GAS: IT'S AMERICA'S CRACK

THE GONG SHOW: HAVE YOU GOT NICKEL?

INSANE! And check out the judges! Phyllis Diller in glamour drag, the drag queen from M.A.S.H. and J. P. Morgan. I used to think Chuck Barris was so sexy! He always looked stoned.



AND HERE'S GENE GENT THE DANCIN' MACHINE AND HIS GLORIOUS DANCIN' THEME!

NOW THIS SHIT IS ART!

INAUGURAL PHOTO HIGH RES

Am i a fool--don't answer that--or is this fascinating? I kinda missed out on the video games craze, but I spent 10 minutes checking out Obama's audience so maybe you'll enjoy this email forward too. Some of the winter inaugural fashions and facial expressions are quite interesting. To this fool, anyway.

Zoom in ('double-click' an area) ....and watch it focus.

Then zoom some more... and wait for focus. Once you get used to using the zoom and moving the photo up or down........left or right. You can see who is watching whom. This is quite a surveillance tool.

GIGAPAN

VAGINAL SHOTS?

No, it's not the latest menu addition at Hooters, it's what Suzanne Somers administers to herself as part of her health and beauty regime, along with hormones and 60 pills a day! Read more at HUFFPO. She may still look as ditzy as her Chrissie on THREE'S COMPANY, but she's parlayed that one hit role into a lucrative if questionable position as a health and diet expert, hawking a variety of merchandise which she admits is geared to the housewives in middle America. Here's how Suzanne describes her target audience: "“They look like my mother. I grew up with these women. And I think they sense it. This is my mission in America. It’s not the coasts. It’s not the super-hip people." Yeah, because the coasts and the super-hip aren't stupid enough to fondly reminisce about the one hit role you had and be conned by you! I guess these gals have never seen a sex change, because Suzanne's real beauty secret is constant plastic surgery, some of which she even admits to. If there were on more transsexuals in these areas, these housewives might recognize that unmistakeable trout pout.

More from Suzanne on her followers:

“That picture is so telling to me. I know that they think about the prices of everything. I know that they don’t get the kind of attention from their husbands that they want. I give it to them… . I’ve been told I’m the best friend they’ve ever had. I get it. I just think I speak for them and I give them hope. That you can look good, feel good, have energy, have fun, be in love, have a family, have a great time with your family.”

Now while ludicrous to claim that she's giving women attention that they don't get from their spouses (if they pay) it is somewhat true that many women DON'T feel that they have a right to "feel good, have energy, have fun, be in love, have a family", etc. That's sad. But it's even sadder to pinpoint it and hijack their emotions in order to sell a device which delivers electronic pulses to your face to supposedly restore your youth. And claim that you are giving them attention while ripping them off! I'm not saying that all of Suzanne's diets and devices are crap and she does look good for her age, but isn't this kind of despicable? I guess it's not that different from what anyone else is doing, though.

SOMEONE SHOULD TELL SUZANNE THAT THIS HORRIBLE BLUSH IS NOT A FOUNTAIN OF YOUTH.



AND HERE'S A FASCINATING ARTICLE ON THE PERKY SNAKE OIL SALESMAN FROM THE LA TIMES.

THE UNSINKABLE SUZANNE SOMERS.

Somers continued virtually without pause for about 40 minutes, and then I stopped her. The point of this profile, I said, was to get to know the real Suzanne Somers, her world, her life, her personality. She nodded vigorously, taking it in.

“Got it,” she said.

Then Somers began again. There was no hesitation. No apparent contemplation. Somers knew where to take this. She recalled a lecture she had delivered in 2004 at Ernst & Young’s Entrepreneur of the Year awards in Palm Springs. Somers explained that she never speaks with notes, but rather devises an opening line and a thread of an idea and then knows where she’ll end up. At this lecture, however, the idea didn’t hit her until she was in the wings.

“Then it came to me,” she said. “I sell my problems. I’m a woman with problems. I’ve had problems since the day I was born. And I have found a way to turn my problems into assets.”

And then Somers told a story that could wring tears from the most committed cynic. It took place in the early 1960s, in her hometown of San Bruno, the night before her first prom. It was the time, as Somers remembers it, that she thought she’d killed her alcoholic father. She spoke as if onstage, giving each detail a dramatic flourish.

MORE: LA TIMES

CAN YOU SIGN?

We're into our second week of President Obama's new administration and are already seeing signs of change. Yet many activists want to make sure we as a nation don't forget the possible crimes committed under the last administration in the name of the "war on terror." That's why we're sharing with you this action alert from our friends at Democrats.com. Sign their petition to call on our new Attorney General Eric Holder to appoint a special prosecutor to investigate and prosecute any and all government officials who have participated in torture and other war crimes. Thanks!

Now is our time to pursue truth and justice. Please join us in calling on Attorney General Eric Holder to appoint a Special Prosecutor to investigate and prosecute any and all government officials who have participated in torture and other war crimes.
In the final days of their administration, President Bush and Vice President Cheney admitted they authorized "enhanced interrogation" of prisoners, specifically including waterboarding. But "enhanced interrogation" is simply a euphemism for torture, which was so severe that it caused the deaths of at least 70 prisoners.

Please sign our petition calling for a Special Prosecutor now»
As Major General Antonio Taguba, the Army general who led the investigation into prisoner abuse at Iraq's Abu Ghraib prison has stated:

"After years of disclosures by government investigations, media accounts and reports from human rights organizations, there is no longer any doubt as to whether the current administration has committed war crimes. The only question that remains to be answered is whether those who ordered the use of torture will be held to account."
The United States is a representative democracy. The actions of our government officials are done in the name of its citizens. We are outraged that torture been committed in our name. Join us in urging Attorney General Holder to appoint a Special Prosecutor to prosecute those responsible for torture to the fullest extent of the law.

SIGN PETITON

MY COMMENT:

If our tax dollars are spent on murdering the residents of a country which never had WMDs and which never attacked us, then the American citizens who sat back and did nothing are also murderers. Bush attacked our country as well and I want him and his cronies to answer for it. Again and again he tested us to see if we were paying attention. We weren't, but hopefully our active involvement in government has not ended with Obama's election. It is crucial for future administrations and generations to know that we care about crimes done in our name and that we respect our own laws enough to we demand punishment when they're broken.

ANITA BRYANT T-SHIRTS

After her cameo in MILK, the homophobic OJ Queen is back--with a face full of pie! By James Anthony, priced at $25.



MORE INFO: QUEERSITED

BOBBIE GENTRY, BING CROSBY AND TINY TIM???

WHAT A BIZARRE TRIO, BUT BOBBIE IS COUNTRY MUSIC'S SULTRIEST GODDESS! SHE'S BEST KNOWN FOR ODE TO BILLIE JOE AND FANCY, WHICH REBA MCINTYRE COVERED, BUT HER SONGWRITING AND PRODUCTION SKILLS ARE UNIQUE. THOSE MILLION $ HORN ARRANGEMENTS MAKEKE HER MUSIC SOUND MORE LIKE R & B THAN COUTRY, BUT IT'S STILL TANGY!



OKOLONA RIVER BOTTOM BAND



A CAJUN BOBBIE SINGS NIKI HOEKEY WITH DANCERS!



ONE OF MY FAVS, TOUCH 'EM WITH LOVE--ABOUT DEATH! COUNTRY GOSPEL AT IS BEST! AND SHE'S SINGING LIVE!

LUCILLE BOGAN: SHAVE 'EM DRY

VINTAGE FILTH (AUDIO) FROM 1937:

V V BROWN AND THE "NEW" SOUL SOUND

IS SHE POP'S NEXT SUPERSTAR OR WHAT?

Tall, gorgeous, stylish, quirky, and talented, British songstress and Island Records artist V V Brown is on her way. I love this re-burst of Amy WInehouse-influenced soul with spooky cord changes and a 60's funky beat. I'm just so through with electro that musically, I don't care where we go from here as long as it's not minimal 80's snoozefest! Maybe we're headed back to the funky drummer sound which almost every record sampled some variation of in the 80's. Then we can ride that early 90's Crystal Waters/Ultra Nate/Deee-Lite/Steve "Silk" Hurley vibe for half a decade. And then we can skip back o the 5th disco revival and by the time that's over, Lady Bunion can hang up her dancing shoes happy.

L.E.A.V.E.



CRYING BLOOD



Solange Knowles' Motown-inspired hit I DECIDED features Supremes looks and girl group choreography in the video with a...rebel flag? I didn't want to like Solange because the last thing we need is another Beyonce, but this song is undeniably cute. And a song that starts with the lyric "I was a little different" is a wise choice for a little sis trying to get out from under her big sister's shadow. Unfortunately, I can't embed the actual music video because of Solange's record company disables embedding. Why? The music industry was already failing before the recession and they don't want to promote their music?

I love the stops in this songs and Solange thankfully hits most of them like a drag queen. Some of her moves like that go-go monkey at the beginning look forced but I love her little twirl at the end. It's odd that the lead doesn't really sing much during the chorus, but when she finally does in the next to the last chorus, she tries to do that nasally Beyonce whining and then wisely drops it for the very last round.

This clip includes a brief interview in which Solange claims what EVERY artist says about every single album they do--that her latest offering is more personal and reflects what is going on in their lives. BULLSHIT! It would really earn my respect if some artist would just tell the truth and say "My last album didn't sell so we did some market research and came back with what you clueless fuckers wanted to hear and then gave it to you! Hit it!".

Something about this cut sounded familiar and I just clicked it--the pre-chorus is very similar to the pre-chorus in Sylvia's sexy seventies hit PILLOW TALK--do you hear it? "So boy just put that stop sign down", etc.

I DECIDED



Another 60's sound I love is the insanely catchy YOUNG FOLKS, by Peter, Bjorn and John. Every time I play this when dj'ing people ask me what the track is. The drum fill at the beginning is such an energetic wake-up and that whistle melody is irresistible! This video is so cute, too. I love that the animators chose this dated CLUTCH CARGO-style animation where the facial expressions of the characters don't change--only their mouths do! And the thought bubble that pops up with the words "It's a hit!" is genius. Adorable video and the color scheme of muted orange, yellows and blues is insane.

YOUNG FOLKS



Another new track I like it from Hed Kandi's new dance compilation. I don't care for the lyrics, but love the vocal arrangements and groove.

BRAND NU BY SOOPASOUL:

GRACE JONES SIGHTING

I know I'm obsessed,but nothing like putting a little Grace in your face!

MEXICAN BREAKFAST, HELPFULLY EXPLAINED

First I posted Gwen Verdon's dance routine a-go-go called Mexican Breakfast. Then the video went viral when someone edited the original together with the hip-hop smash WALK IT OUT. Now someone's added cute subtitles to the original, breathing new life to this classic. Enjoy!

GRANNY SUPERSTAR!

GRANNY FROM THE BEVERLY HILLILLIES SINGS--IN A LONG BLONDE WIG AND FISHTAIL GOWN! HEAVENLY! MAKE SURE TO WATCH IT FULL SCREEN CUZ IT'S TAPED GHETTO STYLE OFF THE TV.

ENEMA PAINTING

FROM CRAIGS LIST:

Painting - 26 (Woodley)

Reply to: pers-1009102894@craigslist.org [?]
Date: 2009-01-26, 9:33PM EST


I'm a 26-year old painter who just moved to town. I'm looking for other in-shape guys interested in enema painting. This is my picture. Please have pictures in first email. Serious only please.



Location: Woodley
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: 1009102894

JUST PLAIN RETARDED!

GREG SCARNICI AS ARETHA!

LEECHES IN TURMERIC SAUCE, ANYONE?

In India, leeches are still used for blood purification. And because the parasites are thought to remove toxins from the blood, after the feating, the leech is dusted with turmeric to make them vomit, captured here on video. As if the footage of sucking blood wasn't vile enough!




And speaking of loathesome things you can't get out of your system, Huffington Post featured an interesting article about the political practice of "burrowing", when a senior employee of an agency will take a lesser position when the presidency changes hands in order to keep the departing party's agenda alive. This disgusting creature was a Bush appointee who debunks global warming in the interest of big business and just switched to a less prestigious post at the National Science Foundation. Truly vile!

HERE'S AN EXCERPT:

The Bush's administration's participation in the personnel tactic known as "burrowing" has been well-reported in recent weeks. The practice isn't unique to the Bush crowd; during presidential transitions, political appointees eager to stay on the government payroll often wriggle their way into secure civil service positions -- despite the differing political beliefs of the White House's new occupant.

ONLY A REPUBLICAN WOULD THINK TO BLEACH THEIR HAIR THAT BLONDE AND WEAR NO EYE MAKE-UP AT ALL FOR THEIR PUBLICITY PORTRAIT! PUKE!



But because the central objective of burrowing is for political appointees to fly under the radar while Washington changes hands, it's often hard to tell when the practice is actually occurring. Consider the case of Kathie Olsen, who just made a very curious move: going from the No. 2 post at the National Science Foundation to the far less influential job of "senior advisor" in the NSF's Office of Information and Resource Management.

