day and will have to leave promptly at 11:30pm!!

A MESSAGE THE GRAVE

DO YOU SUPPORT SARAH PALIN?

Not only does Sarah Palin believe that abortion should be practiced for rape cases, she even believes that even victims of incest should be made to give birth to their father's, uncle's or brothers child. If you know a Palin supporter, please share this with them.

"Talk about baby daddies! She wants you to have daddy's baby." --Randi Rhodes

(I'm quoting from memory so those not may her exact words.) And of course rape is never funny, unless you are raped by a clown, that is.

JANELLE MONAE!

CHECK HER OUT NOW! HOT SONG, WILD VIDEO AND LYRICS AND SHE'S GORGEOUS!

JANELLEMONAE

TOM TOM CLUB: WORDY RAPPINGHOOD

FUCKING GENIUS! AND THE OVERSIZED BOWS!

A MESSAGE FOR ALL WOMEN

No, I don't think I am one. But this is fascinating. And I know that a lot of women don't vote. Though they aren't a minority, they do get treated like one.

(AUTHOR UNKNOWN)



THIS IS MOVING. ?HOW QUICKLY WE FORGET.....IF ....WE EVER KNEW......?

WHY WOMEN SHOULD VOTE

This is the story of our Grandmothers and Great-grandmothers; they lived only 90 years ago.

Remember, it was not until 1920 that women were granted the right to go to the polls and vote.



The women were innocent and defenseless, but they were jailed nonetheless for picketing the White House, carrying signs asking for the vote.

And by the end of the night, they were barely alive. Forty prison guards wielding clubs and their warden's blessing went on a rampage against the 33 women wrongly convicted of 'obstructing sidewalk traffic.'



They beat Lucy Burns, chained her hands to the cell bars above her head and left her hanging for the night, bleeding and gasping for air.

They hurled Dora Lewis into a dark cell, smashed her head against an iron bed and knocked her out cold. Her cellmate,
Alice Cosu, thought Lewis was dead and suffered a heart attack. Additional affidavits describe the guards grabbing, dragging,
beating, choking, slamming, pinching, twisting and kicking the women.



Thus unfolded the?'Night of Terror' on Nov. 15, 1917, when the warden at the Occoquan Workhouse in Virginia ordered his
guards to teach a lesson to the suffragists imprisoned there because they dared to picket Woodrow Wilson's White House for the right to vote.

For weeks, the women's only water came from an open pail. Their food--all of it colorless slop--was infested with worms.



When one of the leaders, Alice Paul, embarked on a hunger strike, they tied her to a chair, forced a tube down her throat and poured liquid into her until she vomited. She was tortured like this for weeksuntil word was smuggled out to the press.

SUFFRAGE/NWP/PRISONERS

So, refresh my memory. Some women won't vote this year because--why, exactly? We have carpool duties?

We have to get to work?

Our vote doesn't matter?

It's raining.

Last week, I went to a sparsely attended screening of HBO's new movie 'Iron Jawed Angels.' It is a graphic depiction of the battle these women waged so that I could pull the cu rtain at the polling booth and have my say. I am ashamed to say I needed the reminder.

All these years later, voter registration is still my passion. But theactual act of voting had become less personal for me, more rote. Frankly, voting often felt more like an obligation than a privilege. Sometimes it was inconvenient.

My friend Wendy, who is my age and studied women's history, saw the HBO movie, too. When she stopped by my desk to talk
about it, she looked angry. She was--with herself. 'One thought kept coming back to me as I watched that movie,' she said.
'What would those women think of the way I use, or don't use, my right to vote? All of us take it for granted now, not just
younger women, but those of us who did seek to learn.' The right to vote, she said, had become valuable to her 'all over again.'

HBO released the movie on video and DVD . I wish all history,social studies and government teachers would include the movie in their curriculum I want it shown on Bunco night, too, and anywhereelse women gather. I realize this isn't our usual idea of socializing, but we are not voting in the numbers that we should be, and I think a little shock therapy is in order.

It is jarring to watch Woodrow Wilson and his cronies try to persuade a psychiatrist to declare Alice Paul insane so that she could be permanently institutionalized. And it is inspiring to watch the doctor refuse. Alice Paul was strong, he said, and brave. That didn't make her crazy.

The doctor admonished the men: 'Courage in women is often mistaken for insanity.'

Please, if you are so inclined, pass this on to all the women you know.

We need to get out and vote and use this right that was fought so hard for by these very courageous women. Whether you vote democratic, republican or independent party - remember to vote.

History is being made.

A WHIFF OF SCANDAL

You can sign up for this english pop culture newsletter at POPBITCH.COM. Here's a juicy tidbit from the latest issue.

Perfume ad unlikely to make screens

People buy perfume for the fundamental reason
that they think smelling nice will get them a
shag. Perfume advertising reflects that but
tries to get creative about it. Rive Gauche
perfume recently showed an experimental advert
to some very important Parisian perfume
retailers. The advert cuts to a boy in his
bed talking on the phone to a girl. They're
obviously having phone sex, and it looks
as if she uses the long, round perfume bottle
to pleasure herself. So far, so arty. Then
the boy gets up, sprays on some Rive Gauche
and walks out of his bedroom down a corridor,
past some family pictures. At that point you
realise the girl from the phone sex was...
his sister.

NEW VIDEO i'VIEW W/ GRACE!

She's at London's Q Awards and seems lit in her wasp woman look with an english accent!

WATCH IT HERE: PRINCESSBRITTANY.BLOGSPOT

SOPHIA LAMAR INSULTING?

"The Magick H8-Ball"
Featuring Sophia Lamar.
Video installation by Daniel McKernan.
Premiering at MIX 21 The New York Queer Experimental Film Festival
October 15-19, 2008
210 Front Street (at Beekman), Manhattan, NY



An interactive video installation featuring Sophia Lamar, which is a dark comedic reinterpretation of the classic fortune-telling children's toy, the Magic 8-Ball. After asking a yes-or-no question, the viewer presses the "H8" button of the piece; Sophia's floating head appears and reads the fortune in her infamously hateful & insulting manner. Special thanks to Burle Avant, Ned Stresen-Reuter, Mikey Lamar and Evan Monster.

HEE HEE!

(CLICK PIC TO ENLARGE)

TIMES REALLY ARE HARD!

MEET BURGER QUEEN!

MCCAIN IN THE BRAIN

I am in Thailand and it's a gorgeous, sunny day. But I'm glued to the TV waiting to watch the presidential debate. Although Obama was not my pick for the democratic nominee, he's the clear choice now and I'm a strong supporter. What I love is that McCain's recent attacks on Obama have raised the republican candidate's negatives, and his crazy flip-flopping on the poor economy (which his crew helped to create) haven't inspired trust that he can shepherd us out of the crisis. In other words, he's now viewed as too mean and too dumb to get votes! And after seeing republican strategists reverse the truth on John Kerry in the last election and make him, a decorated war hero, look weak on defense as opposed to Bush, a coke-snorting party boy who didn't even show up for service so that he wouldn't be tested for drugs, I am thrilled that a masterful Obama has turned the tables on the republicans--now this junior senator is seen as the older, steadier, more knowledgeable statesman (while still an agent of change) while McCain has played directly into his hands by acting erratic and admitting his own ignorance of the economy.

McCain's just started with a shout-out to old sour-puss Nancy Reagan! Talk about out of touch! The old fool is ambling and is probably to scared to even gets nasty as he wants to (or the republican party wants him to be). Good luck, Barack! I hope that among good ol' boys, McCain will always be remembered as the flop who was so pitiful that he couldn't even win against a black man ON ECONOMICS! McCain won't even be able to get a speaking gig at a KKK meeting. Good thing his wife is rich!

THOSE MUSLIM DEVILS!

WAIT! THESE ARE GAY!



It's LA's Club Nur, a club for middle eastern homos to boogie while watching Israeli and Arab go-go dancers and hookah-smoking!

FOR INFO/SLIDESHOW, CHECK OUT THEIR MYSPACE PAGE.

