YOUR CUTE ANIMAL VIDS FOR THE WEEK

I AM MARU THE STUNT CAT




THE ANIMAL ODD COUPLE

HEE HEE!

LOOK MA, NO ARMS!

THIS IS ASTOUNDING!

KENNY DASH BIRTHDAY WEEK

MS. DASH IS ONE OF THE MOST UNDERRATED COMIC QUEENS IN NYC. I'M NOT TOO SURE WHY SHE DRESSES AS MARILYN MONROE FOR EVERY GIG--AND SHE'S CELEBRATING 30 YEARS IN SHOW BIZ!!--BUT I AM SURE THAT SHE'S A RIOT AS A STAND-UP. IT'S HER BIRTHDAY WEEK AND SHE'S CELEBRATING WItH WITH A GRUELING WORK SCHEDULE INCLUDING:

SUN AFTERNOON BRUNCH SHOWS 5/24 LIPS RESTAURANT 12PM-4PM
SUN NIGHT DINNER SHOW 5/24 LIPS RESTAURANT 7PM-11PM
MON NIGHT BINGO 5/25 STONEWALL INN 9PM - 2AM
TUES NIGHT BINGO 5/26 EVOLVE BAR 10PM-1AM

AND OF COURSE, SHE HAS BEEN HOSTING SPLASH'S POPULAR STUD SEARCH FOR 17 YEARS! IN CLUB LIFE, THAT'S A CENTURY. HERE'S HER PRESS RELEASE.

Every Saturday, Kenny Dash hosts the extremely salacious Stud Search contest, where America's finest and fittest vie for a TWO HUNDRED DOLLAR weekly cash prize. This institution, now in its 17th year, has been often copied but never duplicated. With her signature wit and decidedly Long Island-ish attire, Ms. Dash is able to coax the shyness out of just about any and every lad onstage.



New dancers, wanting to get to a booking at Splash, along with gay boys and straight boys all looking to make a few bucks show up religiously. Whether they are trying to snatch some cash or whether it is to show off their buff results from years in the gym, or simply to strut their considerable stuff, the guys seem to come from all corners, and keep the audience titillated as our hostess puts them through their paces.

“This is a sort of the Gong Show meets the making of a male model” raves 
The Guide Magazine. To enter The Stud Search Contest, arrive by 8:30pm and sign up with Kenny Dash

ARE YOU READY FOR THESE FASHIONS?

AIDS WARNONG!

To all of you approaching 50 or have REACHED 50 and past, this email is especially for you......... ....





SENIOR CITIZENS ARE THE NATION'S LEADING CARRIERS OF AIDS!



HEARING AIDS

BAND AIDS

ROLL AIDS

WALKING AIDS

MEDICAL AIDS

GOVERNMENT AIDS

MOST OF ALL,

MONETARY AID TO THEIR KIDS!

Not forgetting HIV (Hair is Vanishing)

PHYLLIS DILLER ON HER PLASTIC SURGERY!

INTERSPERSED WITH CLIPS OF HER ZANY HUMOR! INCLUDES A TOUR OF HER CLOSET WITH A HAT MONTAGE! PRICELESS!

NYC HAPPENINGS

MONICA CASANOVA EXHIBIT



Her release:

Monica Casanova is an underground visual artist and fashion designer living and working in Mexico City and New York. For more than twenty years,she has been a leading figure in the various underground movements in Mexico City. She has worked with rock bands, alternative theater with figures such as Juan Jose Gurrola. She has also performed with Katia Tirado for Ex Teresa Arte Actual (Mexico City). Monica has done several performances as a lady wrestler, transforming it in a new form of art in Arena Mexico. Monice has helped it gain recognition in the multimedia art events, which has led to inspiration for Mexican artists like Laureana Toledo, Francis Alys and Dj Chrysler, who shot Monica as a icon figure.

In New York she has collaborated with Patricia Field making the installations of her famous window displays. The art in Bergdorf Goodman's window displays were Monica's space of creativity for a year, as well. She was part of a show in Deitch Project with Kembra Phaler doing limited edition pieces of 'hoodies' and 't-shirts' that were sold to several art collectors from New York.

Monica has done performances in Susan Bartsch's events with multiple fashion looks that she used to reinvent herself over and over. She has been photographed as part of the fashion icons gang of New York for Paper Magazine.

She has been featured as an iconoclast figure in publications such as V Magazine, Paper Magazine, Celeste, Rude Magazine, Black Book, Nylon Japan and Nylon Mexico for which she just received a full interview for their first issue. She also has published her photos in numerous publications.

Her last exhibition was held in the Museum of Estonia showcasing Mexican wrestlers.

THE VOLUPTUOUS HORROR OF KAREN BLACK--THE BEST LOOK ON EARTH!



Monica considers her daughter, Amanita, her best piece of art. Amanita is part of the theatrical death rock band The Voluptuous Horror of Karen Black.

BUNNY NOTE: Amanita is also a Wigstock fan who joined me onstage in 2004 (?) for a hilarious moment which can only be found on my dvd, RATED X FOR XTRA-RETARDED.

MORE INFO ON ZAPATISTA

DAYLLE DEANNA SCHWARTZ, A FORMER SCHOOLTEACHER WHO DECIDED TO CHANGE HER LIFE'S COURSE AND ENTER THE MUSIC BIZ. SHE SCORED A RAP HIT IN THE 80'S BUT HAS MAINLY REMAINED BEHIND THE SCENES SINCE THEN, PUBLISHING SEVERAL BOOKS AND E-NEWSLETTERS WITH GREAT ADVICE. SINCE THE MUSIC INDUSTRY IS REFORMULATING ITSELF ONCE A WEEK, HER UP TO DATE FREE TIPS ARE WELL WORTH A VISIT AT HER LATEST SEMINAR:



Tuesday, June 2nd Marketing Music in Today's Music Industry

Apple Store SOHO 6:30PM 103 Prince Street

HERE IS A TASTE OF DAYLLE'S MAGIC IN PODCAST FORM:


Stop Being a Doormat! Lessons From An Expert (Podcast)

Do you want to switch careers but just don’t know how? Do you wish for a better life, but are too scared to take a risk? Are you stuck, and do you procrastinate?

If any of these sentiments ring true for you, then listen to today’s podcast. I interview one of the most impressive women I have met in some time: Daylle Deanna Schwartz.

Once a typical school teacher, Daylle accepted a challenge from her students to create a rap record. She hates stereotypes, and it bothered her when the kids told her that a white woman could never be a successful rapper.
So she set out to prove them wrong, and taught herself the skill. In no time she became known as the “rappin teach”, and her life would be changed forever:

Daylle Deanna Schwartz Interview: Daylle’s story is one of true inspiration, and she is an excellent example of how anything is possible once you have belief and passion.

The interview takes you through her incredible ride starting a record label, becoming a best selling author, appearing on Oprah and Howard Stern, and eventual her journey into the world of self-empowerment. And yes, you will also hear her rap a bit!
In all, I found Daylle’s stories highly motivational for my own life. I know I can make this blog as big and meaningful as I dream, for example, and can attract anyone I want to interview on my podcast “Conversations to Change the World”.
Creating the ideal life for yourself is worth the risk! I hope you find Daylle’s experiences as meaningful as I do.
I also highly recommend you check out Daylle’s blog Lessons From a Recovering Doormat where she talks about her experiences and gives advice.

THE DAYLE DEANNA SCHWARTZ INTERVIEW PODCAST FOR THOSE NEEDING A LITTLE LIFT: LISTEN


VETERAN SCENESTER DESMOND CADOGAN WITH WHM I'VE KIKI'ED WITH SINCE AREA IS CELEBRATING HIS BDAY AT SUZANNE BARTSCH'S VANDAM SOIREE.



JOHN KELLY REVIVES HIS UNCANNY JONI MITCHELL IMPERSONATION!



HELP DIG UP THE DIRT ON TABBOO!