As Science magazine observes, Olsen had already submitted her resignation to the Obama administration and would have been out the door had she not slipped into her new, seemingly secure post. And this isn't just any Bush appointee avoiding the need to find a new job -- Olsen was at the forefront of the former president's systematic denial of the human causes of climate change.

Before becoming deputy director of the NSF, Olsen was the associate director of the Bush White House's Office of Science and Technology Policy. Her immediate boss there was Bush science adviser John Marburger, who was implicated in the 2007 censorship of congressional testimony that would have publicly illustrated the human health risks of the warming climate.

Remember Phil Cooney, the once and future oil industry representative who habitually erased from government documents any evidence that fossil fuels cause global warming? It was Olsen who first handed Cooney a debunked, Big-Oil-underwritten study that purported to disprove the existence of climate change. As Rolling Stone reported in 2007:

"It was sham science," says McCarthy, the Harvard scientist. "It's almost laughable, except that this study was held up by the administration as a definitive refutation of the temperature record."

But even as the paper was being discredited, it was causing great excitement in the White House. When Kathie Olsen of the Office of Science and Technology Policy forwarded the study to Cooney, he responded with an enthusiastic, "Thanks, Kathie!" Six minutes later, according to internal e-mails, the study was in the hands of Kevin O'Donovan, who served as Cheney's point man on climate. The study also grabbed President Bush's attention ...

WHOLE ARTICLE: TALKINGPOINTSMEMO.COM


And while googling loathesome for a spell-check, I came across the Buffalo Beast's 50 MOST LOATHESOME PEOPLE IN AMERICA 2008.

43. You

Charges: You think it’s your patriotic duty to spend money you don’t have on crap you don’t need. You think Hillary lost because of sexism, when it’s actually because she’s just a bad liar. You think Iraq is better off now than before we invaded, and don’t understand why they’re so ungrateful. You think Tim Russert was a great journalist. You’re hopping mad about an auto industry bailout that cost a squirt of piss compared to a Wall Street heist of galactic dimensions, due to a housing crash you somehow have blamed on minorities. It took you six years to figure out what a tool Bush is, but you think Obama will make it all better. You deem it hunky dory that we conduct national policy debates via 8-second clips from “The View.” You think God zapped humans into existence a few thousand years ago, although your appendix and wisdom teeth disagree. You like watching vicious assholes insult each other on TV. You support gun rights, because firing one gives you a chubby. You cuddle falsehoods and resent enlightenment. You think the fact that 43% of whites could stomach voting for an incredibly charismatic and eloquent light-skinned black guy who was raised by white people means racism is over. You think progressive taxation is socialism. 1 in 100 of you are in jail, and you think it should be more. You are shallow, inconsiderate, afraid, brand-conscious, sedentary, and totally self-obsessed. You are American.

Exhibit A: You’re more upset by Miley Cyrus’s glamour shots than the fact that you are a grown adult who is upset about Miley Cyrus.

Sentence: Invaded and occupied by Canada; all military units busy overseas without enough fuel to get back.

READ THE OTHER 50 AT BUFFALOBEAST.COM. (Obama is #1.)

OUCH!

GAS MASK REQUIRED!

IN THE LIFE'S BLACK HISTORY MONTH

NEW YORK—IN THE LIFE, the only three-time Emmy nominated public television series documenting the gay experience, celebrates Black History Month in its February show “Mobilizing Hope,” delving into discrimination and marriage equality with New York Governor David Paterson, HIV prevention in the ballroom, and life “on the down-low.”

In its lead-story, “Ballroom 2.0,” IN THE LIFE profiles New Jersey community activist Bernie McAlister and his "House of Jourdan,” part of the gay ball sub-culture that has expanded its social role to include AIDS education/outreach to queer youth. The 1990 documentary “Paris is Burning” revealed the vibrant and decadent ball culture of New York City. In Newark, the ball scene is thriving but with an emphasis on alternative families, safe-sex education, and positive role modeling -- providing direction and hope for LGBT minority youth.

In A CONVERSATION WITH… New York Governor David Paterson and Yale professor, gay activist and cultural historian George Chauncey reflect on the continuing struggle for gay civil rights as longtime vanguards, themselves, against bigotry and discrimination.

VIEW TRAILER:


And in its REAL TO REEL series, IN THE LIFE profiles filmmaker Abigail Child and her film “On The Downlow.” Being gay, “out,” and sexually active is a social conundrum in the black community -- a taboo -- and incompatible with “masculinity.” When men have sex with other men, it must be hidden, covert, on the "down-low." In this film, Child takes a compassionate look at four men leading these double lives, offering a rare window into the allure and tension of this world.

"Mobilizing Hope" begins airing on American Public Television stations Febuary 1st, and will be available for free video streaming and downloadable podcasts from the IN THE LIFE website starting February 2nd. To find out when it will air in their local areas, to stream or download it, viewers should go to www.inthelifetv.org.

FROM "SELMA TO STONEWALL"

I ADDED THIS IMAGE-IT WAS ONE OF THE FIRST FEW PICS WHICH CAME UP IN MY GOOGLE IMAGE SEARCH FOR "GAY"!



PLEASE READ AND SIGN!

Dear Speaker Pelosi:

We the undersigned call on you and your colleagues to mark this 40th Anniversary of the Stonewall Riots and the start of the gay liberation movement by passing legislation to expand the Civil Rights Act of 1964 to declare it the public policy of the United States that discrimination based on LGBT status is prohibited.

For forty years, the LGBT movement has asserted the simple idea that LGBT rights are civil rights. For forty years we have been told to wait our turn and not to rock the boat. But with the election of 2008, we sent a clear message to Washington. Now is our time.

As Michelle Obama said on Gay Pride Day last year, "We are all only here because of those who marched and bled and died, from Selma to Stonewall, in the pursuit of a more perfect union." We stand united in that struggle and will not accept any effort to roll back the protections of the Civil Rights Act. But we must insist that they be expanded in order for the Act to truly live up to its name.

Because you represent Harvey Milk's district, the Castro neighborhood of San Francisco, the nexus of the LGBT community on the West Coast, you have a special role to play in defending and protecting the civil rights of LGBT people everywhere. We hope that you will fulfill that role by passing this legislation.

And to those who say we can't have equal rights now, we say "Yes we can!"

SIGN HERE: IPETITIONS

TSHIRT HELL IS CLOSING FEB 10TH

So it's your last chance to get demneted tees like these--and at 10% off!

LIBERACE AND PHYLLIS DILLER!

TED HAGGARDS BACK!

THE METH AND HUSTLER-USING FUNDAMENTALIST PREACHER (AND BUSH'S FORMER SPIRITUAL ADVISOR) IS BACK IN THE NEWS AS ANOTHER OF HIS GAY RELATIONSHIPS HITS THE FAN. THIS ONE WASN'T A HUSTLER, BUT A VOLUNTEER AT TED'S CHURCH. (But Ted still payed him.)

MORE: QUEERTY

ALSO OF INTEREST ON QUEERTY.COM:

Kanye West responds to gay rumors with a post. Now Kanye has denounced homophobia in rap and he really zinged Bush with that "George Bush doesn't care about black people" which he snuck past network censors after Katrina, so he has my respect. But bless him! He's notoriously self-aggrandizing and his statement begins with "WHY CAN'T YOU LET ME BE GREAT?". He then goes on to say that these rumors are spoiling his dream gig of designing a pair of shoes with Louis Vuitton, whose name he misspells!

MORE: QUEERTY.COM

JAPANESE BLACKFACE

FROM DINA MARTINA, WHO DOES A MEAN LOUIE ARMSTRONG IMPERSONATION HERSELF. THIS IS AN ACID TRIP ON STEROIDS!

GRACE JONES IN V MAG

AND SHE'S INTERVIEWED BY HER FORMER LOVER/COLLABORATOR JEAN-PAUL GOUDE. HERE'S A SNIPPET:

JPG Do you always hide your emotions?

GJ I always had to mask my emotions. I could never show that I missed my mom or my dad, especially when they moved to America. My grandparents were tough. I was not allowed to receive letters that had not been read before. Everything was controlled, everything!

JPG Would you say that your rebellion towards your family’s authority extended to your relationship with the men in your life?
GJ I think so, yes. And I think that is what contributed to my masculinization. I deliberately challenged men’s roles. In fact, I survived by taking on both roles. By the way, I also think that men need to be penetrated.

JPG I beg your pardon?

GJ At least once in their lifetime.

JPG Why?

GJ Because then they would understand what it is like to receive. It’s my own theory, which I think could help take some of the aggression out of the world.

MORE: VMAGAZINE

FROM GRACE'S A ONE MAN SHOW:

YOU JUST GOT PATTI LUPONED!

THE BROADWAY DIVA WENT OFF (MID-NUMBER) AT A GYPSY AUDIENCE MEMBER WH WAS TAKING PHOTOGRAPHS. I RAVED OVER THE SHOW AND WOULD HATE FOR PATTI TO BE REMEMBERED PRIMARILY FOR HER FREAK-OUT RATHER THAN HER TERRIFIC PERFORMANCE, BUT SOME CLEVER FELLOW WAS RECORDING THE AUDIO THAT EVENING--AND HE'S ALREADY SAMPLED IT AND TURNED IT INTO A BARBRA STREISAND'S SHUT THE FUCK -STYLE REMIX. IT IS CLEVER AND TWISTED. NOTHING QUITE LIKE A RAPPING SHOW TUNE QUEEN!

CONNIE STEVENS AT THE PALACE

WHAT AN INSANE OUTFIT! AND IT'S SO WEIRD WHEN THE SHOW-BIZZY GALS LIKE BASSEY, MITZI AND LIZA "GET FUNKY" TO THOSE CRAZY SOUL/POP SOUNDS!



I'M NOT TRYING TO SHAVE YEARS OFF OF MY AGE, BUT ALTHOUGH SHE HAS A LOVELY VOICE, I NEVER REMEMBERED CONNIE STEVENS AS A SINGER, OR WITH SHORT HAIR.



AND WHILE PLAYING AROUND ON YOUTUBE, I DISCOVERED JOANIE SOMMERS, WHO I DEFINITELY DON'T RECALL EVER SEEING. THOSE DANCERS!

TRANSIENT TRANNY

AN UPDATE VIDEO FROM AN EXTREMELY DULL TRANSSEXUAL WHO IS TRANSITIONING. OH, AND MOVING TO CONNECTICUTT FROM OKLAHOMA CITY. I DARE YOU TO MAKE IT THROUGH THE WHOLE THING!

FROMPOPBITCH.COM

The most powerful politician in the world is black.

The best golfer in the world is black.

The fastest racing driver in the world is black...


Michael Jackson must be kicking himself.

THROWING SHOES AT AN INFLATABLE BUSH

Now I know that even wishing harm on a sitting president can be considered treason, but after he'd officially left office, did anyone kinda hope that his helicopter might burst into flames? I don't think that throwing shoes at Bush's effigy would be illegal, but it shore looks like fun!



AND HERE'S THANK FOR THE MEMORIES, GEORGE BUSH!

I'VE HEARD OF COFFEE ENEMAS...

But never with eggs, bacon and toast!!

XTUBE

SHOPPING INTEXAS

MADGE BASHING ON QUEERTY.COM

I remember a couple of years ago I wrote a lengthy blog with some negative things to say about Madonna. That post got more responses than anything else I'd ever written. A couple of years later, Queerty.com writes an "open letter" urging the Material Girl to age gracefully and stop the unflattering surgeries. The comments are bizarre--from "She'll always be the the queen and she's never had any surgery" to "I'm over her and her music". I actually like her latest album more than any other--SHE'S NOT ME has a Paradise Garage feeling to it and I love THE BEAT GOES ON. I'm certainly not averse to plastic surgery either, but stars do tend to get carried away. Her cheek implants are odd and while she still has beautiful eyes, she is heading into Madame the puppet territory with the high cheekbones and her nose is starting to meet her chin--kind of a witchy look which comes from her genes and is emphasized by being thin. It's as if her face didn't need another strong angle which she just gave it with the sharp cheek implants. It's crazy to claim as some have, that she's had nothing done. Remember that time she fell off a horse and "broke her collar bone"? And then went on a rigorous world tour with lotsa dancing shortly a month or two later? I'm not a doctor but I think a break like that would take a while to set, especially on over age 40 bones.

Anyhoo, here's the link, and be sure to check out the comments--it's a top priority issue for gay men!

HERE'S A FEW EXCEPTS OF COMMENTS:

Her plastic surgeries are what disappoint me most. All the way back to "Vogue" she was starting to have work done, and it took away my belief that her confidence and chutzpah were a force of nature. It saddens me to see her riddled with the same human insecurities we mortals have, she is supposed to be a goddess!

"Look, we're the gays, your biggest fans, we're with you no matter what you do."
Speak for yourself, fool.

A simple " Your music has sucked for the last 15 years would've sufficed".

Madonna is NOT Gay-friendly (anti Gay Marriage)
Cher is GAY Friendly (has always been)

Her madgesty seems to be on her way to looking like a bad fast-lifted newsreader on CNN!
Things not in her favor:

Italian women do not age well. Guy Richie discovered that!