EVEN MY REPUBLICAN MAMA...

...CASTS A VOTE FOR OBAMA! A cute singer/songwriter and an Emmy-award winning videographer join forces to make a music video to help sway latino voters. PLEASE FORWARD TO YOUR LATINO FRIENDS!





MORE BACKGROUND INFO ON THE ARTIST: DAILYKOS.COM

LA PEQUENA SARAH PALIN

MIND-BOGGLINGLY ADORABLE!

CHANNING LOOKING SPECTACULAR!

PALIN VINDICATED OF TROOPERGATE?

FROM THE ANCHORAGE DAILY NEWS:

Sarah Palin's reaction to the Legislature's Troopergate report is an embarrassment to Alaskans and the nation.



She claims the report "vindicates" her. She said that the investigation found "no unlawful or unethical activity on my part."

Her response is either astoundingly ignorant or downright Orwellian.

Page 8, Finding Number One of the report says: "I find that Governor Sarah Palin abused her power by violating Alaska Statute 39.52.110(a) of the Alaska Executive Branch Ethics Act."

In plain English, she did something "unlawful." She broke the state ethics law.

Perhaps Gov. Palin has been too busy to actually read the Troopergate report. Perhaps she is relying on briefings from McCain campaign spinmeisters.

That's the charitable interpretation.

Because if she had actually read it, she couldn't claim "vindication" with a straight face.

Palin asserted that the report found "there was no abuse of authority at all in trying to get Officer Wooten fired."

In fact, the report concluded that "impermissible pressure was placed on several subordinates in order to advance a personal agenda, to wit: to get Trooper Michael Wooten fired."

Palin's response is the kind of political "big lie" that George Orwell warned against. War is peace. Black is white. Up is down.

BUNNY NOTE: KIND OF LIKE THE NONSENSE-SPEAK OF NO CHILD LEFT BEHIND AND OPERATION IRAQI FREEDOM!

MORE: ADNl

CANADA, HERE WE COME!

JOEY ARIAS: MAKING OUT

A PROMO FOR HIS SOUNDTRACK TO "ARIAS WITH A TWIST", WHICH IS STILL PLAYING (THROUGH DECEMBER) AT HERE PERFORMANCE SPACE.

"THE WOMEN" REMAKE

Oh dear. I've just read an interview in the BANGKOK POST with Annett Bening about her role in the remake of the camp classic THE WOMEN. I shudder to relay this tidbit:

"The original is a delightful movie," Bening says, "but the women characters in it are just awful. It's basically a film about stabbing each other in the back and using information against other women."

The remake has been in the making for the past 14 years. Originally (Meg) Ryan and Julia Roberts were attached to star, but co-stars and directors came and went as a decade passed and the film seemed forever consigned to development hell.

"A few years ago Diane English sent me her script of THE WOMEN," Bening recalls, "because she was determined to get this project away from the people controlling it. I told her off the bat that, if this was a straight retelling of the story, I wasn't interested."

In other words, Bening didn't want want to make a film about female backstabbers.

"The good news is that Diane's script is about female friendship and bonding," the actress says. "I think that's more realistic now, because I have many close friends who are women and we don't backstab each other. We depend on each other."

Despite being married and a mother of four, Bening insisted that her Sylvia Fowler speak for those women who have chosen to remain single and childless."

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?

I can't stand it when these Hollywood stars take it upon themselves to contradict the essence of a remake because of what's going on in their personal lives. Sylvia Fowler was a backstabbing bitch!. If you can't play one because you're such a goody two shoes in your own life that you'd rearrange a classic based on how supportive your fucking friends are then pass on it and let an actress who enjoys playing roles which don't have to mimic her personal experiences chew some scenery in a plum role. Annette is an outspoken democrat which I'm thankful for, but Hollywood already has enough problems with ruining classics-they don't need blissful, yoga'ed out LA actresses changing classic, cherished characters! I remember reading that the WONDER WOMAN movie was squashed because Sandra Bullock insisted on modifying the costume. But Lynda Carter's incredible figure and lovely was what made that part legendary--if you can't hack it, keep it movin'! Sorry, but THE WOMEN and WONDER WOMAN are properties which will long outlast the star power of Annette Bening and Sandra Bullock.

Besides, can any film with Jada Pinkett Smith succeed? I have nothing against her, but isn't she box office poison? Not exactly fond of frog-faced surgery frightmare Meg Ryan either. And this is the most exciting press image that they can come up with? PEW! Sounds like I'll be skipping this one.

DAVID ALAN GRIER'S CHOCOLATE NEWS CLIP

FROM SKRUFFF.COM

BY JONTY FROM HIS OFTEN FASCINATING NEWSLETTER WHICH YOU CAN SIGN UP FOR AT SKRUFFF.COM

Saudi Cleric Tackles Two Eyed Temptresses

A leading Muslim cleric has called for women to wear veils that reveal just one eye, explaining that ‘showing both eyes encourages women to use eye make-up to look seductive’ (BBC).

(BUNNY NOTE: YEAH, THIS IS PRETTY SEDUCTIVE--WRAPPED FROM HEAD-TO-TOE IN THE HEAT.)



Sheikh Muhammad al-Habadan, said to have ‘wide influence among religious Saudis’ by the BBC, made his sartorial suggestions on top Muslim satellite channel Al-MAdj, just as the Independent reviewed new dating guide 'How to Make Anyone Fall in Love With You: 85 Proven Techniques for Success'.

Writing in the guide, romance expert Leil Lowndes specifically emphasizes the importance of ‘sticky eyes’, in an uncanny endorsement of the Sheik’s suggestions.

“When you are talking to your quarry, let your eyes stay glued to his or hers a little longer than necessary - even during silences,” he advises, “A gaze that lingers awakens primal, slightly disturbing feelings. It induces the same "fight or flight" chemicals that race through our veins when we feel infatuation,” he added.

The guide however, also recommends further seduction tips that could work with one eye.

“For girls, take sneak peeks at his body - and when he sees you pretend you are a little embarrassed,” Lowndes suggested, “This should really get his juices flowing and is a great way to get a friend to think of you sexually.”

In more religion/ romance news, Muslim cleric Professor Is-haq Akintola addressed the thorny issue of homosexuality in Nigeria this week, calling on authorities to introduce rehabilitation centers for homosexuals.

Intriguingly, the cleric blamed Nigeria’s notoriously overcrowded ‘stone age barbaric’ prison system for turning more and more men gay, citing ‘body contacts that stir up lust as their emotions, sentiments and sensibilities go hay-wire’, and proposed a final solution for eradicating both prison over-crowding and gays.

“Homosexuality is a great sin in Islam. It is as grievous as adultery, and the punishment is the same,” the Professor told the Sunday Sun, “Homosexuals are to be condemned to death.”

Meanwhile in Cameroon, authorities continue to arrest and jail people for being gay, according to a report on RadioNetherlands this week, causing terror in the West African country (which borders Nigeria)

"If you wear an earring, if you are too handsome, too nice, too cute, very elegant, or wear very trendy clothes, just that could land you in prison on charges of homosexuality,” leading Cameroonian lawyer Alice Nkom told the Dutch station.

BABS THE BLOGGER?

SHE LASHES OUT HER FAMOUSLY LONG NAILS AND TURNS UP THAT SCHNOZ AT PALIN ON HUFFPO:



Until the Republican Convention, very few had ever heard of Sarah Palin... and now this mean-spirited campaigner is asking who is Barack Obama?

I'm asking who is Sarah Palin?

MORE: HUFFPO

MYRTLE DIED!

Except for one very bored summer in my teen years, I've never been a big soap fan. But I did become briefly addicted to ALL MY CHILDREN around 1982, and was mesmerized by Eileen Herlie, who portrayed Myrtle, who ran a boutique in Pine Valley. Myrtle was a good listener, so she could comfort whichever crazy popped into her shop. Not too many dramas directly involved her, but somehow, over a decade later, I somehow managed to catch a few episodes when she became a central figure. In the 80's, soaps veered away from their usual plot lines of romance, infidelity, and mysterious secret relatives popping up from the past. After Luke and Laura became involved in international espionage, the stories just became too ridiculous, though a fun disco song called GENERAL HOSPITALE came out of it. Anyone know it? It was a hit on Chattanooga's radio stations.