FROM FACEBOOK:

alLuPiNiT the new york city environ mental magazine is pleased to announce that we arenow an official 501C organization !!!

to celebrate we are presently gathering material for or third issue:

alLuPiNiT:

anything, everything, all things TABBOO!



soz...
send us what-ever-any-thing you would like to see in our magazine
that refers to our friend Stephen Tashjian / TABBOO!
& we will xerox it !!!

poems, paintings, patterns, stories, memories, pictures, drawings, movies, mayhem, fan mail, gossip, photos, e -phemera... quotes... dish... or any combination thereof... you get the scene... as long as all roads lead to... TABBOO!

ASAP
by June 20, 2009 !!!
pass this around fast

please include all known sources,
dates and known information regarding
your submission (s)

& send to: rafgoblin2@gmail.com

or to:

alLuPiNiT P.O. Box 1724 Canal Street Station New York, NY 10013

We will publish & party as soon as we have everything together and have raised the $... so if you are in a position to & would like to make a tax-deductible contribution, make your check payable to alLuPiNiT magazine, NYC & we will send you a formal receipt for your records. Advance orders (also tax-deductible) can be made for $10 + $2 shipping.

PAPER MAG'S MR. MICKEY'S SWEET 16 (YEARS AT PAPER)--AND I'LL BE YOUR DJ!



56 AND STILL GOING STRONG, BARBARA HERR IS A NYC TS PERFROMER WTH A NEW DOC ON HER TRANSFORMATION



SUNDAY: The fourth incarnation of the food and music party series known as GASTROPHONIC STIMULATION



The theme? BLINTZKRIEG.

That's right kids, your eyes don't deceive.

Blintzes are the theme, Jewish crepes. To celebrate Shavuos, the Jewish holiday celebrating the revelation of The Lord's Alleged Word at Mt Sinai. AAAAHHH!!!

Blintzes and Songs of Revelation. Nu, what else do you need ???

Bowery Poetry Club 7PM SUNDAY 308 Bowery b/w Houston & Bleeker



with Amazing Foodies

Don Jacobs - PhB (Dr. of Blintzology)
Jacob Baskin - Pastry Samurai
Jennifer Joungblood
Justina N - redefines the concepts of "soul food" and Jewish identity

with An Amazing Rock Star Studded Absurd Circus Cabaret Band!!!
Jordan Brooks - bass
Michael Winograd - clarinet, slide whistle, cow bell
Brian Gelfand - piano plunk
Brian Landrus - bari sax ooomph
Shawn Shafner - vox
Ayelet Rose Gottleib - vox
Xavier Smith - vox
Mike Savino - electric banjo plink
James Windsor-Wells - drums bash bing
MANY MORE TBA

$12 for Unparalleled Satisfaction

AND AS FOR ME...



ALSO, YOU CAN CATCH ME SPINNING FUN DANCE MUSIC FROM ALL ERAS TONIGHT AT ROCKIT!, THE HOT NEW FRIDAY NIGHT AFFAIR AT AMALIA< WITH THE BEST LOOKING GUYS I'VE EVER SEEN! THIS NEW PARTY IS A HOOT! AND I'LL BE SPINNING DISCO AT SPLASH SUNDAY AT FREE TEA FROM 7-11.




ALSO, AMFAR IS HONORING ME ON JUNE 11TH, ALONG WITH RAT FIELD AND CLEVE JONES OF THE AIDS QUILT FAME AT A GALA DINNER AT THE EDISON BALLROOM. HOSTED BY ALAN CUMMING, THE NIGHT WILL FEATURE APPEARANCES AND PERFORMANCES BY DEBBIE HARRY, ARI GOLD, FLOTILLA DEBARGE, CHRISTIAN SIRIANO, AND CHEYENNE JACKSON. WITH DJ BILLY BEYOND. THE TICKETS START AT $100 WHICH AIN'T CHEAP, BUT IF YOU CAN AFFORD IT, DO KEEP IN MIND THAT CHARITIES HAVE BEEN HIT THE HARDEST BY THE RECESSION.

THE THREE HONOREES WERE SELECTED FOR THEIR COURAGE--I'M ASSUMING THAT IN MY CASE THEY MEAN THE COURAGE TO LEAVE MY HOME IN OUTFITS SUCH AS THIS ONE! YES, YOU READ IT RIGHT, I'M BEING HONORED!



MORE INFO/TICKETS: amFAR

THIS IS THE CUTEST!

I just think it's so darling that Obama is turning our women and even underage girls in muslim whores! KIDDING! I wonder if Shakira, whose OBJECTION TANGO this little angel is dancing to, has piqued an interest in the ancient art of belly-dancing. Shakira is so overtly sexual that I love to watch her. Her moves definitely send the message "I can fuck your brains out" which I think is fantastic since so many women in this country are still conditioned to think of their sexual urges as inappropriate. A large percentage of married women have never even had an orgasm! Is that grounds for divorce or what?

PAC MAN COMES TO LIFE!

IMA ROBOT: LOVERS IN CAPTIVITY

THE CONTOUR QUEENS OF SAN JUAN!

THESE GIRLS HAVE GOT IT DOWN. I ALWAYS WISH I COULD DO BETTER BLENDING AND HIGHLIGHTS BUT THESE GALS HAVE IT DOWN TO A SCIENCE. AND THE POUTS!





HUNDREDS MORE PICS ON HER MYSPACE PAGE.

LOOKING FOR SOME SICK NEW MATERIAL?

CHECK OUT THE SOUNDTRACK FOR KAMA SUTRA, A SEX-THEMED MUSICAL WHICH HAS WOWED AUDIENCES IN CHICAGO FOR YEARS. CLICK HERE TO PREVIEW AND PURCHASE SONGS LIKE THAT THING ON YOUR LIP, MEET MY CLITORIS AND GOT MILF?.

OBAMA TO FACE GAY PROTESTORS

FROM TOWLEROAD.COM:

President Obama, the alleged "fierce advocate" for LGBT rights, is scheduled to attend a Democratic Party fundraiser at the Beverly Hilton tonight, one day after White House spokesman Robert Gibbs refused to offer any official response to the Supreme Court's decision to uphold Proposition 8 in California.

MORE: TOWLEROAD

HEE HEE!

CA HIGH SCHOOL CROWNS MALE PROM QUEEN

HER HIGHNESS SERGIO GARCIA



LATIMES

CROSS DRESSING FOR SUCCESS!

CHARLIE'S ANALS

THE CARRIE WHITE GUIDE TO PROM WEAR NO-NO'S

FROM CANOFWHUPASS.COM:

They're All Going to Laugh at You: The Carrie White Guide to Unfortunate Prom Fashions

Our favorite telekinetic prom queen/blood soaked mass murderess, Carrie White, has emerged from her grave to shop around a whimsical how-to book. Released in time for prom season, we are thrilled to provide an excerpt below.

Hi! My name is Carrie White. If you're like me, the word "prom" conjures visions of tuxedo-clad jocks barfing out of the moon roofs of rented limos, and be-gowned cheerleaders having their ankles pushed behind their ears in the back of Ford Tauruses. Other sentimental images: mayhem, electrocutions, karo syrup with red food coloring. It's a momentous night in a gal's life, and it's important to get everything just right. Don't believe me? Ask the Bates High School class of 1976, may they rest in peace.



I remember when Tommy Ross asked me to the prom. I thought I'd swoon! And when my sweet mother (may she rest in peace) offered her customary sage advice, "they're all going to laugh at you," I knew it was destined to be an unforgettable affair. With that in mind, what follows are examples of ways in which unfortunate fashion choices can make an otherwise joyous event go awry (though not as awry as a prom can go, given the right cocktail of pig blood, demon-possessed fire hoses and bisected gym teachers).

When a guy and a gal get ready for the big night, it's important to be coordinated. For instance, I knew Tommy Ross (may he rest in peace) was going to wear a dreamy powder blue tux, and that's why I sewed my own dress out of pink satin, ignoring my dear mother's thoughtful observation that it lasciviously displayed my budding sin pillows.