Her jogger's face syndrome has an aging gravitational pull

Her legs on "Confessions" looked like your Grandmas

Mae West was prettier at her age.

Emulate women who age well and stop trying to look as young as Natasha Bedingfield because everyone is laughing AT you.
You come across as desperately needing Britney to hitch your Vegas-bound 80s act to when you were more believable with friends like Rosie O'Donnell and Sandra Bernhard who were your age group.

Drop the fake British affectations as we still know you were trailer trash from Detroit who discovered Hollywood-God
Get a hot Spanish lover (what you always wanted) and live life a little unkept (Hippy chicks get tha Dicks!)

BUNNY NOTE: Amen to that! I think the time I Madonna inspired me the most was when I'd hear rumors that she used to ride around my old Loisaida neghborhood offering a "ride" to latino studs who were over 8 inches! Now THAT is a diva I can identify with!

ARETHA'S HAT

DEBBIE HARRY WITH THE MAO MAGAZINE FOUNDERS--HOLDING AN ADVANCE COPY OF THE STEPHEN SPROUSE BOOK.



Frequent commenter Mitzi asked me what I thought of Aretha's headgear at the inauguratin, where she serendaded the massive crowd with MY COUNTRY 'TIS OF THEE. I love Aretha's voice so much, but the dear has never exactly been a style icon, has she? Many have scoffed at the hat, but since I'd seen Debbie Harry at an Xmas party wearing a similar chapeau, I guess I wasn't s shocked by it. I actually thought that while churchy-looking, grey with rhinestones is interesting for day and at least it matched her coat. The coat had a nice cut which raised up in front to form a collar of sorts which obscured girlfriend's chins. Gonna have to get one of those for myself! I must say that while I don't like winter scarves for myself, Barbara Bush taught me a lesson in corrective dressing--the Barney Rubble-looking thing wore a wide scarf in a contrasting color to her coat at the inaugural, effectively cutting her girth with a bold stripe down the middle. It's the old Mae West trick.

THE QUEEN OF SOUL RARELY GETS HER LOOK TOGETHER, BIT I'VE SEEN HER IN WORSE!



The Queen of Soul hates performing in the cold since it affects her voice. In fact, try to catch her act in the fall or winter, because she won't go on in an air conditioned venue. A friend in DC who was present claimed that they were "wincing" at every note. (I wouldn't go that far.) It wasn't her best performance and as this clip shows, and she feels it didn't live up to her standards either. What I think is outrageous is that she appears on Larry King the day after appearing in a hat and short wig--IN A FRESH OUT OF THE BOX LONG, GIRLISH WIG. Almost every gal wears some kind of artificial hair in show business, and I'm certainly a fan of the wig, but is't it bizarre that Aretha would choose one hair color, length and texture at the inaugural and then a completely different one the next night??? Bless her tacky heart!

TALKING DIRTY WITH LADY BUNNY

BUNNY TOPS PORN IMPRESARIO MICHAEL LUCAS



PORN SITE THESWORD.COM CHATS WITH ME ABOUT PORN WITH SOME FUN (IR SICK) LNKS.

They asked me about my favorite gross out porn on the web and naturally I mentioned 2 GIRLS 1 CUP and it's equally vile companion piece, 1 GUY 1 CUP, which I posted a while back but the video was quickly taken down. DO NOT EAT BEFORE WATCHING! Even this porn site found it hard to take! They also didn't use this pic of Michael Lucas and I on the set of his porn flick, BROTHER'S REUNION, in which I made a cameo.



HERE'S THE LINK TO THE ARTICLE: THESWORD.COM

WAS I RIGHT OR WAS I RIGHT?

A NUDE OBAMA TWEAKING THE NIPPLES OF THE HUDSON FLIGHT'S PILOT!



Gays were so quick to jump on Obama for giving homophobic pastor Rick Warren a spot at the inaugural ceremony. I was quick to point out that Obama hadn't thrown us under the bus, the bus hadn't even left the garage yet. Cut him some slack. And I've illustrated this article with some homo-erotic Obam-art, including

FROM THE FLORIDA BLADE:

Within hours of taking office, Obama releases agenda for GLBT rights By Dan Renzi

As the community questioned why Obama chose Rev. Rick Warren to speak at the inaugration—seemingly in conflict with his previous support of the gay community, as Warren is a noted homophobe—we thought it might have been a consolation to the religious right, in preparation for Obama's plans for GLBT equality.

It seems our little hypothesis may be correct: within hours of taking the oath of office, Obama's team revamped the White House web site, amending the "Agenda" section on "Civil Rights." Take a look at THIS—the passage of the Matthew Shepard Act, full civil unions (are we really going to freak out about what it's called, if it is legally the same? please don't!) and promote HIV/AIDS prevention, which has been depressingly absent during the "abstinence-only" years of President Bush.



"While we have come a long way since the Stonewall riots in 1969, we still have a lot of work to do. Too often, the issue of LGBT rights is exploited by those seeking to divide us. But at its core, this issue is about who we are as Americans. It's about whether this nation is going to live up to its founding promise of equality by treating all its citizens with dignity and respect."

MORE: SOUTHFLORIDABLADE


WAS I RIGHT OR WAS I RIGHT PART 2: CAROLINE KENNEDY WITHDRAWS HER SENATORIAL BID:



Caroline seems nice and smart. But she also seemed to have no vision other than "milk my family connections". I don't think that this impoverished country is in the mood for nobility. We need workers with proven track records in public service. Although there were hints of improprieties regarding her maid's legal status and her tax records, Caroline claims that she has withdrawn from the race because of Ted's illness. Her spokesperson has said that anyone offering a different reason for her withdrawal--ie the public outcry against he possible selection--is "mudslinging". Call it what you want, honey, but if it's the truth, I'll gladly sling it.

SOPHIA MCINTOSH

I'm hoping to catch this crazy thing performing while I'm here in Atlanta. Sophia is perhaps best know for hosting drag pageants nationwide, but she lives here. What a kook!





This contains snippets of her regular radio show on V-103, GIRL TALK.

PUTTING WORDS IN OBAMA'S MOUTH

The inaugural speech was written in Starbucks by this 27-year old!



In composing the high notes of the speech, Obama has leant on Favreau, whom he discovered almost by chance four years ago when the younger man was working on John Kerry's failed presidential bid. "Favs" has since studied Obama's speech patterns and cadences with the intensity of a stalker. He memorised the 2004 speech to the Democratic national convention which first brought Obama into the limelight. He is said to carry Obama's autobiography, Dreams From My Father, wherever he goes. As a result, last November when Favreau sat down to write the first draft of the inaugural address, he could conjure up his master's voice as if an accomplished impersonator.

MORE: GUARDIAN

FUCK SUNDANCE!

There's mormon film festival in Utah! What might they screen there?

Here's a clip from GOD'S ARMY. Don't hate me for posting this--there is one good joke in it!



MORE: POPEATER.COM

SOUNDS GOOD ENOUGH TO EAT!

I've thoroughly enjoyed the Hed Kandi dance compilations over the years. Now the label is opening a restaurant in South Beach featuring "molecular food", which publicist Tara Solomon describes as "surreal, molecular cuisine (think bruscetta in the shape of a pill!)". What's not to like? I love dance music, food and pills!

SPOT WHICH PIC IS A FAKE!

(I THOUGHT IT WAS THE CAT, TOO!)

"COLORFUL COSTUMES AND CLOWN MAKE-UP"

VIA TOWLEROAD:



MORE: TOWLEROAD.COM

JOEY HEATHERTON: I'VE GOT YOUR NUMBER

FROM LYPSINKA:



ANOTHER GEM FROM THE LYP. IT'S ALL ABOUT THE ASIAN (?) DANCER ON THE LEFT WITH THE BOW! SWING THAT PONYTAIL, HONEY!

MICHELLE AND BARACK DO WHAT TOGETHER?

HEE HEE!

ARE DRAG QUEENS THE NEW SUPERMODELS?

M. A. C Cosmetics has teamed up with Dame Edna (comedian Barry Humphries' blue-haired alter ego) for a limited-edition makeup collection: Mauve compacts are embossed with the Dame's trademark red spectacles and contain products such as What a Dame highlight powder and Royal Tour eyeshadow. Not to be outdone, former M. A. C collaborator RuPaul is back in the spotlight with the new reality series RuPaul's Drag Race (it debuts next month), and Lady Bunny, arguably New York's premiere drag queen, made a surprise appearance at a recent Shiseido makeup event in New York for the new lipstick range by celebrity makeup artist Dick Page. Dave Lackie was there and asked Lady Bunny to spill a few beauty secrets.

On picking just the right shade of her signature bright orange lipstick

"Women with thin lips should never wear dark colours. It makes them look like grim snapping turtles. I myself have always loved orange lips, but it was always so hard to get the right shade -- I used to have to mix lipsticks. Now I stick with Shiseido's Day Lily."

On keeping fit

"I spend an hour on the treadmill each day. Sometimes I turn it on for the last five minutes. I've even been known to place a cheeseburger on the console to keep myself motivated."

MORE: EDMONTONJOURNAL

BUSH BOOED

I'm in Atlanta and don't get CNN so I only just saw this footage from MSNBC. I was wondering if our sitting president would get this reaction, but CNN switched their audio feeds back and forth really awkwardly--and I'm no sound engineer so if I can detect it then it's glaring--from the crowd's audio feed to the insane brass fanfares.

I hate CNN now and wince every time they mention joining them on CNN.com, even suggesting that we watch the election on our computers so we can chat with our friends on facebook.com! And Larry King urging people to connect with hi via twitter.com.

Speaking of old, it was heaven to see Cheney and Bush, Sr. literally as crippled as their party-as an exotic mixed race president named Hussein proudly marched the ailing good ol' boys.

LETTERMAN'S TOP 10 BUSH BLOOPERS

VIA HUFFPO:

SERVICE HAS BEEN RESTORED

Dear World:

We, the United States of America , your top quality supplier of the ideals
of liberty and democracy, would like to apologize for our 2001-2008
interruption in service. The technical fault (known as the "Dabush" virus)
that led to this eight-year service outage has been located, and the
software responsible was replaced November 4. Early tests of the newly
installed program indicate that we are now operating correctly, and we
expect it to be fully functional today, January 20. We apologize for any
inconvenience caused by the outage. We look forward to resuming full service
and hope to improve in years to come. We thank you for your patience and
understanding,

Sincerely,

THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA

OBAMA'S 1ST BIG MISTAKE

OK, I don't want to take anything away from the historic inaugural ceremony which swore in our first African-American president. But I spotted a big problem at that inaugural ceremony.

It wasn't the Supreme Court justice's flubbing of the oath.

It wasn't that dreadfully dull poem.

It wasn't Pastor Rick Warren's immediate turn-off line of some shit like "We thank thee oh lord for all of the things we can and cannot see"?

It wasn't even Barack.



It was Michelle--and that horrible dress! Am I shallow to even mention it when I should be focused on the significance of a black president about to enter the White House, which was built on the backs of slaves, ending Bush's 8-year reign of error which left this country in tatters?

Probably, but where else are you gonna read this but from a drag queen? I voted for Obama, think Michelle's inspiring and I'm happy to play along with the press's love affair with the new administration. But honey, the emperor's new clothes are just that-whether they're hanging off the back of an emperor or a first lady-elect.

First, you can call that hot mess any color you like--but to me it's vomit. And vomit I did. Was it gold? Was it green? If I'm asking, then it certainly wasn't much of a statement. (I will admitsurely recognize the color of puke by now.) And that brocade shot with glittery thread can look rich at night, but the overcast daylight removed all of it's sparkle making it dull and flat. Possibly classy, but definitely blah. For a woman who's known for her fashion statements, this was a whisper.



And speaking of flat--what happened to Michelle's boobs? I'm not going to fault a gal for her lack of a rack, but there are ways to complement any figure. You know that horizontal crease which stretches from boob to boob when a woman is wearing an ill-fitting top or dress? Michelle was featuring that unfortunate look on this historic occasion! The sad thing is that it drew attention to how little bosom she has. I guess her taters were further flattened by the weight of the stiff brocade.


I've known Isabel Toledo for years and she always looks immaculate herself. So I don't know if this failure is from the designer's weird concept/bad cut, not knowing how to dress Michelle's figure, or some quirky "Jackie O" notion of the first-lady elect. But Michelle has alway struck me as thin--this outfit managed to give her a tummy. In fact, her stomach appeared to stick out further than her boobs. Wait a minute--the bitch stole my look!

I loved the built-on necklace, but what were those pitiful hanging bits of chiffon? A free-form bow? Pew! Is it tied now? Untied now? Waaay too complicated! A big crowd calls for a bold statement--no messy little details. And then to top it off by a boxy coat with too tight sleeves which made her arms look huge? And then add another flat line in front to squash down the bosom some more? The one thing it did do is take the eye off her buffalo butt. But I agree with most black women--accent the curves you do have, even if they're behind you.