Anyhoo, the soaps reached their zenith of popularity in the 80's and we even saw the development of night time soaps like DYNASTY and DALLAS, which I never had any interest in. The precursors of the death of the script which gave way to reality TV, perhaps?

As I mentioned, soaps plot's got crazier and crazier. PASSIONS' witch-themed nonsense was particularly bonkers, but I was channel-surfing one day and who should appear on my screen but old Myrtle. The dear gal was involved in a romance which had all of Pine Valley a-gossiping! It seems Myrtle had gotten involved with an old bearded gentleman who everyone thought was trash. Myrtle was in love, but even she was unsure when her burly beau revealed that he was homeless. It turns out that Myrtle was right to pooh-pooh her man's naysayers, when it was revealed that her jolly old suitor was none other than Santy Claus, and only Myrtle had had the good judgement to recognize his benevolent nature.

I could never quite comprehend Myrtle's accent--her obituary reveals that she was Scottish. By the time it was muted in an attempt to sound "American", it sounded like a ham-bone ex-carnival worker. Still, she was mesmerizing in her lunacy, and delighted soap audiences from 1976 until her death.

WHO'S NAILIN' PALIN?

The star of a new Palin-based porno flick is interviewed on the set. I doubt if she'll watch it--she admitted that she watched the SNL skit with the sound down!

CONSERVATIVES SLAM MCCAIN CAMPAIGN--ON FOX!

And the fool is getting boo'ed at his own events! I pray that he loses and that he will be considered by racists as the white guy who was so pitiful that his ineptitude enabled the black candidate to break that glass ceiling! He won't even be able to get a speaking gig! Not that he's worried about $ with Cindy's fortune.

DUH! PALIN THINKS FANS ARE PROTESTERS!

VIA HUFFPO:

Palin Mistakes Fans For Protesters At Va. Rally

Republican vice presidential candidate Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin speaks to supporters during a rally at the Richmond International Raceway Monday, Oct. 13, 2008, in Richmond, Va. (AP Photo/Lisa Billings)
Get Breaking News Alerts

RICHMOND, Va. — Republican vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin mistook some of her own fans for hecklers Monday at a rally that drew thousands.

A massive crowd of at least 20,000 spread across the parking lot of Richmond International Raceway, and scores of people on the outer periphery more than 100 yards from the stage could not hear.

"Louder! Louder!" they began chanting, and the cry spread across the crowd to Palin's left. Some pointed skyward, urging that the volume be increased.

Palin stopped her remarks briefly and looked toward the commotion.

"I hope those protesters have the courage and honor to give veterans thanks for their right to protest," she said.

MORE: HUFFPO

PALIN POLL

Before you say "Oh no, not another stupid poll", remember that if elected she is one heartless heartbeat away from being president. Also bear in mind that McCain is the oldest presidential candidate ever and has survived at least 4 bouts with cancer--AND HE WILL NOT RELEASE HIS HEALTH RECORDS! I put nothing past these right-wingers. After a Republican journalist wrote that she felt Palin was unqualified for the job, she says she received the most vicious, threatening hate mail of her entire career! And she's Republican! Is it too farfetched that these same freaks, speaking in tongues and worked up by witch doctors like Palin's own Pastor Muthee, might not assassinate McCain so that their girl can ascend into office and hasten the End of Days?


PBS has an online poll posted asking if Sarah Palin is
qualified. The buzz is that her supporters knew about this
in advance and are flooding the voting with YES votes.

The poll will be reported on PBS and picked up by
mainstream media. It might influence undecided voters
in swing states.

Please do two things -- takes 20 seconds.

1) Click on link and vote yourself.

Here's the link: l PBS

2) Then send this to every single Obama-Biden voter
you know, and urge them to vote and pass it on.

The last thing we need is PBS saying that their viewers
think Sarah Palin is qualified.

A HURRICANE I CAN'T WAIT FOR!

FOLLOW THIS LINK TO A REVIEW OF GRACE'S FIRST ALBUM IN 20 YEARS, HURRICANE! YOU CAN WATCH HER TRIPPY VIDEO FOR CORPORATE CANNIBAL HERE AS WELL.

Grace has an official site, too. With new images accompanied by quotes like:



"MEN ARE TERRIFIED OF ME. I CAN EASILY STEP INTO STEP INTO THE MAN’S SHOE, AND THAT PUTS THE MAN IN A POSITION WHERE HE HAS TO BECOME THE FEMALE. THAT'S WHAT SETS OFF THE TENSION. BUT MY IMAGE IS SUPPOSED TO FRIGHTEN MEN - SO ONLY THE GOOD ONES COME THROUGH."

3 GREAT BLASTS FROM THE PAST

THE CRUSADERS: SREET LIFE



WOMACK AND WOMACK: TEARDROPS



GEORGE MCCRAE: ROCK YOUR BABY

HEE HEE!

"FREQUENTLY OVERSIZED" GOWNS!

HALLOWE'EN COSTUME HUNTING A DRAG? THEN CHECK THIS OUT!


THE FIRST ANNUAL
HALLOWEEN DRAG EXCHANGE

-- Gowns, wigs and jewelry come out of the closets of
The Imperial Court of New York --


What: Hundreds of New Yorkers are hunting for the ultimate Halloween costume each year. The Imperial Court of New York will hold the First Annual Halloween Drag Exchange, where for the first time the city's most elegant drag queens will offer treasures from their overstuffed closets at bargain prices!

Excessively extravagant, often custom made and frequently oversized gowns, costumes, jewelry, accessories, shoes and styled wigs will be offered to the public, along with creative formal and "special" informal men's wear, and props.



A special effects makeup clinic will be held cour tesy of Alcone Company
Scars * Wounds * Blood * Gore * Glamour

Profits will be donated to the Imperial Court of New York/Coco La Chine Scholarship Fund.

Celebrate Halloween with Glitz and Glamour!

When: Sunday, October 19th
10:00 am - 6:00 p.m.

Where: NYC LGBT Community Center
208 West 13th Street, first floor

ONE FOR THE SWING VOTERS!

LILY OF THE VALLEY IS BACK!

FORM LILY (AKA MICHAEL CAVADIAS)

Fellow Citizens,

With only 1 more month until the Presidential Election, we are thrilled to announce a three-night run of our musical extravaganza “The Panic Is On,” which we’ll be performing at The Henry Street Settlement’s Abrons Arts Center in NYC at 8 pm each night on Thursday, October 23rd ; Friday, October 24th; and Saturday, October 25th.



We’ve been entirely overwhelmed by the response from our past performances of this production and we hope that everyone who enjoyed the show will take this opportunity to tell their friends.

Tickets are on sale now for $25 from OVATIONTIX.

And their BEAUTIFUL website is worth a gander for pics, reviews, etc: CITIZENSBAND

"ALL THE NEWS THAT'S LEFT TO PRINT"

FROM THE LOSTNEWS.COM:

Mayor In Russia Says He Can See Sarah Palin Showering From His House



(Provideniya, Russia) Governor Sarah Palin, the Republican Vice Presidential nominee, has said that she can see Russia from her house. Across the Bering Strait in Provideniya Bay sits the town of Provideniya, Russia and its mayor Dimitri Andropov. He says that he can see Palin showering from HIS house. “And it is very nice.”

Mayor Andropov added that his small town, like America, is transfixed with the buxom Governor. “We have a shower watchman on duty 24/7. And when the delightful Palin turns on the water and lets down her hair, the alarm sounds, telling everyone to rush to my house for a show. The kids love it.”

Leonid Andropov, the Mayor’s brother, said that the ability to see Palin shower has given him and the other men a newfound respect for her. “She’s a very thorough cleaner, which is tough when one is dealing with moose guts, wolf blood and oil…And she doesn’t have a mustache, which is just a big plus for us.”