However, if it's really important to you and your beau to be perfectly matched, it's a mistake to fashion our outfits from the paper in which the local butcher wrapped your lamb shank.

READ THE REST: CANOFWHUPASS

THE GODDESS OF RADIO IS BACK!

After leaving Air America and Nova M, Randi Rhodes' big mouth is wide open again and lordy, have I missed her! Opinionated, smart and funny as hell, Randi now has a free podcast on itunes which you can visit to select her rants and raves on all of the latest news topics. With her military background, she'll be all over this torture pics so make sure and stay tuned. Click HERE to go to her itunes podcast page.

Now broadcasting from DC, you can also catch her on the radio in limited markets which are listed on her website, THERANDIRHODESSHOW.COM

Another former Air America (which now features Montel Jordan???) jock, Thom Hartman is now broadcast on GREEN960 and he's also highly recommended.

GAYS IN THE MILITARY!

FROM AOL NEWS:

Thursday's Telegraph quoted retired U.S. Army Major General Antonio Taguba, who conducted a 2004 investigation into abuse at Iraq's Abu Ghraib prison, as saying the pictures showed "torture, abuse, rape and every indecency."

The newspaper said at least one picture showed an American soldier apparently raping a female prisoner while another is said to show a male translator raping a male detainee.

MORE: AOL.COM

WANDA SYKES ON MICHELLE OBAMA

This fool is hilarious!

NEW SWNE FLU PANIC!

CLORIS LEACHMAN'S NEW "FASHION" LINE

THANK YOU FOR THIS POSE!



We are pleased to introduce Clorisline: an exciting line of versatile, mix and match outfits, designed to flatter a woman’s body.

Lots of fabric to elegantly flow and cover what we don’t want to show, designed to fit even if you are a petite or a plus, easy use, and easy care and incredible prices!



A few basic versatile pieces and the right accessories create many outfits for various occasions. Try our versatile tunic with pull on pants, add a hat, a scarf or a necklace and 1-2-3: be ready in 5 minutes, and customize your outfit throughout the day.

Cloris is not a celebrity who signs her name on any garment. Cloris and Veronique have worked hard together at coming up with the perfect line for you. Cloris’s spirit is in every piece of our “Summer Very Versatile” line.

Any age or any size, you are entitled to look classy, exciting and feel like a star!

MORE: CLORISLINE

WHO SAYS NYC NIGHTLIFE IS DEAD?

It's just seriously ill, as evidenced by this flyer for a Linda Simpson "Romanov The Great" Eastern European bingo extravaganza.



Linda Simpson—Drag Queen Supreme of the Bingo Scene—
Debuts Her Newest Night of Fun—BINGO-SKI—At An Old-World Party Room
Holy Pierogi! Linda Simpson, the reigning queen of downtown Bingo, adds yet another campy—and ethnic—twist to everybody's favorite game of chance with her newest venture, BINGO-SKI, so named for its location, a glorious old-fashion Ukrainian party room.

In keeping with the venue’s Eastern European flavor, Linda is taking a new name for the night: Linda Simpson Romanov the Great. Providing musik (correct spelling!), including plenty of foot-stomping polka numbers, is performance artist Erin Markey. Also on hand to give out all sorts of prizes—from goofy to great—are Bingo Babushka (and hilarious drag performer) Violet Temper and sexy Bingo Boyski (and It go-go boy) Matthew Camp. Expect funny Slavic accents and gaudy ethnic garb galore—all in good fun, of course! And how about some vodka shots as you play? A full bar is available!

There are tentative plans to turn BINGO-SKI into a monthly event (details to come). In the meanwhile, Linda continues to host wildly popular Monday Night Bingo with Murray Hill at Bowery Poetry Club.


WHAT: BINGO-SKI

WHERE: Ukrainian East Village Restaurant (in the party room), 140 Second Ave (between St. Mark’s Place and 9th St), 212-614-3283

WHEN: Thursday, May 28th. Doors open at 7pm; game-time from 7:30 to 10pm.

ADMISSION: $5 includes Bingo card; extra cards are $2 each.

AN AMAZING STORY

In 1986, Peter Davies was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from
Northwestern University .

On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing
with one leg raised in the air. The elephant seemed distressed, so Peter
approached it very carefully.

He got down on one knee and inspected the elephant's foot and found a large
piece of wood deeply embedded in it. As carefully and as gently as he
could, Peter worked the wood out with his hunting knife, after which the
elephant gingerly put down its foot. The elephant turned to face the man,
and with a rather curious look on its face, stared at him for several tense
moments. Peter stood frozen, thinking of nothing else but being trampled.
Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned, and walked away. Peter
never forgot that elephant or the events of that day.

Twenty years later, Peter was walking through the Chicago Zoo with his
teenaged son. As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the
creatures turned and walked over to near where Peter and his son Cameron
were standing. The large bull elephant stared at Peter, lifted its front
foot off the ground, then put it down. The elephant did that several times
then trumpeted loudly, all the while staring at the man.

Remembering the encounter in 1986, Peter couldn't help wondering if this
was the same elephant. Peter summoned up his courage, climbed over the
railing and made his way into the enclosure. He walked right up to the
elephant and stared back in wonder. The elephant trumpeted again, wrapped
its trunk around one of Peter’s legs and slammed his ass against the
railing, killing him instantly.

Probably wasn't the same elephant.

GAY MARCH IN NYC THIS TUESDAY

N TUESDAY, MAY 26 IN RESPONSE TO
CALIFORNIA SUPREME COURT'S SAME-SEX MARRIAGE RULING

ADVOCATES FOR MARRIAGE EQUALITY WILL REAFFIRM
SUPPORT FOR SAME-SEX MARRIAGE IN NEW YORK STATE
AS GOVERNOR- AND ASSEMBLY-SUPPORTED BILL NOW FACES SENATE


NEW YORK CITY (May 22, 2009) -- Several thousand civil rights
advocates will march across Manhattan on Tuesday in support of
marriage equality in New York State and across America. The march
will follow Tuesday’s decision by the California Supreme Court on the
legality of Proposition 8, the constitutional amendment passed by
voters last November, which overturns the right to same-sex marriage
in the state.

Demonstrators will meet at Sheridan Square (7th Avenue and West 4th
Street) at 6pm on Tuesday evening after the California Supreme Court
decision. The peaceful march will proceed east to Union Square for a
rally in support of same-sex marriage in New York State and across
America.

ATTENTION MEDIA: REPORTERS ARE URGED TO ARRIVE AT SHERIDAN SQUARE BY
5:30 FOR PRE-MARCH INTERVIEWS WITH MARRIAGE EQUALITY ADVOCATES AND
SAME-SEX MARRIED COUPLES.

"Whether the California Supreme Court decision is a victory for
equality or for homophobia, we will still march,” said Corey Johnson,
co-organizer of the protest. “And we will continue to demand
legalization of same-sex marriage in New York State.”

Before Prop. 8 was passed, 18,000 same-sex couples were married in
California. The Court decision will decide whether Prop. 8
invalidates these marriages, and whether all same-sex marriages are
outlawed in the state.

In New York State. Governor David Paterson has presented a bill to
legalize same-sex marriage. It recently passed in the State Assembly,
but faces resistance in the State Senate.

New York’s marriage equality groups (including MENY) are well
organized, speak with one voice and are committed to seeing the state
join its neighbors in passing marriage equality legislation this year.

A protest against Proposition 8 drew more than 10,000 marchers last
November 12 in Lincoln Square and Columbus Circle. A national day of
protest against Prop. 8 drew millions on Saturday, November 15, and
is recognized as the largest civil rights demonstration in U.S. history.

To stay informed about demonstrations for marriage equality in New
York and across the country, visit : DAYOFDECISION

THE TRUTH BEHIND FRED PHELPS!

In case you don't recognize the name, Fred is the preacher who shows up with his rag-tag family and supporters to protest at soldiers' funerals around the country--because he hates gays. THis is so retarded. I wonder if he ever saw this if he's human enough to have a giggle at it. It's so retarded!