>

Now I realize that it was freezing cold and it must have been tough to pick the right ensemble for the weather, much less the occasion. I'm surprised Michelle wasn't trembling by the end of the ceremony. Maybe she was forced to wear long underwear and that's what flattened the boobs and plumped the arms. Whatever it was, the overall effect definitely left me cold.

Is this important? Not at all. But as someone with a difficult to dress figure myself, I'd like to think that I can clock an unflattering silhouette. I also have a very distinct color palette which suits me and I rarely vary from it. Although, I don't care for it, I'm not even saying that this ugly shade was a bad one for Ms. Obama in particular. Your husband's getting sworn in as commander-in-chief and you're wearing the color of a dishonorable discharge? Like the kind you get from gonorrhea? (My mom once showed me hers.)

Is anyone out there in agreement? I'm scratching my beautifully-coiffed head while all of the press rave over this dud.

(PS: I didn't have a problem with the evening gown Michele wore to the balls, but it seems others have. SOUND OFF!

EIN ZWEI DIE! NAZI ZOMBIES!

CHECK OUT THE TRAILER FOR DEAD SNOW.

A SHORT LOVE STORY

A man and a woman who had never met before but who were both married to other people, found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a trans-continental train.



Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, A SHORTthey were both very tired and fell asleep quickly, he in the upper berth and she in the lower.

At 1:00 AM, the man leaned down and gently woke the woman saying,.......... 'Ma'am, I'm sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket? I'm awfully cold.'

'I have a better idea,' she replied 'Just for tonight,...... let's pretend that we're married.'

'Wow!...................... That's a great idea!', he exclaimed.

'Good,' she replied. .............'Get your own f---ing blanket.'

After a moment of silence, ......................he farted.

The End

MOMS MABLEY!

STEPHANIE MILLER & CO ON C-SPAN

REV AL SHARPTON AGAINST PROP 8

Al Sharpton serves up an "epic serving of truth"! He actually uses the word "trade"!

"I am tired," he went on, "of seeing ministers who will preach
homophobia by day, and then after they're preaching, when the lights are off
they go cruising for trade...We know you're not preaching the Bible, because
if you were preaching the Bible we would have heard from you. We would have
heard from you when people were starving in California--when they
deregulated the economy and crashed Wall Street you had nothing to say. When
Madoff made off with the money, you had nothing to say. When Bush took us to
war chasing weapons of mass destruction that weren't there you had nothing
to say.

But all of a sudden, when Proposition 8 came out, you had so much to
say.[...]

There is something immoral and sick about using all of that power to not
end brutality and poverty, but to break into people's bedrooms and claim
that God sent you. It amazes me when I looked at California and saw churches
that had nothing to say about police brutality, nothing to say when a young
black boy was shot while he was wearing police handcuffs, nothing to say
when they overturned affirmative action, nothing to say when people were
being [relegated] into poverty, yet they were organizing and mobilizing to
stop consenting adults from choosing their life partners."

LAZY TOWN FEAT LI"L JOHN

NEW GEICO AD

AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES

1. If you are choking on an ice cube, simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat.
Presto! The blockage will instantly remove itself.

2. Avoid cutting yourself slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop.

3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by using the shower.

4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.

5. A mouse trap placed on top of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.

7. You only need two tools in life - WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape

STONED-HENGE?

FASCINATING ARTICLE FROM JONTY SKRUFF'S INTERNATIONAL NIGHTLIFE/CULTURE NEWSLETTER. SIGN UP FOR ITHERE:

British scientist Rupert Till revealed this week that Stonehenge is actually a purpose built outdoor rave arena, where ancient Britains threw massive parties and dance to samba and organic trance.



The sound expert examined the acoustic qualities of the stones as they were 5,000 years ago and discovered they reflected sound perfectly, making the circle ‘ideal for repetitive trance rhythms’, said the Discovery Channel.

"Echoes in the space indicate that there might have been rhythmic music played,” Till told reporters.

"This would be at a tempo of about 160 beats per minute, a fast tempo,” he noted.

“It is interesting that this is the tempo of fast trance music, of samba; It is at the top of the range of musical tempos. It is also at the top end of the range of the human heartbeat, the same as the heart might beat if you were doing really vigorous exercise, or dancing really energetically," he added.

Leading British archeologist Aaron Watson previously examined the stone circle’s acoustics and discovered that its builders appeared to be experts at directing sound.

“Almost all of the stones at Stonehenge have been artificially shaped. It was noted during the research that the inner surfaces of many stones were dressed to be either flat or concave. This is not visually striking, but could improve the ability of these stones to reflect sound,” he said in a University of Manchester report.

“In contrast, the outward facing surfaces of the same stones are irregular or even convex. The enormous effort invested in dressing sarsens and bluestones into these subtle and barely visible shapes is difficult to explain, but it might suggest that the builders of the monument knew how to emphasise the movement of sound,” he said.

MORE

A FEW OF JONTY'S OTHER TIDBITS:

No Sex Breakfast Club

Japanese teenagers who eat breakfast lose their virginity over 18 months later than those who skip it, according to a new study of 3,000 people.

“Those unhappy with their parents - such as for not preparing breakfast - may tend to find a way to release their frustration by having sex,” research chief Kunio Kitamura, head of the Japan Family Planning Association, speculated, “If children don't feel comfortable in their family environment, they tend to go out,' he noted (AFP).

The study also revealed that 40% of Japanese married couples hadn’t had sex for over a month with many finding sex ‘to be a pain’.


Blue Jeans Evil- Official



Clerics from the Darul Uloom seminary in Deoband, India branded jeans ‘unislamic’ this week issuing a fatwa against the wearing of denim for both men and women.

“The physical structure (curves) of the body is reflected if one puts on a jeans,” the fatwa reportedly decreed, “Wearing them by a woman is a sin. It is barred for men as well. Women, who want to look as men, are cursed”, the decreee added. (Deccan Herald/ Times)

Daily Telegraph fashion expert Celia Walden, meanwhile, suggested the West’s escalating economic meltdown heralds the death of casualwear, with desperate jobseekers instead opting for suit and tie uniformity,

“During the depression of the Thirties, there was such competition for jobs that people dressed to be taken seriously,” London College of Fashion chief Brenda Polan told the Telegraph.

“Serious people wore dark suits and white shirts, and women adopted a feminised version of the male business suit so that no one would think them flighty,” she added.

SMILEY FACE AT WALMART

ALWAYS DO A TWIRL IN FRONT OF THE MIRROR BEFORE LEAVING THE HOUSE!

(CLICK PIC TO ENLARGE--KINDA HARD TO SPOT)

FREE MUSIC FROM ANNIE LENNOX

A LITTLE RECESSION-FRIENDLY FREEBIE COURTESY OF FLYLIFE, INC. GRANNIE COVERS ASH'S SHINNG LIGHT ON HER UPCOMING CD, THE ANNIE LENNOX COLLECTION.



DOWNLOAD LINK

SHUT UP, SWEET VARLA

VARLA PARODIES ONE OF MY FAVORITE FILMS, THE MAD BETTE DAVIS VEHICLE HUSH, HUSH SWEET CHARLOTTE--A COMPANION FILM TO WHATEVER HAPPENED TO BABY JANE?.



FROM SOVO.COM: Shut up, Sweet Varla Infamous drag queen takes on horror classic By JIM FARMER

‘Shut Up Sweet Charlotte!’ Jan. 22 – 31 14th Street Playhouse 173 14th Street 404-733-5000

LADY BUNNY ISN'T THE ONLY NOTABLE DRAG performer hitting Atlanta this month. Next week, gay actor Jeffery Roberson, better known as the statuesque redhead Varla Jean Merman, bows in the comedy “Shut Up Sweet Charlotte!”

“Shut Up Sweet Charlotte!” is inspired by the 1964 horror film “Hush…Hush, Sweet Charlotte” with Bette Davis and Olivia de Havilland, which is itself a gay favorite. The Southern Gothic film is well known for its campiness and its casting of angelic de Havilland in the villainess role.

MORE: SOVO.COM

AND HERE'S A CLIP FROM YOUUBE:

A FROG IN HER THROAT

No sound was altered. These clips are from the orignal movie, "Working Girl", 1988. Starring Melanie Griffith, Sigourney Weaver, Harrison Ford and Joan Cusack.

SOLID AS BARACK

SOUL LEGENDS ASHFORD AND SIMPSON HAVE REWRITTEN THEIR 80'S SMASH SOLID INTO A BARACK ANTHEM. CHECK IT OUT!



LISTEN: HUFFPO

THIS DELIGHTFUL STORY IS ALSO ON HUFFPO::MADAME TUSSAUD'S UNVEILS BARACK WAX FIGURE, LEAVING BUSH ON THE SIDEWALK!



SLIDESHOW AND ARTICLE: HUFFPO

BRITISH SOLDIERS ON LSD

MIDNIGHT MASS (LA) W/ PEACHES AND ELVIRA!

Peaches Christ proudly presents you to her ultimate hero and icon, the world’s most famous horror hostess Elvira! This is a very special and rare screening celebrating the 20th Anniversary of Elvira, Mistress Of The Dark. The film will be screened from the only known original print in existence! Don’t miss Peaches’ hilarious and insightful onstage interview with Elvira, audience Q&A, and lobby autograph signing.

MORE INFO: PEACHESCHRIST

COCKFLOP

COCKFLOP

TASTY TIM HITS NYC!

London Nightlife Icon Tasty Tim is our very special guest for the evening, Tasty will man the decks with founding resident Sammy Jo and Johnny Dynell. Expect nothining more then a really FUN evening, with a who's who of our favorite nightlife freaks and hotties.

10pm- ???

GM=GAY MARRIAGE

The DALLAS VOICE'S DANIEL KUSNER ATTENDED A RECENT GM DETROIT AUTO SHOW. WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH GAY MARRIAGE? READ ON...

AN EXCERPT:

My first real auto show experience was a breakfast powwow titled “Adapting to the State of Business,” where GM’s diversity spokesperson Roderick D. Gillum, talked about the auto giant’s commitment to social responsibility. He mentioned civil rights crusader and GM board member Leon Sullivan, who played such an integral part in the success of the anti-apartheid movement — the man who helped GM realize that voluntarily withdrawing from doing business with South Africa was a bold and phenomenal change.

And when apartheid finally crumbled, South Africa’s rebirth ended not just racial discrimination, it abolished all discrimination, which gave same-sex couples the right to legally marry and enjoy the same full, equal marriage rights as their hetero brothers and sisters.

Yep, as fucked up as South Africa once was, their new constitutional bill of rights is light-years ahead of ours.

At GM’s diversity powwow, Dallas Voice asked if Sullivan’s legacy in South Africa is still alive in the U.S., and if GM supported same-sex marriage rights in America?
A mild gay panic-attack erupted, and someone from the back of the room quickly trotted out GM’s Corporate Equality Index rating and the fact the company offers benefits for same-sex partners. As the Asians and African-Americans in the room scratched their heads, the Q&A sharply shifted direction and GM’s social responsibility to same-sex marriage was purposefully left unanswered.

WHOLE ARTICLE: DALLASVOICE.COM



The article is followed by mini profiles of a couple of GM higher-ups like Christopher Webb (pictured) , their color consultant who you may recognize from PROJECT RUNWAY. And a transgender M-F who deosn't "cross" at work but managed to secure GM sponsorship for a large tranny gathering! Damn! You know the automobile is really desperate up when they're sponsoring transsexual gatherings!

RAFFAELLA CARRA: 5353456

GET A LOAD OF THIS BACK-UP DANCER!

THE PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE

FUCKIN' RV SALESMAN!

NYC IS CLEAN ENOUGH!

Join the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual & Transgender Community Center and the New York City Anti-Violence Project for the first event in our MOVE for Social Change series!

NYC Mayor Michael Bloomberg and the NYPD’s vice squad are waging war on gay men and sexual freedom. Gay City News has covered this extensively. Here’s a link to one of the articles: SHUTTERING PORN SHOPS, CITY FAKES ARRESTS.

HERE'S AN EXCERPT WHICH OUGHT TO OUTRAGE YOU:

Eight of the 12 men arrested in Blue Door were between 42 and 54. Four were from out of state.

It is possible that Blue Door hosts prostitutes who are mostly middle-aged and have managed to avoid getting busted, but that seems statistically unlikely.

Equally unlikely is that a 54-year-old hustler from California or a 20-year-old one from Virginia would incur the time and expense of traveling to New York City to sell their bodies when they could do so in their home states.

Most implausible is the notion that a 37-year-old from Europe and his 44-year-old partner would obtain a US visa, travel to New York City, and check into the Astor on the Park Hotel so they could earn $20 each for having anal sex with a stranger in a Lower East Side porn shop.

What explains these scenarios is Pinter's arrest. He was approached by a younger man who was aggressive and charming in getting Pinter to agree to what he thought was consensual sex outside of the store. It was only as the two were leaving Blue Door that the undercover cop said to Pinter, "Oh, I want to pay you $50 to suck your dick."

Pinter said nothing in response and was arrested outside the store, as were all the men. It appears police targeted older men, who might be more likely to respond to a younger man. The cops could not know where these men lived until after they were busted; some of the arrests were of men from out of state.