YOU WANT TO READ THE REST: THELOSTNEWS

IN HOUSTON?

JOIN ME HALLOWE'EN AT THE GLAMOROUS HOTEL ZAZA! WITH BUBBA LICIOUS AS HIS DRAG ALTER EGO, BLAZE!

SOUTH PARK: N_GGERS

THE "GRANNY KICKS BABY" COMPILATION?!?!

COUNTRY FIRST?

WHICH COUNTRY DOES PALIN MEAN? THE USA OR ALASKA?

RACHEL BUTCHES IT UP FOR LENO!

She took all her make-up off for Leno--and didn't even put it back on for MSNBC later! And she adds nerd glasses!

BUSH'S LEGACY

QUEEN KONG

Two gay blokes are walking through a zoo. They come across the gorilla and notice that the male gorilla has a massive erection.

The gay men are fascinated by this. One of the men just can't bear it any longer, and he reaches into the cage to touch it.

The gorilla grabs him, drags him into the cage and mates with him for six hours, non-stop, while the zoo attendants helplessly stand by.

When he's done, the gorilla throws the man out of the cage. An ambulance is called and the man is taken away to the hospital.

A few days later, his friend visits him in the hospital and asks, "Are you hurt?"

"AM I HURT?" he shouts, "Wouldn't you be? He hasn't called....he hasn't written....."

MAKE BELIEVE MAVERICK

FANTASTIC ARTICLE FROM THE ROLLING STONE'S TIM DICKINSON!

AN EXCERPT:

This is the story of the real John McCain, the one who has been hiding in plain sight. It is the story of a man who has consistently put his own advancement above all else, a man willing to say and do anything to achieve his ultimate ambition: to become commander in chief, ascending to the one position that would finally enable him to outrank his four-star father and grandfather.

In its broad strokes, McCain's life story is oddly similar to that of the current occupant of the White House. John Sidney McCain III and George Walker Bush both represent the third generation of American dynasties. Both were born into positions of privilege against which they rebelled into mediocrity. Both developed an uncanny social intelligence that allowed them to skate by with a minimum of mental exertion. Both struggled with booze and loutish behavior. At each step, with the aid of their fathers' powerful friends, both failed upward. And both shed their skins as Episcopalian members of the Washington elite to build political careers as self-styled, ranch-inhabiting Westerners who pray to Jesus in their wives' evangelical churches.

In one vital respect, however, the comparison is deeply unfair to the current president: George W. Bush was a much better pilot.

READ THE REST: ROLLINGSTONE

SHERRY VINE AND EPIPHANY

BETTY WHITE MUST BE STOPPED!

SHE IS TOO ADORABLE IN THIS CRAIG FERGUSON CLIP!

NUCLEAR AIDS VAMPIRES!

PUNK PRIESTESS JAYNE COUNTY GOES OFF ON "REPUBLIKKKANS"!

LAVINIA CO-OP'S BACK!

THE FORMER MEMBER OF THE GROUND-BREAKING LONDON DRAG TROOP BLOOLIPS IS APPEARING EACH THURSDAY AT TELEPHONE BAR AND GRILL WITH HER INSANE COCKNEY VAUDEVILLIAN MADNESS.

CHARO IN 1971--WITH A COLD!

ON THE JOEY BISHOP SHOW:



THANKFULLY, SHE'D RECOVERED BY THE TIME HER 1976 TV SPECIAL WAS TAPED. CHECK THIS INSANE ARRANGEMENT OF LOVE WILL KEEP US TOGETHER.



NOT AN UP DO AND A TUX! I THINK SHE'S GORGEOUS, BUT SHE'S SO RETARDED! WAS SHE CONSIDERED MORE OF A SEX BOMB OR A CLOWN? I CAN'T GET ENOUGH!



AS MARTHA WASHINGTON??? BRUCE VILANCH MUST HAVE WRITTEN THIS! ONE OF THE COMMENTS IS "Welcome to the Online Old Folks Home!"! AND YOU KNOW YOU ARE SAD WHEN YOU WAIT THROUGH VINTAGE COMMERCIALS FOR ANOTHER GLIMPSE OF MS. CUGAT! CHRIST! I WAS RIGHT ABOUT BRUCE-HE'S IN THE CREDITS!



AND MEET CHARO'S MOM!

JOHN MCCAIN=THE PENGUIN!

I knew there was something familiar in that sinister "henh?" sound that McCain kept making. It's Burgess Meredith as The Penguin from BATMAN! Thanks to Dany from dyxsploitation for sending and to whoever animated the genius clip.

BARDOT VS PALIN

VIA HUFFPO:

BRIGITTE "STROTHERS" BARDOT



Legendary french film siren Brigitte Bardot has denounced Sarah Palin:

In a final salvo against Palin, the 74-year-old ex-star picked up on Palin's depiction of herself as a pitbull wearing lipstick and said she "implored" her not to compare herself to dogs.

"I know them well and I can assure you that no pitbull, no dog, nor any other animal for that matter is as dangerous as you are," Bardot wrote.

TIM AND ERIC: BIOLOGY FOR FOREIGN MEN

FLORIDA?

Wow! Barack is even gaining speed in the Republican stomping ground of Bush's own brother Jeb. The seniors are peeved that McCain plans to slash a cool trillion of off Medicare. And the large jewish population must be buzzing about John's ties to anti-semitic group U.S. Council For Freedom. Ties? Hell, he was on the board!

SNAP!

John McCain and Barack Obama somehow ended up at the same barbershop.


As they sat there, each being worked on by a different barber, not a word was spoken. The barbers were even afraid to start a conversation, for fear it would turn to politics.


As the barbers finished their shaves, the one who had McCain in his chair reached for the aftershave. McCain was quick to stop him saying, 'No thanks, my wife will smell that and think I've been in a whorehouse.'


The second barber turned to Obama and said, 'How about you?'

Obama replied, 'You can go ahead, MY wife doesn't know what the inside of a whorehouse smells like.'

MCCAIN BE OLD!

EVEN PALIN SUPPORTERS ARE KEPT FROM PRESS!

VIA HUFFPO:



Maybe because they are the stupidest (or greediest) people on earth! What kind of dunce dresses up as Raggedy Andy for a speech by a VP nominee?

October 06, 2008

Press kept under a watchful eye

CLEARWATER -- Constantly under the watchful eyes of security, the media wasn't permitted to wander around inside Coachman Park to talk to Sarah Palin supporters. When reporters tried to leave the designated press area and head toward the bleachers where the crowd was seated, an escort would dart out of nowhere and confront him or her and say, "Can I help you?'' and turn the person around.
When one reporter asked an escort, who would not give her name, why the press wasn't allowed to mingle, she said that in the past, negative things had been written. The campaign wanted to avoid that possibility Monday.

-- Times staff writer Eileen Schulte

*

TAMPABAY

DON'T KNOW WHAT TO MAKE OF THIS ONE!

DANCING IN CHURCH: POSSESSED!

If my church was this fun, I might have kept going. Too bad Bill Maher didn't include any of this in his new film RELIGULOUS. Saw it Friday night and it is a scream. I particularly go insane when during the footage of the speaking i tongues. He doesn't let jews or muslims off the hook either. IT'S A MUST SEE! And now this:

MOD BARBIE!

FROM MATTEL IN SEPTEMBER 2009:

WIG OUT: NY TIMES REVIEW

FROM NY TIMES BY BEN BRANTLEY:

The Fates 3, the voluptuous trio that sings a mean backup to daily events in a place called the House of Light, say that “Vogue is the official language” of their world. But though the poses of high fashion figure flamboyantly here, this pronouncement doesn’t begin to do justice to the richness of the lingo spoken by the characters in “Wig Out!,” the new play by the astonishing young dramatist Tarell Alvin McCraney, which opened on Tuesday night at the Vineyard Theater.


Clifton Oliver, foreground center, and, above from left, Angela Grovey, Rebecca Naomi Jones and McKenzie Frye in “Wig Out!”