The WBC news video Fred Phelps doesn't want us to see ! ! ! - watch more funny videos

BUMPER NUTS: DOES YOUR TRUCK HAVE BALLS?

PLENTY MORE COLORS (INCLUDING BRASS!) at TTRUCK-NUTS.COM

OBAMA'S "PROLONGED DETENTION"

RACHEL MADDOW BREAKS DOWN OBAMA'S CONTRADICTORY LOGIC IN HIS GITMO SPEECH YESTERDAY: MUST-SEE TV!



Obama's lengthy and detailed national security address was designed, in part, to tamp down criticism that his administration was abandoning core promises and constitutional principles. But while early reviews of the president's speech among members of the press were adulatory, the people Obama most needed to placate were decidedly unimpressed.

"Obviously, he is a very effective speaker, but of course we have major problems with what he is doing," said Michael Ratner, president of the Center for Constitutional Rights. "He wraps himself in the Constitution, talks about American values and then proceeds to violate them."

MORE: HUFFPO

OBAMA IRRITATED BY THE MEETING WITH CIVIL RIGHTS ORGANIZATIONS: RACHEL MADDOW ON MSNBC



ANOTHER VERY SCARY RECENT MADDOW STORY ABOUT HOW THE BORN-AGAIN IDIOT PRES WAS TRICKED INTO THE WAR IN IRAQ BY PLACING BIBLICAL QUOTES AND ARTWORK TO REINFORCE BUSH'S CRUSADE/AXIS OF EVIL MENTALITY.

RECYCLING HAS GONE TOO FAR!

THE LATEST FROM LADY ESTHER GYN:

ANNA WINTOUR WEARS PRADA

RARE INTERVIEW WITH VOGUE'S ANNA WINTOUR FROM 60 MINUTES:


Watch CBS Videos Online

HORNY ALL NIGHT LONG

A ZANY, SUMMERY NEW LOOK FROM LONDON SCENESTER/DJ TASTY TIM!

CLEVELAND'S NEXT TOP MODEL: SEXY WALK

FOR SOME REASON, MY COMPUTER IS NUTTING UP AND I DON'T GET ANY SOUND ON YOUTUBE VIDS, BUT THE VISUALS ALONE ON THIS ARE A RIOT!

A DIRTY OLD JOKE

ONE OF MY OLD STANDARDS--WITH EVEN MORE WOODEN DELIVERY THAN MINE!

DEPRESSION BRUNCH AT JOE'S PUB

YOU MAY KNOW SOME OF THE OTHER PERFORMERS, BUT LET ME ASSURE YOU THAT THE DEMENTED TAMMY FAYE STARLITE IS A HOOT. I EVEN BOUGHT HERE CD AT THE LAST SHOW OF HERS I SAW. OF COURSE, THAT WAS BEFORE THE RECESSION! TRANSGENDERED PIANIST OUR LADY J--SOMEHOW THAT DOESN'T SOUND QUITE RIGHT BUT IT'S BETTER THAN ORGANIST--IS ALSO A SIGHT TO BEHOLD!

Barbara Maier Presents:

DEPRESSION BRUNCH: IDOL IDLE IDYLL WORSHIP {SACRED AND PROFANE}
Sunday, 5/31, 12pm at Joe's Pub (425 Lafayette St., NYC) with the recession-friendly price of $15.00

Featuring… Justin Bond, Tammy Faye Starlite and Toby Keith Hartel, Our Lady J, and Lisa Faith Phillips who will bring their sure-fire spirit-lifting performances to help you through these dark days.
Enjoy songs of depression, despondency and despair, and also get tips on how to become a successful mistress (a gal's gotta make a living - witness Rielle Hunter).

Hosted by Miss Tammy Faye Starlite (who will explain why Jesus hates Obama)

BRING YOUR OWN BROWN BAG BRUNCH!

Come be a part of the solution - not the problem.

http://www.joespub.com/component/option,com_shows/task,view/Itemid,40/id,4573

P.S. - This counts as church.

VENTURA PINS HASSEL-HACK

The Republicans are howling over Nancy Pelosi's supposed "lie" that she was briefed on torture. Jessie Ventura actually breaks this down to the ladies of The View quite well, making the important point that even if she did lie, the larger issue is DID WE USE TORTURE? Not, OOH, SHE KNEW ABOUT IT AND LIED. Pelosi is actually calling for the release of the records to vindicate herself, and now other evidence suggests that the CIA isn't terribly organized or truthful with their own records at the time. Obama is too popular for the Republicans to attack, so they are swooping down on Pelosi. After all the lies the previous administration told, the Pelosi lie, if it even occured, wouldn't even have the life that this story has had in the mainstream media if the mainstream media wasn't so conservative. I never thought I'd say I was glad that The View exists. I even like Sherrie Shepard's fall!

"MY DADDY ATE MY EYES"

VIA HUFFPO:

THE THREE DEGREES: TSOP

I think this video might start off with one of the hottest dance moves of all time--GET UP OFF THE FUCKING FLOOR! Too much!

NOT BROKE STRAIGHT BOYS!

SWEETIE AND DANIEL NARDICIO'S NEW TRASHY THURSDAY NIGHT:



AND FROM THE SITE THAT WILL SEND DOWN SOME OF THEIR STRAIGHT--AS IN LEGS STRAIGHT UP--BOYS TO THE PARTY!

We had to really convince Jamie to get fucked by Aiden. This guy was straight as an arrow and if he didn't have bills to pay he wouldn't even have stopped by. We had to strike while the boy was broke! We got this cutie to spread his ass cheeks for a few hundred dollars. He got that pretty white ass gaped for green. Enjoy!



(BUNNY NOTE: GEE, I'M GETTIN' REAL WORRIED THAT WITH THIS RECESSION, A LOT OF GUYS MIGHT BE FORCED TO GO GAY!)

THE TEMPTATION OF PUNKY

HAPPY AGAIN

FROM YOUTUBE:

Merrill Womach is a Christian singer who had survived a plane crash leaving him scarred from third degree burns over most of his body. Here he is singing to a group of patents in a hospital burn ward.

2009 PROM PICS IN!

NOT WITH THEY BABY!




I ACTUALLY LOVE THIS ONE!



YUM! I WOULD PREFER TO SEE HIM WEARING NOTHING!



I'M A PIG WHO LIKES TO SHOW IT'S LEGS, TOO. AND IT IS SMART OF HER TO ACCENT HER BOSOMBAS.



BUT THE NECKLACE HANGING OFF THE ASS IS INSANE!

DIANE PERNET ON JACKIE CURTIS

I first met Jackie Curtis at Max's Kansas City in 1970. I was hanging with Taylor Mead and Sylvia Miles and was making "underground films" with Taylor. Jackie and I hit it off right away and I thought that she was so interesting that I wanted to put her in my films. She usually wore a cheap wig that she would spray with RAID because she was afraid of bugs.

MORE: DIANEPERNET

AMERICA'S GOT TALENT

SOMETHING FISHY ABOUT THIS BOY'S COCK

A 2cm long fish apparently found it's way into the penis of a 14-year-old boy from India in a bizarre medical case.
The patient was admitted to hospital with complaints of pain, dribbling urine and acute urinary retention spanning a 24-hour period. According to the boy, the fish slipped into his penis while he was cleaning his aquarium at home.

Professor Vezhaventhan and Professor Jeyaraman, who treated the boy and later wrote a paper on the case, explained: "While he was cleaning the fish tank in his house, he was holding a fish in his hand and went to the toilet for passing urine. When he was passing urine, the fish slipped from his hand and entered his urethra and then he developed all these symptoms."

After detecting the fish in the boy's bladder, Vezhaventhan and Jeyaraman used a technique known as cystourethroscopy to insert a special set of forceps down the patient's penis. Unfortunately, the fish was just too slippery to grip, so they resorted to using a rigid ureteroscope with a tool attached that is normally used for removing bladder stones.

The fish the urologists removed, which Practical Fishkeeping believes to be a small member of the Betta genus, measured 2cm long and 1.5cm wide.