Here’s a cry that ought to be heard at the meeting and around this great city: Why does NYC still have a vice squad in the 21st century?

-Bill Dobbs


Date: Thursday, January 15, 2009

Time: 7-9 p.m.

Place: The Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual & Transgender Community Center 208 West 13th Street, between 7th Ave. and Greenwich Ave.

This town hall meeting will explore what many activists now consider a pattern of police entrapment and false arrests of gay men as a strategy to shutter Manhattan porn shops.

Elected Officials:

Tom Duane, New York State Senator, Opening Remarks.

Rosie Mendez, NYC Councilwoman.

Panelists:

Sienna Baskin, Equal Justice Works Legal Fellow, Urban Justice Center/Sex Workers Project.

Joey Nelson, Coordinator, Queer Justice League.

Duncan Osborn, Gay City News reporter who “broke” the story.

Robert Pinter, community activist and organizer of the newly formed "Coalition to Stop the Arrests".

Jennifer Ramírez, Local Organizer, New York City Anti-Violence Project.

Andrea Ritchie, Project Director, Urban Justice Center/Sex Workers Project.

Moderator:

Jared Ringer, Coordinator of Hate Violence and Police Relations Programs, New York City Anti-Violence Project.

The Center’s and AVP’s MOVE (Mobilize, Organize, Visualize, Educate) for Social Change series provides the resources to actualize social change: through education, debate, civic engagement and innovation, we each have the power to envision and create lives and communities that center safety, peace and equity for all.

For more information, please contact: The Center 212-620-7310, AVP 212-714-1184,
Joey Nelson/Queer Justice League 973-464-0112 or Urban Justice Center 646-602-5695.

VIRAL VIDEO PET STORE

FROM LADY ESTHER GIN:

LADY BUNNY IN VERANDA!

I don't know if I mentioned it, but for the next 3 weeks, I'll be playing the role of Charity Dive, a southern Baptist preacher's wife in Atlanta's hit comedy, VERANDA. I was interviewed by Michael Alvear on my role:



And if you're in the Atlanta area, this play is a laugh riot, drawing sell-out crowds made of of everything from gays to actual churchgoing bible belt folk. Today, we were crying with laughter while rehearsing and the director told us that we were allowed one "Carol Burnett moment per performance", so use it wisely. The playwrights are GLAAD Award-winning gay duo John Gibson and Anthony Morris, who also co-wrote PEACHTREE BATTLE, the longest running play in Atlanta's history. The show's actual star is the insanely funny Tina McKissick, who's also my roommate.

I've also been totally inspired by a young black actor who is blind! A match made in heaven! A cute black guy who can't see me! If only he were physically handicapped as well so that he couldn't get away from me as easily! Read about his story in the Atlanta Constitution HERE.

I join the cast Thursdays-Sunday matiness from 1/15-1/30. For tickets/more info, checkout ANSLEYPARKPLAYHOUSE.



And if you subscribe to Sirius Radio, Frank Decaro will interview me on Thursday on The Frank Decaro Show this Thursday at 11;20!.

WATCH IT GROW!

Like your porn oversized? Then you'll love this site!



SEPH.MACROPHILE

JOHN WATERS' NOTE TO OBAMA

The schlockmeister puts on his thinking cap and offers humorous suggestions to the president-elect.



BBC

This is a video but I couldn't manage to embed it. At one point, Waters recommends that Obama use a disguise to enable him to mingle among ordinary people so that he isn't sheltered by White House yes men. I think that's suck an excellent idea! I've even included a costume idea of my own which Trevor Rains (of Heatherette fame) sent me. Meet Lady Obunny!

ANTONY HEGARTY IN NEW YORK MAG

NEW YORK:



His friends are very protective, though drag artist Lady Bunny—who’s known him for nearly twenty years—offers this: “People who might know all the words to his songs don’t realize what a nut he is.” The two like to chat on the phone in gibberish, and just the other day he walked up behind her at a deli and bit her on the shoulder. “That thing is a clown.”

ANOTHER INTERESTING EXCERPT:

Sean Penn’s being cast in Milk (“It’s like blackface to me … it’s a continuing Hollywood minstrel show, co-opting queer stories and perversely building up the careers of these heterosexual bastards with the plumage of effeminacies, that they can wear this plumage of effeminacies without having to really be accountable”).


WHOLE ARTICLE: NYMAG

JAPANESE HORROR/KITSCH HAUSU (1977)

FROM HOWIE PYRO OF THE ILLUMINOIDS:

FINALLY A FRIENDSHIP EMAIL YOU DON'T HAVE TO FORWARD!

Are you tired of those sissy 'friendship' poems? You will see no cutesy smiley faces, just the stone cold truth of great friendship.



When you are sad --I will jump on the person who made you sad like a spider monkey jacked up on Mountain Dew!



When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.



When you smile -- I will know you are plotting something that I must be involved in.



When you're scared -- we will high-tail it out of here.



When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining, ya big baby!



When you are confused -- I will use little words.



When you are sick --Stay the hell away from me until you are well. I don't want whatever you have.



When you fall -- I'll pick you up and dust you off-- After I laugh my butt off!!





Send this to 10 of your closest friends, then get depressed because you can only think of 4.

MADOFF (PONZI) SCHEME SIMPLIFIED

SINCE I CAN'T UNDERSTAND IT, MAYBE THIS EMAIL WILL HELP YOU? I did enjoy Joan RIvers' jokes at her farewell performance at the Cutting Room last week that Barbara Streisand's nose was so big that it made Madoff look like a Christian and that Bermi Madoff had tricked more jews than the welcoming committee at Auschwitz!

Once upon a time a man appeared in a village and announced to the villagers that he would buy monkeys for $10 each.

The villagers, seeing that there were many monkeys around, went out to the forest and started catching them.

The man bought thousands at $10 and, as supply started to diminish, the villagers stopped their effort.

He next announced that he would now buymonkeys at $20 each. This renewed the efforts of the villagers and they started catching monkeys again.




Soon the supply diminished even further and people started going back to their farms.

The offer increased to $25 each and the supply of monkeys became so scarce it was an effort to even find a monkey, let alone catch it!

The man now announced that he would buy monkeys at $50 each! However since he had to go to the city on some business, his assistant would buy on his behalf.

In the absence of the man, the assistant told the villagers: "Look at all these monkeys in the big cage that the man has already collected.

I will sell them to you at $35 and when the man returns from the city, you can sell them to him for $50 each."

The villagers rounded up all their savings and bought all the monkeys for 700 billion dollars. They never saw the man or his assistant again, only lots and lots of monkeys!

HAIRSPRANUS!

A Romanian woman shocks doctors when an x-ray reveals a can of hairspray in her butt. You must hear her excuse. I'm wondering if she's a real woman!

MORE W/ PIC: OMGBLOG.COM

SNL'S PENELOPE!

SNL'S MADDOW, BURRIS AND BLAGO SKETCH

A BETTER SORT OF INSULT

FROM THE NY TIMES, AN EXCERPT FROM DICK CAVETT'S BOOK A LIFE IN RIMSHOTS


I haven’t ever found any great writing on that wonderful and often unappreciated art form, the insult.

There are two kinds of insult. “I was bored by your book” is one kind. “Your book? Once I put it down, I couldn’t pick it up,” is the other.

Although both are insults, only one is witty. Or, at least, funny. I suppose we should reserve the accolade “wit” for the very highest practitioners of the art — Parker, Wilde, Shaw, Twain, Kaufman, Levant, Marx et al. Some would include Rickles. (As when Sinatra entered a club while Don was onstage. Rickles: “Make yourself comfortable, Frank, hit somebody.”)

While on the subject, I believe it was writer/critic Clive James who is said to have remarked, when a man punched Sinatra in the face one night outside the stage door, “That’s the first time the fan hit the . . . .”

MORE: NYTIMES

TENNIS STRIP

HAVE YOU EVER PLAYED WAL*MART BINGO?

Copy the below Bingo card and take it with you the next time you visit Wal*Mart.

CLICK ON PIC TO ENLARGE--DEFINITELY GOOD FOR A GIGGLE!

WHITE MEN CAN'T RAP

The Ortega taco shell guy's pretty good and one or two other guy's towards the end, but it is so hilarious (to me, anyway) to see these old rednecks try to spit. The older ones have an especially hard time. I'm sure that on some level they're aware of how ridiculous the concept is, but I would love to be in the recording studio with a joint listening this session. If this is the finished product, can you imagine the out takes? Even the cheerleaders are lackluster!

THE BEST EDITED CABLE SHOW EVER!

LIZ RENAY SLIDE SHOW

LIZ RENAY SLIDE SHOW FROM HER CURRENT EXHIBIT AT DEITCH PROJECTS. HERE'S ON OF LIZ WITH HER PAINTINGS:



VIEW MORE DEITCH

A RIDDLE FOR THE DAY

Arnold Schwarzenegger has a big one.

Michael J. Fox has a small one.

Madonna doesn't have one.

The Pope has one but doesn't use it.

Clinton uses his all the time.

Mickey Mouse has an unusual one.

Liberace never used his on women.

Jerry Seinfeld is very, very proud of his.

Cher claims that she took on 3.

We never saw Lucy use Desi's.

What is it? Answer below! (this is pretty good ) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

The answer is: "A last name."

You didn't think I'd tell you a dirty joke, did you?

LA LIZ IN BOOM!: 1968

IF YOU CAN MAKE IT TO 7:15 MINUTES IN, LIZ IS WEARING AN AMAZING LOOK COMPLETE WITH "KABUKI" HEADDESS":

ANNA COPA CABANNA

THIS NUT IS AT THE ZIPPER THEATER ON 1/24--MORE VIDEOS ON HER MYSPACE.

.

Throw a garden party

TOP 10 INDICATORS

THAT A DERN REDNECK'S BEEN WORKING ON YORE COMPOOTER:



0. The monitor is up on blocks.

9. Outgoing faxes have tobacco stains on them.

8. The six front keys have rotted out.

7. The extra RAM slots have truck parts installed in them.

6. The numeric keypad only goes up to six.

5. The password is "Huntin".

4. The CPU has a gun rack mount.

3. There is a Skoal can in the CD-ROM drive.

2. The keyboard is camouflaged.

1. The mouse is referred to as a "critter".

AT WALMART?

CAROL BURNETT AND BOB MACKIE'S LASTING GENIUS! MEET THE NEW "WENT WITH THE WIND" DOLL!




MORE INFO: BARBIECOLLECTOR

WHY'D THEY TAKE THIS PRODUCT OFF THE MARKET?

LOGO'S DRAG HISTORY MONTH CONTINUES...

WITH AN INTERVIEW WITH MOI! IT INCLUDES SOME ARCHIVAL PHOTOS AND HERE'S A TEASER THAT I HOPE'LL PLEASE YA!



What is the most crucial issue facing the drag community these days?



The same crucial issue facing everyone in this country: We must focus on wrenching our country away from crooks before they totally bankrupt us. We just used our voices to demand change and actually voted in a black man named Hussein into the White House, for Chrissakes! Isn't using our power intoxicating? We must stay involved and remember that WE are THEIR bosses. And by the way, I'm running for president in 2012--I'll finally be over the 35-year-old age restriction by then!

Sorry--you mean specifically to drag, right? I perform around the country a lot so I see a lot of traditional lip-synch acts. Queens have always had to synch the hits sometimes just for the tips. A lot of these girls aren't paid a lot and they're up there in expensive gowns and custom made jewelry, so they need the dollars which do roll in whenever they perform a song of the moment (like “Single Ladies”) that everyone's just dying to hear. But that really is caving in to the lowest common denominator. Recreating a music video may require some skill, but very little imagination. And I see this more and more.

In the past, there was always a queen or two in the cast who would pull out a number no one had ever heard and really make it work using her own creativity. That's how I was turned on to phenomenal songs like Patti Labelle's “Over The Rainbow,” Grace Slick's “Seasons,” Melba Moore's “Lean On Me,” Natalie Cole's wild live recording of “Party Lights” and Betty Wright's seismic live version of “Lovin' Is Really My Game.” These songs didn't have to be hits on the radio to thrill audiences for decades. Or a queen might add some new twist on a song to make it comical.



Sadly, a lot of today's drag performers aren't very unique. I performed a New Year's gig at a club where the other local cast members complained that "If it's not on the radio, they don't wanna hear it." Something tells me that this trend might have something to do with the dumbing down of America and our appalling lack of musical sophistication which allows nursery rhyme chants like “Hollaback Girl” and “My Humps” to undeservedly become hits. But you can't blame the audience! Or can you? Maybe that's another article entirely!

WHOLE INTERVIEW: NEWNOWNEXT.COM

YOU TELL 'EM, QUINCY!

Quincy Jones has started a petition to ask President-Elect Obama to appoint a Secretary of the Arts. While many other countries have had Ministers of Art or Culture for centuries, The United States has never created such a position. We in the arts need this and the country needs the arts--now more than ever. Please take a moment to sign this important petition and then pass it on to your friends and colleagues.



PETITIONONLINE

SNAP!