The outcasts in this gutsy, pulsing portrait of uptown drag queens and the men who love them have reinvented the world from the ground up — no, make that from the Garden of Eden onward. These are people with their own heroic guiding myths — of creation, nation and divinity — and their own intricate and inviolable rules for what constitutes a home, a family and a sexual identity.

WHOLE REVIEW: NYTIMES

NEW JOHN KELLY SHOW

Spiegelworld in association TWEED TheaterWorks presents

JOHN KELLY & DARGELOS, THE ESCAPE ARTIST

After years of globe traipsing Kelly returns to New York bringing with him Dargelos.

Dargelos: tragic beauty, narcissistic hero and a moniker for his music.

Dargelos: brother of Kelly’s alter ego Dagmar Onassis.

Dargelos: street hustler and altar boy; starred male dragged through some dark times.

An artist escaped, a weathered sage returned solid.


Sunday October 19th 10pm
The Deluxe Tent, Pier 17, South Street Seaport

( South Street & Beekman Street )

Tickets $25. (door) $20. (advance )

Advance tickets at www.spiegelworld.com or 212.279.4200

(Advance sale use $5 discount code: KELLY)

Directions by subway: 2,3,4,5,J,ZM to Fulton Street ; A, C to Broadway Nassau. Walk east on Fulton Street to the East River

This concert will include songs by: Charles Aznavour, Bertholt Brecht, Donovan, Hans Eisler,
Ricky Ian Gordon, John Kelly & Carol Lipnik, Joni Mitchell, Dudley Saunders, and Kurt Weill.

THE LEGS ARE THE LAST TO GO

I WORSHIP DIAHANN! I ALWAYS THOUGH RUPAUL LOOKED LIKE HER WHEN SHE STARTED DOING GLAMOUR DRAG.



FROM TCM.COM

DIAHANN CARROL'S AUTOBIOGRAPHY IS OUT NOW!

She is perhaps most famous for her role as Dominique Deveraux, the “black bitch” from Dynasty. But she is also a Golden Globe and Tony Award winning actress of stage, screen and film and has been nominated for an Oscar®, a Grammy, and an Emmy. Carroll has appeared in dozens of acclaimed movies and both starred in her own network sitcom, Julia, and hosted a television variety show that bore her name for several years. In addition, she has graced the stages of Broadway many times (for productions by Truman Capote and Richard Rodgers), performed as a headlining singer in Las Vegas and New York and produced and starred in her own critically-acclaimed one-woman show. And, at age seventy-three, she is still appearing in plum roles for hit television series like Grey’s Anatomy (for which she recently received another Emmy Award nomination).

She is Diahann Carroll and, by all Hollywood accounts, her career could have faltered the moment she turned forty. But not only did her career not crumble at that mythical Hollywood expiration date, it actually thrived (though, not without more than a few bumps along the way). And more importantly, as she grew older, Carroll’s personal life flourished as well, as the cumulative wisdom of her years finally began to manifest itself into happiness, contentment and a newfound confidence in her own skin.

MORE: TCM.COM

TRAINING SATAN

NEW YORK MAG ON WIGSTOCK

(Photo: Joe Corrigan/Getty Images)

Wigstock Takes a Powder (Again)
Lady Bunny hops away.

Will Wigstock ever return? The Labor Day drag fiesta, of late a part of the Howl! festival in the East Village, is off. “Wigstock hasn’t curled up and died for good,” swears its impresario, Lady Bunny, promising that it’ll return next year for its 25th anniversary. This year’s Howl! won’t be without a drag contingent, however: San Francisco’s Cockettes will stage Pearls Over Shanghai. It’s the company’s first New York performance since a disastrous 1971 show that was received so badly—Gore Vidal famously quipped “having no talent is not enough” about it—that the group broke up afterward.

LAQUEESHA ON THE DEBATE

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

I THINK SHE NEEDS A REGULAR SEGMENT ON THE UPCOMING COMEDY CENTRAL SHOW: CHOCOLATE NEWS, STARRING THE SUPREMELY TALENTED DAVID ALLAN GRIER--DEBUTS THIS WEDNESDAY! THIS PREVIEW LOOKS FANTASTIC!

WHICH CANDIDATE REP'S CORPORATE EXCESS?

(CLICK PIC TO EMLARGE)

SNL PARODIES THE LAWRENCE WELK SHOW

AND THE RESULTS ARE HYSTERICAL!

KEITH OLBERMANN ON PALIN

LONG, BUT SO WORTH IT!

HOW RACISM WORKS

(A forward--author unknown)

What if John McCain were a former president of the Harvard Law Review?
What if Barack Obama finished fifth from the bottom of his graduating class?

What if Obama were a member of the Keating-5?
What if McCain were a charismatic, eloquent speaker?

What if McCain were still married to the first woman he said 'I do' to?
What if Obama were the candidate who left his first wife after she no longer measured up to his standards?

What if Michelle Obama were a wife who not only became addicted to pain killers, but acquired them illegally throu gh her charitable organization?
What if Cindy McCain graduated from Harvard?

If these questions reflected reality, do you really believe the election numbers would be as close as they are?

This is what racism does. It covers up, rationalizes and minimizes positive qualities in one candidate and emphasizes negative qualities in another when there is a color difference.

You are The Boss... which team would you hire?

With America facing historic debt, 2 wars, stumbling health care, a weakened dollar, all-time high prison population, mortgage crises, bank foreclosures, etc. consider...

Educational Background:

Obama:
Columbia University - B.A. Political Science with a Specialization in International Relations.
Harvard - Juris Doctor (J.D.) Magna Cum Laude

Biden:
University of Delaware - B.A. in History and B.A. in Political Science.
Syracuse University College of Law - Juris Doctor (J.D.)

vs.

McCain:
United States Naval Academy - Class rank: 894 of 899

Palin:
Hawaii Pacific University - 1 semester
North Idaho College - 2 semesters - general study
University of Idaho - 2 semesters - journalism
Matanuska-Susitna College - 1 semester
University of Idaho - 3 semesters - B.A. in Journalism

Now, which team are you going to hire ?

BRING YOUR VIDEO CAMERA!

TUESDAY, OCT. 7 - JOAN RIVERS HAS CUPCAKES FOR YOU!



Tuesday, October 7, Joan Rivers is selling cupcakes on the streets of Manhattan! No, not because of the stock market downturn ... the proceeds benefit God's Love, We Deliver. Stop by, say hello to Joan, and buy some goodies for your snacking pleasure.

Joan will be on the sidewalk at 57th Street and Fifth Avenue from 10:30-noon
and outside Radio City Music Hall from Noon-2:30.

MR. FASHION REMEMBERED

PUTTING HOWARD DEAN'S LEGENDARY YELP TO SHAME

THIS SICK NOISE THAT MCCAIN MADE RECENTLY IS REALLY DISTURBING:

SARAH PALIN DEBATE RECAP

FROM LETTERMAN:

I DON'T ALWAYS AGREE WITH P DIDDY, BUT...

SLINGBACKS AND SYRUP!

OUCH! THESE RECIPES ARE NUTS!

MORE, IF YOU DARE! ANANOVA.COM

MAY I RECOMMEND THAT YOU ENJOY DISHES LIKE PIZZA WITH SERBIAN MEATBALLS WITH A YUMMY ROOM TEMPERATE DIET COCK!

NOT SUCKING ON A TAMPON!

BRUNO (AKA SACHA BARON COHEN) ATTENDS STELLA MCCARTNEY'S SHOW "SUCKING ON A TAMPON"! Whatever movie that fool is cooking up is gonna be a winner! And that dress is so sick that I'd wear it! Um, as a scarf, maybe?



READ MORE: HUFFPO

PALIN ATTENDS SF'S SLEAZY FOLSOM ST FAIR?

Not exactly, but a darn good (wink!) impersonator made the rounds toting her rifle and a baby doll. Loads of more great pics on THE SWORD. McCain also made an appearance--shirtless, no less!

SARAH PSYCHO PALIN

FROM MY FRIEND XAVIER:

Yes, everyone is talking about her.