NOTEWORTHY NEW BLOG

SINCE I HAVE BEEN SOOOOOOOO PITIFUL AND PREOCCUPIED TO POST ANYTHING ON MY OWN BLOG LATELY, THE LEAST I COULD DO IS POINT OUT AN ENTERTAINING NEW BLOG BY NICO, BELOW. SHE'S A TWISTED SISTER!

NICO ON FARRAH'S CANCER:

Poor, Poor Farrah Fawcett-
What crueler a fate than cancer of the shit hole? Reavis and I decided that If our beloved Ms. Fawcett (to you!)
was going to perish at the hands as something as vicious as ass cancer, we ought to give her the respect she deserves by
naming said cancer after her.

Alas-
Notify the medical books, what was once cancer of the ass is now to be referred to as
"Jill MunRoeHole Sickness" from here on out... until forever.
Seeing as how I'll probably succumb to "JIll MunRoeHole Sickness" myself, I wanted it to at least have a much more delicious name.

Ladies&Gents... KEEP YOUR MUNROEHOLES HEALTHY! Get your annual assogram... or whatever they do to
make sure your cornhole is clean.


PLENTY OF SICK PICS ON HER SITE AS WELL. LIKE THIS ONE:



TO SEE THESE AND MORE--LIKE A WALRUS WITH AN ERECTION--VISIT: TMARANICO

LARRY TEE'S NEW ALBUM CLUB BADD

I GOT MY START IN ATLANTA, GA GO-GO DANCING FOR LARRY TEE'S FIRST BAND, THE NOW EXPLOSION. YEARS LATER, HE'S STILL MAKING MUSIC AND HIS NEW ALBUM FEATURES AMANDA LEPORE, WITH WHOM HE WAS INTERVIEWED FOR BLACKBOOK.COM.



A SAMPLE FROM THE INTERVIEW:

BLACKBOOK: Your first job in New York was as a dominatrix, correct?

AL: When I first moved to New York, my roommate at the time was doing that, and she said, “Oh, you can make a lot of money doing that.” And I did. It was sort of like acting. I think it helped me later with the David LaChapelle stuff because sometimes it was written out in a script, exactly what they wanted. And sometimes they would ask you to do really crazy things. There was one guy who would get off talking about the time, so I would have to saying, “What time is it? I have this appointment,” and, “Oh, now the bus is late.” And then there was this other guy who brought pies in from the bakery, and I would have to throw pies at him.

MOR: EBLACKBOOKMAG

AND HERE'S AN OLD VIDEO OF LARRY TEE'S CALLED COME FLY WITH ME WHICH FEATURES ME SINGING THE HOOK IN A RETARDED NEGLIGEE!

KENNY EVERETT AS BARBRA STREISAND

MADAME ROCKS!

GOP SO DESPERATE THAT IT HAS TO CRITICIZE O'S CONDIMENT CHOICE?

Wow. This Obama is really uppity. He has the nerve to defile the all-American hamburger with a french--yes, as in freedom fries and "old europe"--gourmet mustard. Guess our yellow French's mustard isn't good enough for his socialist-who-probably-wasn't-even-born-in-this-country ass. If condiment choice is all they have to slam Obama on, they might as well give up! Here's the poupon this alarming story, which gets at the heart of why Americans can never fully identify with this exotic, mixed-race dude and his insultingly elitist tastes in mustard!

CAREFUL! IT MAY LOOK INNOCENT, BUT ORDERING THIS CONDMENT ON A BURGER IS TANTAMOUNT TO TREASON!



FROM HUFFPO

"... On the drive down, we stopped at a TGI Friday's and I ordered a cheeseburger. When the waitress brought the food I asked her if she had any Dijon mustard. Dan shook his head.

'He doesn't want Dijon,' he insisted, waving the waitress off. 'Here' - he shoved a yellow bottle of French's mustard in my direction - 'here's some mustard right here.'

The waitress looked confused. 'We got Dijon if you want it,' she said to me.

I smiled. 'That would be great, thanks.' As the waitress walked away, I leaned over to Dan and whispered that I didn't think there were any photographers around."

MORE: HUFFPO

There is actual video on Huffpo of right-wing news hacks making an issue of this. Talk about elevating the discourse! Sheesh!

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

FROM HUFFPO:

Pentagon officials say five Americans are dead after a U.S. soldier opened fire at a U.S. base in Baghdad. They say the attacker is in custody.

The officials say the shootings happened on Camp Liberty at a stress clinic, where troops can go for help with the stresses of combat or stress from personal issues.

One senior military official in Washington says it's unclear whether those killed are workers at the clinic or were there for counseling. He says officials also are unsure whether all the dead are members of the military.

MORE: HUFFPO

Is this guy a random nutter, or is it one of many US soldiers going bonkers from these long and too frequent deployments? The majority of the country want out of the war, but even when the country was behind it, recruitments were so under quota that solders are re-deployed over and over and I think it's driving them nuts. And they aren't getting the proper care back home in between deployments from their medical facilities. Some will never recover from their physical and emotional scars. Some will will just shot up their buddies at Iraq mental health facilities in Iraq like this guy. Please don't be so focused on the economy that you forget the horrors that the military are enduring. Many will continue to be a mess decades after the economy has been revived. My poor, sweet uncle is one.

SICK PARTY INVITE FROM SAO PAOLO

WANDA SYKES AT TEH WHITE HOUSE CORRESPONDENTS DINNER

MAY 15H: TRANSGENDER PROM

"Because it's never too late to your prom the right way", the community center in NYC is holding a prom for trangendered folks and their friends and supporters on May 15th. I think this is adorable. As someone who felt VERY uncomfortable at my junior high school prom in a suit--which I tackily wore with earth shoes and it was light blue polyester pinstripe!--I think this concept is adorable. The theme is 1990's Hollywood, which I'm not even familiar enough to think of one outfit for. Halle Berry's Catwoman, maybe? Anyhoo, for more info, here's the link: GAYCENTER. SOmetime we forget about all of the great work the center does from their various support groups to dances like this one and the regular alcohol-free mixers.

FUTURE DANCE

FROM YOUTUBE:

..how people back in the 60s thought, mankind will dance in the future.
Awesome prediction!

FRE TEA: SUNDAY NIGHT!

I'M IN HOUSTON TONIGHT FOR GUAVA LAMP'S 10TH ANNIVERSARY BUT RACING BACK TOMORROW FOR SUNDAY'S FREE TEA AT SPLASH. I SPIN DISCO CLASSICS FROM 7-11 AND THERE"S NO COVER AND 2-4-1 DRINKS.

THE DYING SWAN: BY THE BALLET TROCKADERO DE MONTECARLO

FROM YOUTUBE:

Performed by Ida Nevasayneva (Paul Ghiselin), member of Les Ballets Trockadero de Montecarlo. For me, the Trock with the better comic ability in the company.

INTERVIEW GONE WRONG

A Toronto street gets a thrill (or chill) when some street trash hijacks his interview. I couldn't figure out how to embed this, but trust me, it's worth the click!

WATCH: EBAUMSWORLD

PRAISE SONG AND DANCE

I actually really like the dancer's dress--she comes in a few minutes in. I love the fullness of the skirt and the gold panels are giving me a Bodymap feeling.

SOLID POTATO SALAD: THE ROSS SISTERS

FROM YOUTUBE:

Never underestimate a woman who can get both legs behind her head and wrap her feet around her face. (HINT: Watch past the first 45 seconds or so. Whoah!)

Solid Potato Salad? No, it's not what you get when you leave the deli container out of the fridge too long. It's a 1940s term for...something (I have no idea what. ) In this classic footage from the movie "Broadway Rhythm" (1944), the Ross sisters, Aggie, Maggie and Elmira, sing and move in ways that don't look humanly possible. Yoga anyone? Movie buffs will recognize the tune as one of the background instrumentals from "The Godfather."

It starts out looking like another kitschy 40's tune, but give it a minute. Things get wild! Now if I can just figure out what apples have to do with potato salad...