My beloved Huffingtonpost.com which I bite off of daily is becoming more and more like a tabloid. I check that site several times daily and the hard-hitting political diatribes are giving way to seductive celebrity gossip. I try not to click on these stories, because the more you click, the more prominence these stories will be given. I have no idea who Lisa RInna even is, but the headline LISA RINNA'S FILLER REGRET: I LOOK LIKE A FREAK! did grab my attention. (Especially since I just caught Joan Rivers' genius act at The Cutting Room last night. No filler in that act, but the face!) Lisa spills the beans on her botched Juvederm injections.



Huffpo:

Is there any plastic surgery you regret?

Lisa Rinna: My cheeks. I had Juvederm put in my cheeks. That's what I overdid -- big time. I tried it because my girlfriends did it. I thought: I'll do it! I saw a photo and I was like, "Oh Jesus. That's no good. That's NOT good." What I learned is that I don't really need it. You get older and insecure and you think you need it and you don't. I learned less is more. Keep your skin good. But, I still like Botox. It's great! It doesn't change the shape of my face. When you change your face, you don't look like yourself. Looking fresher is one thing. I look like a freak!

Thankfully, Huffpo's readers' are more zingy than it's content! Several comments mentioned that her "trout pout" lip injections were weirder than her filled cheeks, but I really loved the comment below. Lagomorph?!? You learn something new every day!

How unfortunate that poor Ms. Rinna feels so self conscious. It's easy to see how anything that might tend to increase the already massive burden of her self involvement could be disabling. For someone so massively self obsessed, her current self-inflicted predator lagomorphian* look must be particularly onerous.

In the interest of supporting another human being during an especially difficult time, perhaps those of us who have absolutely no idea who Ms. Rinna is might write to her. We should reassure her that her appearance, nay, her very existence, is of absolutely no import to us whatsoever. We must comfort her with the knowledge that we cannot think ill of her cheeks because we are not thinking of her at all.

I hereby pledge not only never to look at her grotesque surgery, but never even to think about it. Not only that, but I give my solemn word of honor never, ever to think of her again once I click "Post."

* Did you know that male lagomorphs, unlike rodents, have their scrotums in _front_ of their penises, rather than behind?


Sorry if my posting this causes the commenter's association with Lisa to linger on, but I knew you'd all be dying to search WIkipedia for lagomorph so I did it for you! And rabbits are a part of that group! From Lisa's face, I'd suspected the word to refer to a frog.

WIKIPEDIA

And speaking of odd plastic surgery--who gave Alexis a fat lip? It almost looks as though her tongue is hanging out of her mouth!

CHILDREN'S GUIDE TO GROWING UP: RELIGION

Children's Guide to Growing Up: Religion - watch more funny videos

PORN BAILOUT???

VIA HUFFPO:

Porn Bailout: Larry Flynt, Joe Francis Seeking Government Money

JOE IS A HUNK, RIGHT? NOSE JOE OR COKE COLLAPSE NOSTRILS? SOMETHING'S GOING ON BESIDES THE BLEACHED TEETH.



An article in next month's Atlantic asks, "Is porn recession proof?" According to porn magnate Larry Flynt and "Girls Gone Wild" king Joe Francis, the answer is no.

TMZ reports that the pornographer pair is heading to Washington to ask for a $5 billion porn bailout:

"With all this economic misery and people losing all that money, sex is the farthest thing from their mind," Flynt says. "It's time for Congress to rejuvenate the sexual appetite of America."

Francis sees his industry like the big three automakers, only BIGGER: "Congress seems willing to help shore up our nation's most important businesses; we feel we deserve the same consideration."

MORE: HUFFPO

JESUS IS A FRIEND OF MINE

MASTERMINDS NEED NOT APPLY

FROM PIXCETERA.COM:



Udderly Disorderly? Michelle Allen was arrested for disorderly conduct on Sept. 27 while wearing a cow costume. Police in Middletown, Ohio, said the 32-year-old was impeding traffic and chasing children around during a drinking binge. She was reportedly wearing the outfit for a job at a theme park.

Other criminals include Spencer Taylor, who dressed as the joker to steal BATMAN memorabilia!

Definitely good for a giggle: PIXCETERA

SIR-FER DUDE!

I thought the '60's surf music craze was a youth culture thang! Well, here's Sir RObert Helpmann to prove me wrong as he shimmys to his 1963 British hit SURFER DOLL. A trulyr lackluster performance, but he does manage to smile at the end!



His Wikipedia entry sheds some light on this openly gay character, who was also a crossdresser and dancer/choreographer--though you wouldn't know it from this video!

WHO SAYS HISTORY IS A DRAG?

Was one of New York's first governors a drag queen? This satirical romp is a fictionalized account of the events surrounding Lord Cornbury's rule of New York and New Jersey, and the rumors regarding his cross-dressing.

With wit, beautiful language, and music, CORNBURY: THE QUEEN'S GOVERNOR celebrates the ongoing cultural diversity and vitality of the Big Apple.



JANUARY 24TH-FEBRUARY 8TH

Don't miss Theatre Askew's world premiere production of Cornbury: The Queen's Governor co-written by Tony and Pulitzer Prize nominee William M. Hoffman (As Is; Ghosts of Versailles) and Anthony Holland. Starring David Greenspan and Everett Quinton. Directed by Tim Cusack.

MORE INFO

AND SPEAKING OF DRAG HISTORY, IN PREPARATION TO LAUNCH RUPAUL'S DRAG RACE ON LOGO, LOGO'S BLOG HAS POSTED A CUTE NEW RUPAUL VIDEO AND A WITTY DRAG HISTORY PSA BY VARLA JEAN MERMAN.

RU

RuPaul - COVER GIRL


VERMIN MERMAN:

Gay music and video from NewNowNext.com

ANN COULTER A JOKE, AGAIN

Today's HUFFPO lead article is on Ann Coulter, who has a new book out which, surprise, surprise, slams the Obamas. She disses Michelle's Jackie O look and calls Barack "B. Hussein Obama" repeatedly. Perhaps indicating a shift in the country against Ann's insane pronouncements, THE TODAY SHOW cancelled her appearance and a subsequent interview on THE EARLY SHOW had the anchor Harry Smith putting her in her place as "goofy" and "sophomoric".



It's about time! Coulter's views were regularly given credence on the airwaves during the Bush years, even while spouting nonsense like this claim against the Jersey Girls--the 9/11 activists/widows who wanted to investigate Bush's role in 9/11:

"These broads [the "Jersey Girls" - a group of New Jersey widows whose husbands perished in the World Trade Center] are millionaires, lionized on TV and in articles about them, reveling in their status as celebrities and stalked by grief-arrazies. I have never seen people enjoying their husband's death so much."

Wow! C'mon Ann. Your jaw has been wired shut for months and the most sensational bits in your comeback book are to critique Michele's fashion sense and mock Obama's name, which everyone already knows? Where's the dirt, hon? Sorry, but Republican trash-talkers are gonna have to do a lot better than this and PUFF, THE MAGIC NEGRO, to give their slander any traction. Isn't that proof that there really isn't enough scandal with the Obamas for even Ann Coulter to howl over? Goodbye, bitch!

TODAY'S DRUNK JOKE

A drunken man walks into a biker bar, sits down at the bar and orders a drink. Looking around, he sees three men sitting at a
corner table. He gets up, staggers to the table, leans over, looks the biggest, meanest, biker in the face and says:

'I went by your grandma's house today and I saw her in the hallway buck naked. Man, she is one fine looking woman!'

The biker looks at him and doesn't say a word.

His buddies are confused, because he is one bad biker and would fight at the drop of a hat.

The drunk leans on the table again and says:

'I got it on with your grandma and she is good, the best I ever had!'

The biker's buddies are starting to get really mad but the biker still says nothing..

The drunk leans on the table one more time and says, 'I'll tell you something else, boy, your grandma liked it!'

At this point the biker stands up, takes the drunk by the shoulders looks him square in the eyes and says....................


'Grandpa;........ Go home! You're drunk.' . .

HARMONICA SUNBEAM'S B'DAY AT ESCUELITA

After spinning at Splash's Free Tea last night I popped by a packed Esco's to pay my disrespect to their long-running Sunday night hostess Harmonica, the Queen of Comedy. I had never once seen her alter ego Sheila Noxzema, The Supermodel from Seacaucus, but Sheila was kind enough to pose for me in the storied dressing room, proud of her new contract with Reese's.



The foyer to the dressing room is for the male dancers to fluff in, and you can only imagine the bounty treats that the dancers in Manhattan's premier latin nightclub might offer. And since I've noticed that every recent post on my blog is either about women or drag queens, here's one of the strippers, Ecstacy, in action. I couldn't get close enough to the stage to snap a pic so I snapped a couple off of the video monitor instead. His handsome face wasn't visible but who cares about that anyway?



I guess some law prevents an erotic artiste from displaying his whole cock, but his nasty nuts are within legal limits? That said, his cock cover didn't leave a whole lot to the imagination, did it?

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MISS SUGGA PIE KOKO



Now that you're all hot and bothered, you can stay bothered with the demented Sugga Pie Koko, a staple at Escuelita and a scene-stealer at Wigstock whose brilliant schtick is acting as if she is very put off by being anywhere at all much less spoken to. (BTW, she is looking at the camera.) Sugga was joined onstage to take birthday girl Sheila down a peg by this insane creature from Chicago, whose name I forget, but I think it rhymed with Puf'n'Stuf and incorporated "crust" somehow. A little like Sammy Davis Jr., right?



After some very witty banter, they urged Sheila to show off her catwalking skills. Hesitant at first, Sheila claimed that the stage was a little too dirty for her to consider it. A fall might jeopardize her big modeling job next week. "In Afghanistan." Ha! Unlike Harmonica, Sheila speaks with quite a low voice so I missed most of her gems, but before consenting to walk she told the crowd that she had to put her money away. She dug into her matching orange bag, dug deeper, dug all around in it, and finally turned it upside down as the hooting crowd realized that poor Sheila didn't have a dime to her name.

Speaking of models, the luscious Karen Covergirl was spotted backstage.



As well as this, petite, shy beauty visiting from Atlanta who didn't really want to be photographed.



In the crowd:



Performer Noby Rivera, who is much prettier in person.



Just back from Tokyo, that's dragoon Anthony Lamont on the right. He is the sexiest guy out of drag!



LIPS in the house!



NINJAS in the house!



And that's Louie Legacy on the left, an ambitious promoter/activist/ who is all of 19 and already attending World Aids Day conferences.



And speaking of adorable, precocious latinos, didja see the article about The Martinez Brothers in the NY Times, a pair of dj'ing puerto rican brothers (17 and 20) whose dad chaperones them to headline gigs all over Europe, where soulful house is still widely appreciated. How adorable!

AND THEY LOOK UP TO OLDER DJS. HMMMM. WHERE ARE THEY APPEARING NEXT?



And check out this rave from dj/producer Dennis Ferrer, who was responsible remixing for Barbara Tucker's MOST PRECIOUS into an international smash.

NY TIMES:

Unwittingly Christian was doing just that, using MySpace to befriend his favorite D.J.’s and producers, including Dennis Ferrer, the New York dance-music veteran. Christian sent him Web links to TMB’s sets, and Mr. Ferrer offered him and his brother the 4 a.m. slot (clubbing prime time) at the prestigious New York club Shelter.

“I had no idea that they were great,” Mr. Ferrer said in an interview at his studio in Union City, N.J. “I just thought: Let me give him a shot. Let me make his year by letting him play.” But five songs into TMB’s set, Christian said, people abandoned a set by a more popular D.J. upstairs and rushed into their room.



Mr. Ferrer said, “My mouth was on the floor.” When the club promoters asked him if he was going to D.J. himself that night, Mr. Ferrer said he answered, “What for?”

Mr. Ferrer offered a similar sentiment, saying that without “the injection of youth, we’ll be playing to the same old cats we’ve always played to. Not that there’s anything wrong with it, but if your audience doesn’t grow, it stagnates.” The “hip-hop kids” are “thirsty,” he added. “They want something new. They see ‘we’ve got somebody our age we can look up to.’ TMB represent the new demographic.”

But don’t tell the Martinez Brothers that. Both visibly shied away from the idea that they represented the next generation of New York anything. (“We’re representing our personalities,” is how Christian put it, dismissively.) Yet in their meticulous nature and the effect they have on crowds, Christian and Stevie Jr. also embody the compliment that Mr. Ferrer had paid them: “They play like old souls, but they’re new.

WHOLE ARTICLE: NYTIMES



THEIR MYSPACE: THEMARTINEZBROS

(I actually just listened to their productions on myspace and sorry, Mr. Ferrer, but they might wanna incorporate some vocals. Otherwise, they might have hot beats but who needs another producer masturbating to their unchanging tracks with (I'm getting really old school now) a singer and a hook and maybe even--GASP--a chord progression? Otherwise, you're just blaring the same "main floor" crap that has led to the popularization of smaller clubs and bars which shy away from dance music that's so progressive that you can only enjoy it on drugs. But how can I really blame young guys for masturbating? I Just wish I was there to watch! WIth drugs! Maybe some Doan's back pills and a shot of Geritol?)