But watching her the other night, something clicked. I’m convinced the woman is a clinical sociopath.

My friend Shane thinks I should write an article about it....maybe. But in the meantime...

Just a few characteristics that define a sociopath:

Glibness and Superficial Charm (I’d give examples, but I just ate.)

Manipulative and Conning (firings, hiring of friends, billing for nights spent at home, concealing pregnancy, “Sarah Barracuda” nickname. Some Alaskans are “afraid” of her.)

Grandiose sense of self (Most obviously: Why else hasn’t her unqualified and inexperienced ass stepped down? & Proximity to Russia = foreign policy competence.)

Shallow Emotions

Pathological Lying (Daily Kos post with examples entitled “Okay now she’s OFFICIALLY a pathological liar”: DAILYKOS)

Lack of Remorse, Shame or Guilt

Usually has a history of behavioral and academic difficulties (5 colleges in 6 years)

Shit! I just googled this and someone else has independently posited the same thoery: EONS.COM

ANOTHER WINNER FOR COLBERT

THIS VIDEO IS INSANELY FUNNY!

GAG! THIS QUEEN IS WHITE!

As Shirley Q. Liquor could tell you, there is plenty of controversy surrounding black face drag. To me, she's expressing herself and ain't hurtin' nobody. And making a lot of money for her tricks dry cleaners and laundromats. See, there you go. I'm not trying to be racist implying that her tricks don't own their own washer/dryer cuz I know I don't! But perhaps someone black might be offended. She explains unique fetish on her myspace page:

I know this may seem messed up to some people, but... I'm a white guy who wants to be a black shemale (tranny, transsexual, whatever...). I've been a life-long cross dresser. I've always known that EXTREME transformation was a big turn on for me. I occassionaly experimented with looks that made me seem more "latin / latin American." Then I decided to try looking black (and I've almost never been back). I had a lot of dark brown creme founation left over from "contouring wheels," enough to cover my face, chest and hands. I liked the results but wanted more. I began covering my entire body with dark liquid foundations with dry pigments mixed in for a richer tone. I loved the results! In short, I was addicted and felt that this was THE way I wanted to express myself... and I still do. It's messy and time consuming, so I don't get around to it a whole lot. I fantasize about it constantly. Part of the fantasy is about making this "look" more permanent. I know this will offend some people. I absolutely don't want to portray a caricature of anyone. All I can say is for some reason this persona makes me feel a lot more confident about my sexuality and gender identity.


BUNNY QUESTION: WHAT ARE "CONTOURING WHEELS"? AND WHERE CAN I GET SOME? AT 3:00 AM? PLEASE

SOUNDS OF BLACKNESS: OPTIMISTIC

This is one of my all time fav songs and it is guaranteed to lift my spirits. The group is Sounds of Blackness, with lead singer Ann Nesby, who is American Idol competitor Paris Bennett's grandmaw. Househeads might know Ann better as the voice behind the Frankie Knuckles smash THE PRESSURE, but she also had a couple of other gorgeous singles like CAN I GET A WITNESS and HOLD ON. And a pretty slow ballad with Al Green called PUT IT ON PAPER. (Ann's the one in the short wig and the black beaded dolman affair.)

PALIN TAKES A FALL!

I've just heard it reported that Sarah Palin has fallen while jogging on McCain's ranch, where she was attending debate boot camp in preparation for tonight. She will appear in a hand bandage! Hmm. I wonder if it will be big enough to hide a hearing aid to feed her answers whenever she puts her hand to her face or hair! Like that odd, unexplained box that appeared underneath the back of W's suit jacket during his debate with Kerry? Or maybe they'll blame a dismal performance on pain-killers she had to take, because she would never dream of cancelling. The way McCain cancelled his debate to rush to Washington to "rescue the economy" though he'd already taken out an ad declaring himself the winner?

Or maybe she'll get really psycho and start speaking in tongues like the freaks in her church do. Maybe that will teach the idiots in this country to separate church and state once and for all. Or maybe I'll start speaking in tongues as i combust from her lunacy. Whatever. This is the most highly anticipated television moment since ROOTS.

BREAKING DOWN THE BAIL-OUT

JOAN COLLINS GETS A BLOW JOB

AND ALMOST LOSES HER WIG, BUT STILL LOOKS HOT!

(CLICK PIC TO ENLARGE)



SHE ALSO HAS A NEW COLUMN IN THE DAILY TELEGRAPH IN WHICH SHE CALLS MCCAIN "A DOUGH-FACED GNOME"!

JACKIE BEAT AS ME!

The demented Jackie Beat is playing me in a take-off on Tom RUbnitz's cult video short, PICKLE SURPRISE. Jackie really got my make-up down. But wait! Does that mean she's trying to say that she's remaking a classic and that I'm old? Fuck her! At least I was thin. I said WAS! Anyway, I can't wait to see Jackster's version. Here's a pic from Jackie's shoot and I'll post the finished product when it's edited.



AND HERE'S THE ORIGINAL, WITH PAT FIELD'S DESIGNER DAVID DALRYMPLE, RUPAUL, LAHOMA VAN ZANDT, SISTER DIMENSION AND MARIA AYALA.

RANDI RHODES TOMORROW

THE GODDESS OF RADIO: RANDI RHODES!



Whatever happens at tonight's VP debate tonight, Randi Rhodes incisive take on it will be thrilling! Randi moved months ago from AIR AMERICA to NOVA M RADIO, which still enables you to listen to a free stream at her old time, 3:00-6:00 Eastern time. However, the streaming can be VERY confusing. Google Nova M Radio or Randi Rhodes and go to the page with a LISTEN LIVE feature. Click on it and you'll be given 3 choices:

PRIMARY:

SECONDARY:

DIAL-UP.


I have had awful luck getting Randi. When you hit primary or secondary, you get a pop-up which has an advertisement by Mike Malloy. After waiting a few moments, sometimes Randi comes on. Sometimes she don't. Sometimes she comes on for a while a while and then stops. Or comes on stops and comes back on at the beginning of what you have just heard. (Sometimes, it's so great that I'll listen twice!) Admittedly a tech dunce, today I tried the dial-up option even though my internet is through my cable TV. It works fine as long as you have itunes.

So tune in to Randi tomorrow for a hoot of a show!

BOB CESCA ON PALIN

Yes, I am DYING to see the VP debate tonight. Sick of all the lowered expectations/raised expectations talk, etc. Maybe Palin is better in front of a crowd than in any of the many interviews she's flubbed this past week. One pundit claimed that all she has to do tonight is be chirpy and remind the nation why they fell in love with her in the first place.


WHICH IS WHY? BECAUSE AMERICANS ARE STUPID HAT THEY ARE EASILY MANIPULATED BY A WELL-WRITTEN SPEECH? It sure worked for Bush. (In fact, it was his speech writer who crafted her wildly popular RNC debut.
)



But her recent interviews have proved that she can't name a magazine she reads (not even Highlights?), can't name a Supreme Court case other than Roe Vs Wade (I couldn't either, but I'm not running for office), and doesn't know what the Bush doctrine is. But when that mythical phone rings at 3:00 AM with an international crisis and McCain's old ass has kicked the bucket and she's president, I feel confident that if she doesn't have the answers, she'll "go get some and bring 'em to ya" as she told Katie Couric. Katie must worship Palin, since her show's lack-luster ratings must be through the roof with Couric/Palin interview teasers shown all day on every news channel for a week now. If that thing ever does become president, she'll make a fine argument for women NOT receiving equal pay.