PARIS HILTON'S WORLD PEACE PLANS

FROM JONTY SKRUFFF'S CLUB/POP CULTURE NEWLSETTER OBTAINABLE BY CLICKING HERE.

Paris Hilton’s World Peace Plans

Paris Hilton revealed she’s helping to solve the economic crisis by ‘doing ‘a lot of shopping’, this week, telling Tatler she’s bought a Bentley car and diamond encrusted Dolce et Gabbana dress to help the hard-up masses.

The hotel heiress/ amateur porn starlet also revealed she takes partying far more seriously than previously suspected, when quizzed by the high society periodical what she’d do if ever elected US President,

“I’d definitely try to make peace with the countries we are fighting', she declared, “I'd go over to them and throw a party. So they could all get together and get along and stop the war,” she explained.

Paris’ political ambitions emerged just as top people’s newspaper the Sunday Times identified England’s next big thing fashion trend as ‘Protest chic’ and advised that attending anti-capitalist political protests is currently ‘terribly chic’. However, the top people’s newspaper also published a detailed guide to dressing properly on demos, with advice which could pose anglophile Paris more than a few problems.

I'VE BEEN KNITTING AGAIN

THE MOST IRREVERENT T-SHIRTS EVER!

THE SICK FUCK WHO SENT THEM TO ME DIDN'T INCLUDE THE LINK TO THE SITE WHICH SELLS THEM, BUT I'M SURE THAT MY HIGHBROW READERS WOULDN'T DREAM OF BUYING THEM ANYWAY!

BEFORE MUSIC DIES DOCUMENTARY

Got an hour? Check out this doc narrated by Forest Whitaker, featuring interviews with everyone from Erykah Badu to Elvis Costello. The opening segment of Billy Preston dancing in a yellow suit is outrageous--I knew he could tickle the ivories from his brilliant hits like Outa-Space and Nothing From Nothing, but he's as loose as a goose!

DESCRIP:

Narrated by Academy Award® Winner Forest Whitaker, BEFORE THE MUSIC DIES is an unsettling and inspiring look at today’s popular music industry featuring interviews and performances by Erykah Badu, Eric Clapton, Dave Matthews, Branford Marsalis, ?uestlove and a wide variety of others. The documentary film has built a passionate following as “the most important film a music fan will ever see” (XM Radio) by providing “a balanced overview of the state of the rock scene of America” (The Wall Street Journal) and adding “passion to the eternal debate about the industry” (The New York Times). Last year, BEFORE THE MUSIC DIES filmmakers Andrew Shapter and Joel Rasmussen walked away from traditional Hollywood distribution to instead pursue a large-scale grassroots release with B-Side Entertainment. Since its release in November 2006, the film has screened over 200 times in over 130 North American markets with hundreds of additional events anticipated worldwide during 2007. Use this site to learn more about the film, where you can see it, ways you can own it, and - most importantly - how you can get involved in sharing it with others.

WATCH BEFORE MUSIC DIES

WITCH HUNTING MAKES A COMEBACK IN NEW GUINEA

IF THESE ARE THE WITCH HUNTERS, I'D HATE TO SEE THE WITCHES! STILL, OCCASIONALLY I'LL CATCH A STORY LIKE THIS THAT MAKES OUR RELIGIOUS EXTREMISTS LOOK MUILD BY COMPARISON. OF COURSE, DON' FORGET THE WITCH HUNTER WHO WAS IMPORTED FROM AFRICA TO WASILLA, ALASKA--THE HOME OF THEN MAYOR SARAH PALIN. THERE IS YOURUBE VIDEO OF HIM PRAYING HER INTO HER GOVERNORSHIT.



VIA HUFFPO:

Witch hunts, murder and evil in Papua New Guinea

A tide of torture and killing of innocent women linked to 'sorcery' and the 'dark arts' is overwhelming the nation's police. Ramita Navai, in Port Moresby, reports

Nearly all the residents of Koge watched as Julianna Gene and Kopaku Konia were dragged from their homes, to be hung from trees and tortured for several hours with bush knives. No one came forward to help. In the eyes of the villagers, the women were witches. They deserved to die.

"They used their powers to bewitch a man to death," said Kingsley Sinemane, a community leader. "We had to get rid of them, as they could have killed others. We had to protect our village."

The finger of suspicion fell on the women after a local man died in a car accident. The only sign now of the horror that unfolded in this remote Papua New Guinea village is a black, charred clearing where some dozen homes once stood. Fear of the supernatural and the stigma of being branded a witch is so great that around 30 of the victims' relatives were chased out of the village. Upturned shoes and a few bundles of clothes are all that remain of their former lives. Most of them had nowhere to flee to, as word had spread they were related to so-called witches. They are now forced to live in slums in the nearest town.

MORE: INDEPENDENT

R.I P. VIOLA WILLS

THE DISCO DIVA HAS HEADED TO THAT GREAT BIG DANCE FLOOR IN THE SKY. THOUGH SHE LONGED TO SING THE SONGS SHE WROTE, HER BIGGEST SUCCESSES WERE COVERS OF IF YOU COULD READ MY MIND, STORMY WEATHER, AND GONNA GET AONG WITHOUT YOU NOW, ESPECIALLY POPULAR IN THE GAY CLUBS.



VIOLAWILLS.COM

WIKIPEDIA

EVIE HARRIS: SHINING STAR PARTS 1 AND 2

HOPE YOU REMEMBER THE HILARIOUS QUEEN WHO STARRED ALONG WITH VARLA JEAN MERMAN AND COCO PERU IN GIRLS WILL BE CIRLS. SHE'S AS DEMENTED AS EVER!

PART ONE:



PAT TWO:

CUTE NEW MOVEON.ORG VIDEO

FROM MOVEON.ORG:

We made this ad a couple weeks ago—and we've been so eager to show you! It's funny and memorable, and we smile every time we see it. :-)

But we wanted to wait until there was a critical moment on health care to break it out.

That moment is now. The right wing just launched a million-dollar attack on President Obama's health care plan, scaring people off from a critical provision that could guarantee coverage for every American. If their lies stick, we could miss the biggest chance in a generation to achieve universal health care. The first draft of legislation will be finalized in just two weeks—so we need to fight back right now.


Please watch the ad (trust us, you'll like it), pass it around to your friends and family, and, if you can, contribute $250 to help run it far and wide.




I can't afford to contribute $250 and maybe you can't either. But you can pass this around for free!

INSANE NEW JACKIE BEAT VIDEO!

OK, I'VE REPOSTED THIS BECAUSE I HAD NEVER SEEN THE AD WHICH JACKIE AND CREW WERE PARODYING. HERE T'IS!



AND HERE IS JACKIE'S TWISTED VERSION:

MY PENIS/MY PUSSY

Larry Tee has a new album with an answer song to Amanda LePore's clitty ditty MY PUSSY. It's by Perez Hilton and it's called MY PENIS. The two songs were mashed together by my friend Dickie Doo aka Dix Mix from Vancouver. Click below to hear it.



PEREZHILTON.COM

I'M NO ART CONNOISSEUR, BUT...

I KNOW AN ARRESTING IMAGE WHEN I SEE ONE! CHECK THIS OUT!



I, Daughter of Kong

Exhibition Open:
Saturday, May 2 to Sunday, May 10;
12 noon–7pm
Artists Reception:
Friday, May 8, 6–9pm; performances: 7:30pm
Myth is a crucial element in the evolution of the human psyche and indicates a distinction between humans and other primates. Lara Allen is assembling an exhibition based on a contemporary myth, the previously unknown existence of the love-child of King Kong and Fay Wray, a being born part starlet and part gorilla... I, Daughter of Kong.

The exhibition includes work from the I, Daughter of Kong collective, an ongoing group of collaborators who address the scientific and societal impact of a being whose existence inevitably calls into question our assumptions about human and animal rights, feminist theory, sociology, the history of media, the dissemination of images and the very nature of nature.