"LAURA, THE QUINTESSENTIAL LADY BUNNY!"

OK, so I'm vain enough to have a Google alert on my name. But what often comes up is an entree into the bizarre world of dolls, specifically rabbit dolls standing upright and wearing "fancy" women's attire. To many, that's what a Lady Bunny is. Though I was a dedicated fan of human dolls as a child, I now find this obsession quite preposterous, especially when the dolls, like Laura, come with an elaborate back story. Hey, to each her own. The maker of this doll might well ridicule the stylings of this ol' pig in a wig! But am I totally off or is this doll just flat out ugly, disheveled, and poorly dressed with wiry whiskers? Wait! Laura stole my look! I'm gonna sue!



SHE'S GETTING ANXIOUS! "Laura, The Quintessential Lady Bunny!" was pacing around the house and couldn't wait for her husband, "Devin, A Bunny Gentleman", to get home.

You see, she was quite beside herself. She just couldn't understand what they hadn't received their invitation to join the "Victorian Animals Tea Society" that was started by "Bearly Victorian, Ryan" and his wife, "Bearly Victorian, Deb!" for all their wonderful Victorian animal friends.

IN UNISON: PEEEEEEEEEEEEEEW!

After getting rejected for the umpteenth time from the latest Victorian tea society that he had applied to "Barely Victorian, Ryan!" decided that he and his wife should start their own club.

Their club would truly have an open membership and be accepting of all individuals and creatures. None of this "open to all", but really closed to animals rules. So what if Ryan and Deb were bears. They were still Victorian to the core. In fact, their lineage was probably older than some of the snooty Victorians who turned down their membership application.

Laura and Devin were not only "animals, but "old money" animals which meant they were the creme de la creme of the Victorian animal establishment. They were definitely eligible to join the "Victorian Animals Tea Society." So, why hadn't they received an invitation yet?

(BUNNY NOTE: This part below demonstrates that perhaps there are a few similarities between Laura and myself!)

"Laura, The Quintessential Lady Bunny!" is quite the epitome of a fashionable lady of society and has been for a very long time. Despite her 70+ years she is still the creme de la creme of society. So, where is her invitation? When will her husband get home?

To read more, meet more lady and gentlemen bunnies or purchase patterns, click HERE.

EVELYN THOMAS: HIGH ENERGY

This is not my favorite disco sound, but Evelyn either was coached by a lot of drag queens or she invented modern day drag choreography. Miss Thing is WORKING it! I don't think I've ever seen a video where the artist is clearly having that much fun. And no she does not work in the "mime move"! With a chipped tooth! Bless!

A BIG THANK YOU

My heartfelt appreciation goes out to all of you who have taken the
time and trouble to send me "forwards" over the past 12 months. Thank
you for making me feel safe, secure, blessed, and wealthy.

Extra thanks to whoever sent me the one about rat
crap in the glue on envelopes cause I now have to go get a wet towel
every time I need to seal an envelope.

Also, I scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason. Because
of your concern I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove
toilet stains.

I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr Pepper since the people who make these
products are atheists who refuse to put "Under God" on their cans.

I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer.

I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be
pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.

I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even
though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.

I no longer go to shopping malls because someone might drug me with a
perfume sample and rob me. I no longer receive packages from nor send
packages
by UPS or FedEx since they are actually Al Qaeda in disguise.

I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a
number for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica, Uganda,
Singapore, and Uzbekistan.

I no longer eat KFC because their "chickens" are actually horrible
mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.

I no longer have any sneakers -- but that will change once I receive my
free replacement pair from Nike.

I no longer have to buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus since I
now have their recipe.

I no longer worry about my soul because at last count I have 363,214
angels looking out for me.

Thanks to you, I have learned that God only answers my prayers if I
forward an e-mail to seven of my friends and make a
wish within five minutes.

I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a
sick girl who is about to die in the hospital (for the 1,387,258th
time).

I no longer have any money at all - but that will change once I receive
the $15,000 that Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in
their special email program.

Yes, I want to thank you so much for looking out
for me that I will now return the favor!
If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 7
minutes, a large pigeon with a wicked case of diarrhea will land on
your head at 5:00 PM (CDT) this afternoon. I know this will occur because it
actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbor's
ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's beautician.

PHYLLIS DILLER'S WIG AND GLOVES

AT THE SMITHSONIAN!

I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO CALL THIS POST

The person who forwarded it to me said that she loses her extensions but I didn't see it.

THE DIVINE MISS M

Since the death of performer Wayland Flowers in 1988, his over-the-top puppet creation Madame has been seen only sporadically. But with the launch of her new casino tour, Madame is back.

By Lawrence Ferber




During the 1970s and '80s, a silver-haired Hollywood diva ruled the casinos and cabarets, regularly appeared on TV’s Laugh-In and Hollywood Squares, cracked bawdy bon mots with high-rated talk-show hosts, and even starred in her own sitcom, Madame’s Place.

Oh…and she was a puppet.

Glammed up in '30s-style gowns, jewelry, and turbans, with a bulbous heart-shaped chin that rivals Popeye’s (and Quentin Tarantino’s), Madame was the creation of openly gay performer Wayland Flowers, who died of AIDS complications in 1988. After nearly two decades out of the spotlight, and a couple of years warming up with other puppeteers, Madame is making an official comeback on the casino and nightclub circuit with performer Rick Skye pulling the strings in a production titled It’s Madame With an E!

ADVOCATE

WHO DIED IN 2008

THE INCREDIBLY ALLURING CYD CHARISSE,



Where was I? I don't recall hearing about Cyd Charrise dying! Is that a star's name or what? This list is shockingly long. And if you are really bored, the photo's continue with celebs who are sick, including Natalie Cole. Apparently she got hepatitis C from her druggie years in the 70's and it's back.

POPEATER

THE CRYING BABY

LOVE THIS ANIMATION!

THE SONG IS CUTE, TOO. It's called ID ENGAGER by by OF MONTREAL:

TIPS FROM DAME EDNA

FROM THE UK'S GUARDIAN:




You know the skin is the largest organ of your body. I think as a woman to ignore an organ so big would be almost a heresy.

I used to adore my Fisherman's Facials. But there are enzymes made by Estée Lauder nowadays which mean women no longer need to tape sardines to their faces at night.

I dyed my hair brown for many years as a younger woman, because I felt ashamed of my natural mauve colouring. Can you believe that?

READ THE REST: GUARDIAN

WHAT I SEE IN THE MIRROR

By Dame Edna Everage for THE GUARDIAN:



When I look in the mirror I see a caring woman at the height of her powers with an exquisite complexion.

I spend very little time doing my make-up. My appearance on stage and television is the same as my appearance at home. I'm lucky to have almost perfect skin and bone structure and I am always well dressed, even when I am casual. I dress to please myself and the world is sure to follow. I love dressing up. People are so shabby and careless and I like to set an example.

I have had a little cosmetic surgery. I had some crow's feet added to my eyes because people said that I looked too young.

MORE: GUARDIAN

SECULARISTS' VITAL WAR ON RELIGION

Secularists' vital war on religion by A. C. Grayling from THE GUARDIAN

As long as religion is a danger to the lives and liberties of others, secular liberals will never relent in their protests

It is surely a failing not to have heard of Gerald Warner before, but courtesy of the recent fire at the Wasilla Bible Church attended by Sarah Palin in far-off Alaska (Palin was not in the church at the time), this Daily Telegraph writer has leapt on to our radar in full cry, as follows:

If – and it is still a big if – arson was committed by militant homosexuals or liberals simply driven by hatred of Palin, then that is a phenomenon that should greatly concern the American public. Anti-Christian jihadism fuelled by secularism is as unacceptable as that driven by militant Islam. If Wasilla Church was burned by arsonists making an ideological point, that is terrorism.

If what is suspected turns out to be true, the burning of Wasilla Bible Church is a metaphor for the onslaught against Christianity that aggressive secularism has mounted in Europe and which, under the influence of the morally degenerate Democrat party, is now invading the United States. This may be a significant warning to complacent Christians.

Great stuff. Gerald Warner, as a Catholic (and apparently something of a "jihadist" himself), is a member of an institution whose history is littered with crusades, burnings at the stake, persecution of gays, and the perpetuation of the biggest pack of lies that the world has seen - so would seem to be in a poor position to try working the moral equivalence angle. Gays and liberal secularists as jihadists!

This is the funny bit. In the last few years secular liberals have been uncompromising in what they say about religion, and the targets of their criticism have squealed and complained as loudly as if they felt real flames licking round their feet. The churches answered criticism in the past with murder; if they still had the upper hand would they now restrict themselves to their critics' choice of weapon – words? The foam-flecked variety issuing from Warner suggests not.

Let us look at some comparisons. In Afghanistan the Taliban stop girls going to school, beat up women who show a millimeter of skin, ban music, kill gays, and in general force their choice of life and belief on everyone, thus illustrating the less charming aspects of enforced observance of religious orthodoxy under which most of humanity has suffered for most of history. By comparison, secular liberals of Europe and North America say that they think religion is a load of nonsense and that religious folk should keep their fantasies to themselves. Some comparison, eh? Some jihad! Its effectiveness, though, is a sign of insecurity among the faithful. Mark Twain defined faith as "believing what you know ain't so", and the level of insecurity among the faithful when criticised suggests that almost all of them really agree.

MORE: GUARDIAN

ROSIE PEREZ ON SOUL TRAIN

I didn't know she was on SOUL TRAIN! But she can really move and that body is slammin'!

JUSTIN BOND'S NEW BLOG

NEW YEAR, NEW BLOG FOR JUSTIN (AKA KIKI OF KIKI AND ERB FAME)



CLICK HERE TO READ A RECENT POST ABOUT HIS LUNCHEON WITH THE LATE EARTHA KITT: JUSTIN BOND

Justin met the legend for lunch and she sported a purple, teal and white track suit!

DEBI AND SISI TRAILER

With two of my wacky friends from Vancouver in the title roles. With disturbingly Sarah Palin-esque accents.

FROM YOUTUBE:

Forever single and desperate on her 40th birthday, homely Deborah Dyer tries everything she can to "suicide herself". But all attempts fail as fate sends her car swerving right into Sisi Sickles, a recently evicted forty something promiscuous waitress.

Seeing an opportunity for a quick buck, Sisi hastily begins to take advantage of naïve Deb and is soon at Deb's doorstep with a "broken umbilical cord or two". Stricken with guilt, a clueless and lonely Deb postpones her self destructive plans to take care of Sisi.

Things run hilariously amok when the two women grow closer and develop the only real friendship either of them has ever had. Who needs a man right?

MORE INFO: MARKKENNETHWOODS

MOMMY! SHE'S BAAAAAAACK!

There's a new sequel to the hilarious WELCOME TO MY HOME video mash-up. This one largely attacks Morgan Fairchild. The script and the voice are just as ill as the first one, which I included below for the uninitiated.



Don't forget the original!

I AGREE!

LIZA VS CAROL

From Reavis Eitel--some clever nut has edited snippets of the two show biz legends' interviews and the resulting mash-up is a hoot! In most of her segments, Carol is wearing no eyelashes. I don't know if you recall, but in the last decade ago Carol stopped wearing wigs and claimed that she had developed an allergy to lash adhesive which prevented her from wearing her trademark false eyelashes. She looks quite washed out without them--kinda like Martin Landau, pictured below.

DO NOT MISS GYPSY!

If you're in NY or anywhere close, you have only a few more days to catch Patti Lupone in GYPSY. She sizzles! The whole production is perfectly cast--not one bad performance in the show. I'd heard that the show was somewhat minimal, which disappointed me because I get so tired of Shakespeare plays done as if they were in the 1940's, etc. Just do it as it was written if it's worth doing! But though the sets were somewhat minimal, the amount of talent on that stage lit filled it completely. I certainly didn't spend a second thinking about what was missing from the sets! The aging strippers' performance of YOU GOTTA GET A GIMMICK was worth the price of admission on it's own. And I must single out the child actress who played Baby June--she really milked every ounce of cheese out of her musical numbers (which are supposed to be awful) and ended each one with an expression so perky that it bordered on mentally ill! And a split!



I went with Lypsinka, who's a friend of Patti and she graciously upgraded our seats AND we got to meet the show business legend in her dressing room after the show. She didn't want to be photographed since her Mama Rose wig had rumpled her own hair--I know the feeling, honey!--but in truth it was super gracious of her to see us anyway. Because it's such a song-heavy show, she must conserve her vocal chords and Lyp told me that she couldn't talk all day throughout the run, communicating only via email. Her sacrifice is well worth it. The bitch got a standing ovation even before the show was finished! I'm a new fan.

OUTSIDE THE DIVA'S DRESSING ROOM!





I am not a fan of most musicals since I'm not keen on most showtunes. But OLIVER, WEST SIDE STORY, GREASE and GYPSY are a different story because of their fantastic scores. And to hear songs like HAVE AN EGGROLL, MR. GOLDSTONE and ROSE'S TURN sung by Patti with a cracking full orchestra simply can't be beat. I almost went to see Bernadette Peters as Mama Rose a few years ago, but Rose is a broad, so even though I like Bernadette Peters who never seems to age, I just couldn't imagine a squeaky-voiced kewpie doll as the star of GYPSY. Apparently, the deservedly protective writer felt the same way and wanted to see his show done right after being underwhelmed by the production with Bernadette. He even allowed this cast to throw in a few bits which were improvised during rehearsals.