Now the bitch is trying to ignore her large fortune and pass herself off as a regular ol' Joe 6-pack who is being unfairly picked on by the mean ol' asking-them-hard-questions-again-on-purpose GOTCHA liberal media. (Please! Even republicans are slamming her--some demanding that she step down.) Maybe I'm naive, but at this point, I don't even think Joe 6-pack wants to see Joe 6-pack run the country. For some reason, in this country, the poor vote rich. IDIOT ALERT: unless you make over $250,000, you are not going to benefit from MCCain's tax cuts! But even a fundamentalist simpleton who wants Palin elected because he fantasizes about f#cking her must realize on some level, the problems facing this country are so complex and plentiful that a Jane 6-pack just ain't gonna get it this time. Duh, after 8 years of simpleminded Bush, the least popular president ever. Who came into office with a huge surplus--and look at our economy now--as of last night, we're paying to bail out...gulp...financial institutions? Hey, I'm happy for as many democratic votes as possible, but it sickens me that people are choosing their president based on their pocket-books. The senseless killing in Iraq or the trillions it cost doesn't bother this "christian" nation, but let those gas prices inch up and suddenly our greedy, soulless heads come out the sand to protest. Anyway, that's another rant altogether.


HERE'S A GREAT READ FROM HUFFPO'S BOB CESCA:

SARAH-6 PACK NEEDS TO PUT COUNTRY FIRST BY STEPPING DOWN

Mike Judge, the creator of King of the Hill and Beavis & Butthead, once told a story on Letterman about how, one day, his Joe Six-pack next-door neighbor was inexplicably removing the back windshield from a 1978 Chevy Nova.
So Judge walked out to the parking lot of his apartment building and asked the neighbor, "What are you doing?" And the neighbor gleefully answered, "Huh-huh-huh! Huh-huh! Now it's like a truck!"

In the freakishly hamfisted world of Sarah Palin, Mike Judge's neighbor is qualified to be vice president of the United States.


Yesterday, Palin said the following to talk radio wingnut Hugh Hewitt:

"Oh, I think they're just not used to someone coming in from the outside saying you know what? It's time that a normal Joe Six-pack American is finally represented in the position of vice presidency, and I think that that's kind of taken some people off guard, and they're out of sorts, and they're ticked off about it.
"

There's so much awfulness in this quote, it's difficult to know where to begin. Out of sorts? Ticked off? Oh you betcha.


WHOLE ARTICLE: HUFFPO

MCCAIN GETS LOST ONSTAGE!

Watch this turd! What a dithering dunce! Admittedly, I've done the same a time or two, but I had a good excuse--drugs and alcohol! (Coupled with senility.)

JOANIE LAURE AKA CHYNA

Since I'm no wrestling fan and don't read Playboy, I was not familiar with Miss Laurer until she appeared on reality show THE SURREAL LIFE. Though she's pretty, she's also so large and manly that I was convinced that she was transsexual. But I just came across an article on Rotten.com which claims that she may just be a tall woman who has taken a ton of steroids. Like enough to grow a cock! Whatever she is, she ain't ashamed to show it, and came out with a porno flick (A NIGHT IN CHINA) right after Paris Hilton's. Rotten.com was good enough to provide some still shots of her genitalia and I now must say that I am more mystified than ever. Even if the steroids caused her clit to extend and grow what appears to be a glans and foreskin, in a couple of these pix she appears to have a clitty-cock and balls growing out of a vagina! So I'm now more mystified than ever! I'm even more mystified that spell-check ok'ed clitty until I hyphenated it together with cock. Ah, he world's still full of magic!

PETER ALSOP

Check out this wacky children's entertainer. I recommend POOP GOES THE WEASEL!



MYSPACE

LETTERMAN'S TOP TEN

TOP TEN THINGS HEARD AT SARAH PALIN'S DEBATE BOOT CAMP:

HUFFPO


ALSO, THIS IS AN ACTUAL CRAIG'S LIST AD.

THANKS TO LEONARDO DICAPRIO FOR THIS!

VIA HUFFPO

FROM MICHAEL MOORE

I'm glad I signed up for his newsletter. Sorry to bite his whole letter, but it needs to be read. And at least I added a purdy picture. I also saw a humorous beggar today with a cardboard sign which read "Obama's not the only one who wants change."

BY MICHAEL MOORE

The richest 400 Americans -- that's right, just four hundred people -- own MORE than the bottom 150 million Americans combined. 400 rich Americans have got more stashed away than half the entire country! Their combined net worth is $1.6 trillion. During the eight years of the Bush Administration, their wealth has increased by nearly $700 billion -- the same amount that they are now demanding we give to them for the "bailout." Why don't they just spend the money they made under Bush to bail themselves out? They'd still have nearly a trillion dollars left over to spread amongst themselves!



Of course, they are not going to do that -- at least not voluntarily. George W. Bush was handed a $127 billion surplus when Bill Clinton left office. Because that money was OUR money and not his, he did what the rich prefer to do -- spend it and never look back. Now we have a $9.5 trillion debt. Why on earth would we even think of giving these robber barons any more of our money?

I would like to propose my own bailout plan. My suggestions, listed below, are predicated on the singular and simple belief that the rich must pull themselves up by their own platinum bootstraps. Sorry, fellows, but you drilled it into our heads one too many times: There... is... no... free... lunch. And thank you for encouraging us to hate people on welfare! So, there will be no handouts from us to you. The Senate, tonight, is going to try to rush their version of a "bailout" bill to a vote. They must be stopped. We did it on Monday with the House, and we can do it again today with the Senate.

It is clear, though, that we cannot simply keep protesting without proposing exactly what it is we think Congress should do. So, after consulting with a number of people smarter than Phil Gramm, here is my proposal, now known as "Mike's Rescue Plan." It has 10 simple, straightforward points. They are:

1. APPOINT A SPECIAL PROSECUTOR TO CRIMINALLY INDICT ANYONE ON WALL STREET WHO KNOWINGLY CONTRIBUTED TO THIS COLLAPSE. Before any new money is expended, Congress must commit, by resolution, to criminally prosecute anyone who had anything to do with the attempted sacking of our economy. This means that anyone who committed insider trading, securities fraud or any action that helped bring about this collapse must go to jail. This Congress must call for a Special Prosecutor who will vigorously go after everyone who created the mess, and anyone else who attempts to scam the public in the future.

2. THE RICH MUST PAY FOR THEIR OWN BAILOUT. They may have to live in 5 houses instead of 7. They may have to drive 9 cars instead of 13. The chef for their mini-terriers may have to be reassigned. But there is no way in hell, after forcing family incomes to go down more than $2,000 dollars during the Bush years, that working people and the middle class are going to fork over one dime to underwrite the next yacht purchase.

If they truly need the $700 billion they say they need, well, here is an easy way they can raise it:

a) Every couple who makes over a million dollars a year and every single taxpayer who makes over $500,000 a year will pay a 10% surcharge tax for five years. (It's the Senator Sanders plan. He's like Colonel Sanders, only he's out to fry the right chickens.) That means the rich will still be paying less income tax than when Carter was president. This will raise a total of $300 billion.

b) Like nearly every other democracy, charge a 0.25% tax on every stock transaction. This will raise more than $200 billion in a year.

c) Because every stockholder is a patriotic American, stockholders will forgo receiving a dividend check for one quarter and instead this money will go the treasury to help pay for the bailout.

d) 25% of major U.S. corporations currently pay NO federal income tax. Federal corporate tax revenues currently amount to 1.7% of the GDP compared to 5% in the 1950s. If we raise the corporate income tax back to the level of the 1950s, that gives us an extra $500 billion.
All of this combined should be enough to end the calamity. The rich will get to keep their mansions and their servants, and our United States government ("COUNTRY FIRST!") will have a little leftover to repair some roads, bridges and schools.

3. BAIL OUT THE PEOPLE LOSING THEIR HOMES, NOT THE PEOPLE WHO WILL BUILD AN EIGHTH HOME. There are 1.3 million homes in foreclosure right now. That is what is at the heart of this problem. So instead of giving the money to the banks as a gift, pay down each of these mortgages by $100,000. Force the banks to renegotiate the mortgage so the homeowner can pay on its current value. To insure that this help does no go to speculators and those who have tried to make money by flipping houses, this bailout is only for people's primary residence. And in return for the $100K paydown on the existing mortgage, the government gets to share in the holding of the mortgage so that it can get some of its money back. Thus, the total initial cost of fixing the mortgage crisis at its roots (instead of with the greedy lenders) is $150 billion, not $700 billion.