I, Daughter of Kong lends itself to an exploration of the subconscious. Eugene Marais, author of My Friends the Baboons, stated in his critique of Freud, “No man can ever attain to anywhere near a true conception of the subconscious in man who does not know the primates under natural conditions.”

I, Daughter of Kong is informed by both real and imaginary science. In 2006, Harvard geneticist David Reich purported evidence of a common ancestor, the product of sexual relations between humans and apes. A narrow yet deep gap exists between humans and other primates. Investigating this gap with both fact and invention we allow connections that our conscious selves would otherwise be wholly incapable of articulating. Join us as we collectively struggle to reconcile the social, political and artistic implications of a mythical beast born directly from our cultural heritage.

Artists included in the exhibition are: Adam J. Ansell, Anna Betbeze, Matt Borruso, R. Crumb, Georganne Deen, Per Frykdahl, Amy Hicks, Alexis Karl, George Kuchar, Matthew Lusk, Kyp Malone, Jason Mercier, Cynthia Mitchell, Baker Overstreet, Pablo the Chimp (courtesy of Darby Bannard), Duke Riley, Suzanne Rogaleski, Christine Shields, Anjali Sundaram & Jade Townsend. Soundtrack by Craig Ventresco.

Performances by Lone Wolf (Ryan Sawyer) & Cub (Suzanne Rogaleski), and Lara Allen.

MORE INFO: IMCC


ALSO OF NOTE:



Thursday, May 14, 2009
Time: 7:00pm - 10:00pm
Location: 32A Cooper Square New York, NY

A carefully curated selection of Bobby Grossman’s seminal photos from
the mid seventies through the mid eighties. Grossman had the privelage
to witness the late Factory and disco days as they melted into the new
wave punk explosion, and these photos tell the story ;
From Fred Hughes, Bianca Jagger and Andy Warhol to William
Burroughs,Deborah Harry, Jean Michel Basquiat , Glenn O’Brien’s TV
Party and everything in between. He was ‘Bobby on the spot’. Come
witness the moment at a reception/ party at MINA the hip new gallery
where fashion and art unabashedly meet.

FRIDAY NIGHT!

I WAS TOLD THIS WAS A HOT NEW PARTY BY THE PROMOTERS, BUT AFTER MY FIRST GIG LAST FRIDAY, I CAN PERSONALLY TELL YOU THAT IT IS A HOOT. THE CUTEST GUYS OF ALL KINDS FROM TWINK TO DADDY WITH A FEW TRANNIES THROWN IN FOR FUN. I DIDN'T MAKE IT UPSTAIRS TO THE MAIN FLOOR TO HEAR DJ KEO NOZARI, BUT AMALIA IS A STUNNING CLUB WHICH MUST BE SEEN TO BE BELIEVED. PACKED, REALLY CAJ, AND WITH AN OPEN BAR FROM 10-11. HOPE YOU CAN MAKE IT!

SNORT!

I'M NO TECH GEEK BUT...

THIS PRETTY OUTRAGEOUS!




AND THIS IS THE MOST PATHETIC INVITE I'VE EVER SEEN!

UNITARD IS BACK!

Joe's Pub, 425 Lafayette Street

TICKETS $20 advance, $25 at door


Tues, May 19 9:30 p.m.

Take your mind off the tanking economy with an hour of irreverence and caustic comedy!

UNITARD, the wildly twisted, brilliantly outspoken, hilariously fecund, tested, ready, now comedy group comes to Joe's Pub, Tues, May 19th at 9:30 p.m.

Mike Albo (author of the Underminer), Nora Burns (Nellie Olesons) and David Ilku (Duelling Bankheads) aka Unitard are bringing their latest loose-lipped comedy show to Joe's Pub. Come for cocktails, stay for druggy celeb impressions, fashion psychics, YouTube take-offs, evil social commentary and political dish.

Unitard has played Fez, Marque and Joe's Pub in NYC, Highways and the HBO Showcase, LA, We're Funny That Way Comedy Festival, Toronto, The Andy Warhol Museum, Pittsburgh, SF Gay and Lesbian Center, and the Boston Center for the Arts. They have also separately been seen and heard on NPR, Logo, Bravo and the silver screen.

"Go see this!, a satirical triumph with no time to
apologize for it's hipness"
- The Boston Globe

"Comic gold!"
- Boston Herald

"You'll wet yourself, a saucy romp who's stars
should be on Saturday Night Live"
- Michael Musto, The Village Voice

"The very definition of edge"
- Bay Windows

"A good rip fest, that's even nastier than high
school"
- Time Out NY

BET YOU DIDN'T KNOW I WAS A TWIN!

I FEEL A CASE OF GLAUCOMA COMING ON!

FROM THE WALL STREET JOURNAL:

The Next Botox: A Drug for Longer Eyelashes By Jacob Goldstein



In another century, Botox was a drug to treat eyelid spasms and other neuromuscular problems. Then Allergan, the company that sells the drug, seized on a side effect — the way it makes some wrinkles vanish temporarily — and turned the drug into a cosmetic superstar.

The same thing could happen with Allergan’s Lumigan, a glaucoma drug with a potentially lucrative side effect: It makes eyelashes longer.

WHOLE ARTICLE: WSJ.COM

RUPAUL SINGS CHER'S HALF-BREED

NELL CARTER SINGS THE MARY TYLER MOORE THEME

PREJEAN NOW GETS A FACE IMPLANT!

LIQUID SOAP CONTAINS ALCOHOL?

A HANDY TIP FOR THE NEXT TIME YOU ARE CUT OFF FROM THE BAR BY A FLIGHT ATTENDANT!

FROM THE DAILY TELEGRAPH:



Society lady Galina Rusanova goes on flight rampage

A RESPECTED artist has been arrested after mixing a cocktail of wine and prescription drugs before allegedly drinking liquid soap and attacking flight stewards on a long-haul flight.

British-based Russian Galina Rusanova – who mixes with the rich and famous at London society and charity events - is accused of punching, kicking and - at one point - "snapping like a dog" while trying to bite a crew member's leg, reports the Daily Mail.

Rusanova, 54, appeared at court in Bangor, Maine, on Friday, charged with assault and interference with a flight crew after the turbulent trans-Atlantic flight.

According to the FBI, Rusanova went to Los Angeles to visit a man she met on the internet and was returning to London on Wednesday when her flight was diverted to Bangor.

According to court documents, after her arrest she spent the night at Eastern Maine Medical Center for observation and is said to have told FBI agents: "It's typical of me. I sometimes do crazy things."

The trouble is thought to have started three hours into the United Airlines flight.

Court reports claim she seemed very intoxicated, found it hard to get into her seat and kicked the seat in front.

Rusanova allegedly fell asleep but then began bothering other passengers, moving around the cabin and speaking incoherently when she awoke.

She is then accused of drinking a bottle of liquid hand soap from a lavatory on the plane as a flight attendant looked on, according to the documents.

Liquid soap is sometimes consumed for its alcohol content.

As other staff and a passenger tried to calm her down, Rusanova allegedly assaulted them.

She was then handcuffed to a crew member's seat at the back of the passenger compartment, the documents said.

SIMON SAYS

SIMON DOONAN WAXWS POETIC ON AN ANGLE OF THE SUSAN BOYLE LOOK THAT ONLY AN UBER-FASHIONISTA LIKE HIMSELF HAS RECOGNIZED.

The Highbrow Unibrow: Susan Boyle's Secret Avant-Garde Chic

'Simon Says' by Simon Doonan The New York Observer



How come nobody has clocked it? Why the telling silence? Given the relentless dissection of the Susan Boyle phenomenon, you would think some hack or other might have gone beyond ragging on her eyebrows and identified the glaringly obvious truth. But no, yet again, it's left to yours truly to sort things out for everyone and point his little pocket flashlight at the elephant in the room. So here goes:

Susan Boyle is the chicest woman in the universe.