GYPSY closes on 1/11 and Next, the gay magazine, has tickets for half-priced tickets--ours were a thrifty $59 each. HIGHLY RECOMMENDED! Besides, where else could you get a sick,bedazzled "Momma, I'm a pretty girl" t-shirt?

COVER GIRL! GIVE IT A TWIRL!

Bun-Bun is featured on the cover of this month's AMBIENTE, a magazine for gay latino and latinas. Check out the in-depth interview--they really dug up some skeletons, including my real name and age! Here's a sample:



Born in 1962 as Jon Ingle in Chattanooga,
Tennessee, Lady Bunny has lived and
performed in New York City since the 1980s,
and big hair everywhere hasn't been the same.

She is the founder and emcee of the annual
Wigstock event where 40,000 New Yorkers
flocked every Labor Day for nearly 20 years to
watch big performances, big celebrities and
big hair.

Lady Bunny has released several disco singles
such as "Shame, Shame, Shame!" and "The
Pussycat Song." She has appeared in films such
as Wigstock: The Movie, Peoria Babylon, and
To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything! Julie
Newmar. In 2005 she was a roaster on Comedy
Central’s roast of Pamela Anderson and
released her first DVD, Rated X for X-tra
Retarded.

Ambiente sits down with The first Lady of Bunny
for a chat & some words of wisdom:

HS- Lady Bunny, you are very well-known as a
nightclub DJ, promoter, singer, celebrity,
activist, icon and Diva. Which do you most identify with and why?

LB- I definitely think of myself first and foremost as a slut. And you latino guys are my favorite!

HS- Most recently you have teamed up with PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) and
are currently featured in an ad campaign against KFC and their treatment of the chickens. How did
this come about?

LB- Dan Matthews, PETA’s campaign director, approached me in the 80’s to put on a show called Fur
Its A Drag, in which drag queens modelled blood-stained furs (which had been donated to PETA)
while I read out the methods by which the different animals were killed. For example, beavers are
killed for their fur by anal electrocution. Now I know that some of you kinky guys might get excited by
that, but it’s deadly. We put on Fur Is A Drag in NYC, Miami, Paris, London and Rome. By that time
Dan and I had become fast friends. If you've read his book COMMITTED, you’d know how hilarious he
is. And good-looking. As they say, opposites attract!

READ THE REST: AMBIENTE.US


In December, this window in a magazine shop caught my eye.



A photography magazine called LID featured different "models" on it's December issue and I found myself in very good company, with other covers going to Edie Sedgewick, Debbie Harry, Andy Warhol, Joe D'Allessandro and Veruschka!

The portrait was taken years ago by David Croland as the basis for a book called DRAG DOLLS, which made paper dolls out of NYC scene queens. I certainly wasn't expecting them to turn up on the cover of anything. Ah, when I was young enough to pull off petulant poses. Miss Guy, who in addition to dj'ing and fronting bands has also worked as a professional make-up artist, finally persuaded me not to wear dark lips ever and to stop drawing on that I LOVE LUCY upper lip with the wide space in the middle. It does give me an odd touch of a sneer, but I love the wig.



More pics inside:



Here's Mistress Formika in a long gone incarnation--she mainly promotes as a boy now.




And Hedda in a somber, but seductive turban, which she's now replaced with large blonde do's.



Other queens included were Sherry Vine, Joey Arias, Raven O and Richie Rich.

VINTAGE JOAN RIVERS

Melissa's in the audience with her old nose!

RULES OF THE BATH HOUSE

AN EMAIL FORWARD:

People wearing jockstraps tend to make it with other people wearing jockstraps. Nobody makes it with people wearing pink bikinis.

You can have a heart attack fucking in the whirlpool.

It is extremely hazardous to your health to attempt to inhale poppers while under water.

Saying "I'm resting" to everyone who seeks entry into your room defeats the purpose of going to the baths.

If everyone who said "I don't come here often" was telling the truth, there would be no one there.

Those who lay naked on their stomachs with their asses in the air remind one of electric pencil sharpeners.

Conversations in the orgy room should be kept to a minimum. Grunts, groans, notices that "I'm coming," and invitations to do it in a room instead are acceptable; discussions of the weather, ex-lovers, favorite lubricants, the quality of the darkness, and the pros and cons of cockrings are not.

If you are looking for a wonderfully spiritual union with a kindred spirit, you are in the wrong place.

Do not assume that the guys walking into walls are on some weird new drug; most likely, they have just left their glasses in their lockers. It is better to look good than to see good.

Once in a while, do your good deed for the gay: let an old troll suck your cock. Such magnanimous gestures are duly recorded by the Great Faggot in the Sky, and when you are an old troll, the favors will be returned in kind. Yes, Virginia, that's the way it works.

Please realize that bathrooms, even those at the tubs, do have legitimate purposes. Giving someone a blowjob in a cubicle while outside the locked door seven guys are turning various shades of green will not make you popular.

If you are tempted to wear a Lacoste shirt with your towel, understand that many people will find it a capital offense.

Finish what you start.

If you see a man in a room with a can of Crisco, a thick belt, and a bottle of poppers neatly arrayed on the little table before entering be certain you know the purpose of all three items.

When it's past the wrist is not the time to say "no".

It's okay to bring your own rope; it's not okay to tie yourself up.

Spending seventy-two consecutive hours at the tubs will neither destroy your reputation nor greatly enhance it.

If you are at the baths busily cheating on your lover, don't make a scene should you discover him there.

If you are at the baths and you see your father there, tell him you're resting.

If you are at the baths and you see your boss there, it is best not to blackmail him. Just do whatever he says. Trust me Virginia, you'll be rewarded on your next bonus or salary increase.

If you are at the baths and you see your brother there, head for the darkest corner - especially if you have all straight porn at home.

If you are at the baths and you see your Uncle, you might as well just leave - you know how much Uncles fuck you over.

People who say, "I've never done that before," should be informed that the ability to deep throat is not genetic.

Those who lose the keys to their rooms or lockers are never heard from again.

The law of increasing good looks: People tend to become more attractive the longer you are there.

In the dark all cats are gray, but ten inches is still better than six inches.

Men with small cocks can be sexually tremendous if they are technically proficient, but men with big dicks don't have to know a damn thing.

Doing it for England is as valid a reason for doing it as any.

A primitive tribe in Borneo does not have a word for "no" in its language.
Natives deny sexual favors by looking mournful and saying, "I'd like to, but I just came."

After you've been fucked by twelve guys in the orgy room, you will never again convince anyone with your coy routine.

Asking to borrow someone's cockring is even more tasteless than asking to borrow someone's comb.

Law of maximum discomfort: When they call your room number or locker number to the front desk you will inevitably be in a position impossible to get out of quickly without seriously injuring yourself.

You can cause a panic by yelling, "There's a man in room 379!"

For a real hoot, go to the baths without having used alcohol or drugs. It is truly amazing how fabulously you will be able to make out when you are the only one there in a solid state.

Giggling is not a correct response to, "Wanna fuck?"

If you can remember the title of the porno movie that was showing in the "rest section", you did not have a good time.

It is pointless to consider why guys who won't even talk to you at the bars are so eager to suck your cock at the baths.

Spending more than two hours with one number at the baths makes you two "an item."
More than four hours makes you engaged. On a good night, it is possible to commit bigamy.

For some unknown reason, it is considered embarrassing to make it with someone you already know.

No one ever believes the line, "We're really not lovers."

At all times, remember that tubbing is a participation, not a spectator sport. (Hmm..Olympics here we come)

Spending hours deciding what to wear to the tubs is a particularly inane waste of time.

Never, NEVER, NEVER try to explain the baths to heterosexuals.

Possession of more than three bath cards makes you a serious faggot.

George's law of the weight room: People working out are doing it for your benefit, not theirs.

Formal attire means a black jockstrap.

Contrary to popular belief, one can indeed be too clean.

You can never be too rich, too muscular, or have too big of a dick.

Believe it or not, it is possible to have good sex without using poppers. A man in New Jersey claims to do it all the time.

And those are the Rules Of The Baths. Use them wisely and pass the knowledge along to those newcomers who may need it.


SPEAKING OF BATHS: HERE'S DOM DELUISE, KAYE BALLARD IN DRAG AND A TALENT SHOW WITH RITA MORENO AS EMCEE!

THE PERILS OF MARIHUANA!

These filmmakers were so twitched out over it that they actually misspelled weird in the in this trailer!

THE CUTEST!

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

CHI CHI LARUE'S BIG SLOPPY OEPENING

IN ADDITION TO DROPPING 60 POUNDS, CHI CHI HAS ALSO OPENED AN ADULT EMPORIUM IN FAGULOUS WEST HOLLYWOOD.



CLICK HERE FOR MORE PIX: THESWORD.COM

TIDINGS OF COMFORTER AND JOY!

YOU KNOW THE SEX IS GOOD WHEN YOU ARE LICKING THE BEDSPREAD!

CANNOT WAIT!

A friend has been working on Sasha Baron Cohen 's film starring his german fashion fag character Bruno--and it is supposed to be completely hysterical. And then this tidbit really makes me salivate:

BRAON MOCKS MADONNA

THIS IS A SAD REFLECTION OF AMERICA

VIA HUFFPO:

MSNBC is reporting that the Bristol Palin and Levi Johnston may receive up to $300,000 for the first pictures of their son Tripp.

The price didn't soar immediately, according to the sources, because Sarah Palin stories just didn't sell all that well for the weeklies on newsstands.

The drug-related arrest of Johnston's mother, however, caused the price tag for the photos to go up.

NEW MEANING TO JUICY BOOTYHOLE!

CUTTING ROOM GETS THE CHOP

Legendary comedian Joan Rivers will play the final show at the popular venue The Cutting Room on January 13, after which the club will close its doors. Showtime is at 7:30 PM, with $30 tickets available at 212-352-3101 or online at www.SpinCycleNYC.com. Rivers is also playing the club January 6-7. Proceeds from her stand-up shows benefit God's Love We Deliver and Guide Dogs for the Blind. The Cutting Room is located at 19 West 24 Street in Chelsea.

The Cutting Room has also been home to a number of drag cabaret shows, from artists including Jackie Beat, Brini Maxwell, Shequida, Flotilla DeBarge, Mimi Imfurst, Murray Hill, and others. Miss Ritchfield 1981 will play the club for the last time on New Year's Eve; Dina Martina returns to the club January 4-9. Tickets are available at www.SpinCycleNYC.com, or at 212-352-3101.

The Cutting Room is closing due to an untenable rent increase, with the building's landlord demanding more than double the current rent. It is only the latest New York intimate performance venue to close; in recent years, venues from Fez to CBGB have shuttered due to the hostile real estate market. The Cutting Room is owned by actor Chris Noth and musician Steve Walter, who are investigating new spaces in hopes of reopening later this year.

Joan Rivers has made the 125 seat venue her home base for four years, using the club to workshop new material. The tiny space has been extremely popular with top talent; among the performers who have graced its stage are Sting, Alanis Morissette, Norah Jones, James Blunt, John Mayer, Carly Simon, Ronnie Spector, Tommy Chong, John Legend, Jimmy Webb, Tenacious D, Eric Hutchinson, and Salt 'n' Pepa.

DINA MARTINA: ALIVE AT THE CUTTING ROOM!
3 Performances Only! January 4th, 5th & 8th



DINA IN P'TOWN THIS PAST SEASON COVERING WHITNEY HOUSTON'S CLASSIC, THE GREATEST LOVE OF ALL

I DON'T EVEN REMEMBER FILMING THIS!

NO SHE DIDN'T!

KATHY GRIFFIN (SORTOF) OUTS CNN'S ANDERSON COOPER AT CNN'S NYE BROADCAST! She has a history of getting banned from chat show--I wonder if she'll be co-hosting next year?

DADDY GET AT ME!

THIS IS AS FRUSTRATING AS IT IS HILARIOUS!

Barkley: All I Really Wanted Was Oral Sex by TMZ Staff



This may be the very best police report of 2008. When Charles Barkley was busted in Arizona early this morning for DUI, he told cops he ran a stop sign because he was in a hurry to get some oral sex.

According to the officer who wrote the report, "He told me that he ran the stop sign because he was in a hurry to pick up the girl I saw get in the passenger seat."

The officer continues: "He asked me to admit that she was 'hot.' He asked me, 'You want the truth?' When I told him I did he said, 'I was gonna drive around the corner and get a b**w job. He then explained that she had given him a 'b**w job' one week earlier and said it was the best one he had ever had in his life."

The report says when Barkley was taken to the station, he told one of the employees, "I'll tattoo my name on your ass" if he helped "get him out of the DUI." According to the report, "He laughed and then quickly corrected himself and said, 'I'll tattoo your name on my ass' and then laughed again."