And let's set the record straight. People who have defaulted on their mortgages are not "bad risks." They are our fellow Americans, and all they wanted was what we all want and most of us still get: a home to call their own. But during the Bush years, millions of them lost the decent paying jobs they had. Six million fell into poverty. Seven million lost their health insurance. And every one of them saw their real wages go down by $2,000. Those who dare to look down on these Americans who got hit with one bad break after another should be ashamed. We are a better, stronger, safer and happier society when all of our citizens can afford to live in a home that they own.

4. IF YOUR BANK OR COMPANY GETS ANY OF OUR MONEY IN A "BAILOUT," THEN WE OWN YOU. Sorry, that's how it's done. If the bank gives me money so I can buy a house, the bank "owns" that house until I pay it all back -- with interest. Same deal for Wall Street. Whatever money you need to stay afloat, if our government considers you a safe risk -- and necessary for the good of the country -- then you can get a loan, but we will own you. If you default, we will sell you. This is how the Swedish government did it and it worked.

5. ALL REGULATIONS MUST BE RESTORED. THE REAGAN REVOLUTION IS DEAD. This catastrophe happened because we let the fox have the keys to the henhouse. In 1999, Phil Gramm authored a bill to remove all the regulations that governed Wall Street and our banking system. The bill passed and Clinton signed it. Here's what Sen. Phil Gramm, McCain's chief economic advisor, said at the bill signing:

"In the 1930s ... it was believed that government was the answer. It was believed that stability and growth came from government overriding the functioning of free markets.

"We are here today to repeal [that] because we have learned that government is not the answer. We have learned that freedom and competition are the answers. We have learned that we promote economic growth and we promote stability by having competition and freedom.

"I am proud to be here because this is an important bill; it is a deregulatory bill. I believe that that is the wave of the future, and I am awfully proud to have been a part of making it a reality."
This bill must be repealed. Bill Clinton can help by leading the effort for the repeal of the Gramm bill and the reinstating of even tougher regulations regarding our financial institutions. And when they're done with that, they can restore the regulations for the airlines, the inspection of our food, the oil industry, OSHA, and every other entity that affects our daily lives. All oversight provisions for any "bailout" must have enforcement monies attached to them and criminal penalties for all offenders.

6. IF IT'S TOO BIG TO FAIL, THEN THAT MEANS IT'S TOO BIG TO EXIST. Allowing the creation of these mega-mergers and not enforcing the monopoly and anti-trust laws has allowed a number of financial institutions and corporations to become so large, the very thought of their collapse means an even bigger collapse across the entire economy. No one or two companies should have this kind of power. The so-called "economic Pearl Harbor" can't happen when you have hundreds -- thousands -- of institutions where people have their money. When you have a dozen auto companies, if one goes belly-up, we don't face a national disaster. If you have three separately-owned daily newspapers in your town, then one media company can't call all the shots (I know... What am I thinking?! Who reads a paper anymore? Sure glad all those mergers and buyouts left us with a strong and free press!). Laws must be enacted to prevent companies from being so large and dominant that with one slingshot to the eye, the giant falls and dies. And no institution should be allowed to set up money schemes that no one can understand. If you can't explain it in two sentences, you shouldn't be taking anyone's money.

7. NO EXECUTIVE SHOULD BE PAID MORE THAN 40 TIMES THEIR AVERAGE EMPLOYEE, AND NO EXECUTIVE SHOULD RECEIVE ANY KIND OF "PARACHUTE" OTHER THAN THE VERY GENEROUS SALARY HE OR SHE MADE WHILE WORKING FOR THE COMPANY. In 1980, the average American CEO made 45 times what their employees made. By 2003, they were making 254 times what their workers made. After 8 years of Bush, they now make over 400 times what their average employee makes. How this can happen at publicly held companies is beyond reason. In Britain, the average CEO makes 28 times what their average employee makes. In Japan, it's only 17 times! The last I heard, the CEO of Toyota was living the high life in Tokyo. How does he do it on so little money? Seriously, this is an outrage. We have created the mess we're in by letting the people at the top become bloated beyond belief with millions of dollars. This has to stop. Not only should no executive who receives help out of this mess profit from it, but any executive who was in charge of running his company into the ground should be fired before the company receives any help.

8. STRENGTHEN THE FDIC AND MAKE IT A MODEL FOR PROTECTING NOT ONLY PEOPLE'S SAVINGS, BUT ALSO THEIR PENSIONS AND THEIR HOMES. Obama was correct yesterday to propose expanding FDIC protection of people's savings in their banks to $250,000. But this same sort of government insurance must be given to our nation's pension funds. People should never have to worry about whether or not the money they've put away for their old age will be there. This will mean strict government oversight of companies who manage their employees' funds -- or perhaps it means that the companies will have to turn over those funds and their management to the government. People's private retirement funds must also be protected, but perhaps it's time to consider not having one's retirement invested in the casino known as the stock market. Our government should have a solemn duty to guarantee that no one who grows old in this country has to worry about ending up destitute.

9. EVERYBODY NEEDS TO TAKE A DEEP BREATH, CALM DOWN, AND NOT LET FEAR RULE THE DAY. Turn off the TV! We are not in the Second Great Depression. The sky is not falling. Pundits and politicians are lying to us so fast and furious it's hard not to be affected by all the fear mongering. Even I, yesterday, wrote to you and repeated what I heard on the news, that the Dow had the biggest one day drop in its history. Well, that's true in terms of points, but its 7% drop came nowhere close to Black Monday in 1987 when the stock market in one day lost 23% of its value. In the '80s, 3,000 banks closed, but America didn't go out of business. These institutions have always had their ups and downs and eventually it works out. It has to, because the rich do not like their wealth being disrupted! They have a vested interest in calming things down and getting back into the Jacuzzi.

As crazy as things are right now, tens of thousands of people got a car loan this week. Thousands went to the bank and got a mortgage to buy a home. Students just back to college found banks more than happy to put them into hock for the next 15 years with a student loan. Life has gone on. Not a single person has lost any of their money if it's in a bank or a treasury note or a CD. And the most amazing thing is that the American public hasn't bought the scare campaign. The citizens didn't blink, and instead told Congress to take that bailout and shove it. THAT was impressive. Why didn't the population succumb to the fright-filled warnings from their president and his cronies? Well, you can only say 'Saddam has da bomb' so many times before the people realize you're a lying sack of shite. After eight long years, the nation is worn out and simply can't take it any longer.

10. CREATE A NATIONAL BANK, A "PEOPLE'S BANK." If we really are itching to print up a trillion dollars, instead of giving it to a few rich people, why don't we give it to ourselves? Now that we own Freddie and Fannie, why not set up a people's bank? One that can provide low-interest loans for all sorts of people who want to own a home, start a small business, go to school, come up with the cure for cancer or create the next great invention. And now that we own AIG, the country's largest insurance company, let's take the next step and provide health insurance for everyone. Medicare for all. It will save us so much money in the long run. And we won't be 12th on the life expectancy list. We'll be able to have a longer life, enjoying our government-protected pension, and living to see the day when the corporate criminals who caused so much misery are let out of prison so that we can help reacclimate them to civilian life -- a life with one nice home and a gas-free car that was invented with help from the People's Bank.

Yours,
Michael Moore

IF THIS DOESN'T PUT A SMILE ON YOUR FACE...

THEN YOU NEED A NEW FACE!

SECRET OF YOUTH!

One day I saw a wonderful old gal sitting on her front step, so I walked up to her and said, 'I couldn't help noticing how happy you look! What is your secret for such a long, happy life?'



'I smoke ten stogies a day,' she said. 'Before I go to bed, I smoke a nice big joint. All my life I've eaten only junk food, and I put away at least a fifth of Jack Daniels every week. On weekends I pop pills, and never do any exercise at all.'
Absolutely, absolutely amazing, I thought, and asked, 'How old are you?' 'Twenty-four,' she replied.

WHAT DO YOU CALL THIS?

A HILL-BILLY!

AMERICAN IDLE BY EMPULSE