That debut ensemble, a kind of cleaning-lady-on-a-night-out look, was the very essence of insider fashion. It positively screams Miuccia Prada. The poignant white party shoes with the dark hose, the chocolate-box ribbon slung round the homemade lace dress-bonjour!-it could all so easily have been yanked straight from the Marni/Dries Van Noten/Margiela runway.

And then there was the whole Frida Kahlo unibrow: I have lost track of the number of Comme des Garçons fashion shows where the models were rocking that ferociously avant-garde un-tweezed Boyle brow.

MORE: OBSERVER.COM

VINTAGE HOUSE CLASSICS

NOT THE GREATEST VIDEOS, BUT THE TUNES WERE OVAH!

LONNIE GORDON: GONNA CATCH YOU



CRYSTAL WATERS: MAKIN' HAPPY



SABRINA JOHNSTON: PEACE IN THE VALLEY

CHRIS MATHEWS STICKS IT TO A GOP DUNCE

It sends chills down my spine to think that someone who is in charge of voting on decisions which affect my life doesn't believe in evolution and pooh-poohs science. At least with stem cell research and evolution, conservatives can base their arguments loosely on the bible. But how can they refute global warming? Where does the bible mention that? And surely, anyone who worships god wouldn't want to desecrate the earth he created for us just to give big corporations a financial break on reducing their poisonous gases!

VIA HUFFPO:

LA PEQUENA BRITNEY SPEARS

MAXWELL INTERVIEWED

TO ME, THIS NEO-SOUL SENSATION IS ONE OF THE MOST GORGEOUS MEN EVER. I THOUGHT HE CAME OUT OF THE CLOSET, BUT I GUESS NOT AT THE POINT OF THIS INTERVIEW. I KNOW WHAT I'D DO IF I SAW HIM IDLING IN A PUBLIC TOILET--GIVE HIM MY WALLET AND RUN! KIDDING! HERE IS ONE UNCONFIRMED RUMOR I FOUND ON A MESSAGE BOARD:

"Maxwell has been in hiatus for the last 5 years, and his new cd keeps getting pushed back because his record label doesn't agree with the content of the lyrics in his new album due to the fact that the lyrics are racey and reflect his lifestyle of being homosexual."



HERE HE IS IN 2008 LOOKING JUST AS FINE WITH SHORT HAIR AND SINGING, ASCENSION, MY FAVORITE SONG OF HIS. CAN WE PLEASE HAVE A NEO-SOUL REVIVAL AND DIG UP LAURYN HILL, THE BRAND NEW HEAVIES, JAMIROQUAI AND INCOGNITO? I'M SO READY!



HE DOES HAVE A NEW VIDEO, PRETTY WINGS, ON HIS OFFICIAL WEBSITE: MUSZE. The site is extremely minimal with only the video and a link to his myspace, twitter and itunes page. I didn't know that itunes is now charging $1.29 for the songs released as singles! They've got a nerve in a recession!

R.I.P. DOM DELUISE

THE NEAR-SIGHTED DOCTOR WITH DEAN MARTIN:



IN DRAG WITH GILDA RADNER IN A SCENE FROM HAUNTED HONEYMOON:

A PRE-NOSE JOB EVA GABOR!

DIG THAT HUNGARIAN HONKER!



BUT SHE REALLY GOT HER LOOK TOGETHER BY THE ERA OF THIS ULTRA-GLAM PHOTO.

F*CK YOU VIDEO

LILY ALLEN DIDN'T MAKE A VIDEO TO HER FAB ANTI-BUSH SONG SO A GAGGLE OF HER FANS MADE ONE FOR HER!


VIA TOWLEROAD.COM:

HERE! HERE!

I RECEIVED THIS EMAIL TODAY FROM MY FRIEND JOHN DEAN:

DID YOU HEAR THAT?

It was the sound of Eartha Kitt rolling over in her grave.Beyonce needs to step the fuck off, she could NEVER fill Eartha's shoes!

Apparently Sasha Fool is planning to portray Eartha Kitt in a film. Hiss! Is it just me or does Beyonce need to take a little break, as stars occasionally do when they are overexposed. Am I the only one who is suffering from Beyonce overkill? Besides, John is right. I don't think Beyonce has it in her to summon one ounce of Eartha's magic.

MORE: CELEBUZZ

AT LEAST ANITA BRYANT COULD SING

MICHAEL ROWE HAS REALLY NAILED IT IN THIS WELL-WRITTEN ARTICLE HIGHLIGHTING THE LUNACY OF THE CARRIE PREJEAN NONTROVERSY. I LOVE THE WAY THE SANCTIMONIOUS SLUT IS CLAIMING THAT HER HALF-NUDE TEENAGE PHOTO SHOOT IS ALL IN A DAY'S WORK FOR A MODEL. OH YEAH? PLEASE NAME THE BRAND OF THE PANTIES THAT THIS PIC WAS A CAMPAIGN FOR.

I FEEL SORRY FOR THE WINNER! THIS WHORE HAS SCOOPED ALL THE PRESS-AND SHE ISN'T EVEN THAT PRETTY! SHE LOOKS LIKE A LESS ATTRACTIVE SISTER OF JESSICA SIMPSON'S. AND JESS ALREADY HAS ONE OF THOSE.

FROM HUFFPO: Regarding Miss California, At Least Anita Bryant Could Sing by Michael Rowe.

When contemplating the white trash Lollapalooza that is the strange tale of Carrie Prejean, this year's Miss California and first runner-up to the Miss U.S.A. 2009 crown, vs. the Coming Storm of Gay Marriage, it's best to acknowledge the bikini-waxed elephant in the room, which is that the National Organization for Marriage (NOM) considers a bleached blonde 21-year-old girl with artificially augmented breasts who's apparently never had a serious long-term relationship in her life to be the ideal spokesmodel for their cause.

There, we've said it. Never mind the easy metaphors, all of which are too obvious. Instead, let's bite right into the Velveeta-stuffed center.

Cue the circus music and send in the clowns.

Only in America would the notion of a nearly-naked fundamentalist Christian beauty queen tossing her processed hair as she parades brand new, pageant-bought plastic breasts across a Las Vegas stage in front of millions of television viewers with all the modesty of a blue ribbon heifer at a county livestock fair (the same fundamentalist Christian beauty queen who would later tell a television reporter that she heard God whispering in her ear as she answered a celebrity-worshipping Internet gossip columnist's question about gay marriage) be treated as anything other than an occasion for high comedy and mirth.

HUFFPO

YOU'RE PUDDING ME ON!

BETHLEHEM, Pa., May 5 (UPI) -- Police in Pennsylvania said a man suspected of burglarizing and vandalizing apartments was covered in pudding and spray paint at the time of his arrest.
Investigators said Hipolito Junior Vasquez, 24, allegedly used pudding, chocolate sauce and silver spray paint to vandalize off-campus apartments occupied by Lehigh University students Friday with lewd messages and images, the Easton (Pa.) Express-Times reported Tuesday.

Vasquez allegedly entered three apartments and took a backpack, frozen chicken breasts, bottles of liquor and a case of beer. He was arrested about a block from the scene of the last robbery after police recognized him from a victim's description and noticed he was covered in pudding and paint.

MORE: UPI

WHEN DID MURRAY START DOING COMEDY?

WHAT HAPPENED TO JULIET ROBERTS?

MY FAVORITE TRACK BY THE GRENADIAN DIVA WAS CAUGHT IN THE MIDDLE (MY HEART BEATS LIKE A DRUM) AND I ALSO LIKED FREE LOVE, BUT I GUESS HER RECORD COMPANY ONLY MADE A VIDEO OF I WANT YOU, BELOW. (She also sung the hook on David Morales's hit NEEDIN U II and released a cover of DOnna SUmmer's BAD GIRLS a few years ago.)



HERE'S AN AUDIO/VIDEO OF CAUGHT IN THE MIDDLE:

MONICA MUGLER HAS SURFACED!

MONICA IN FRONT OF SALLY'S HIDEAWAY CIRCA 1994



MONICA TODAY IN PUERTO RICO



THE STUNNING SIREN WHO MADE A LASTING IMPACT ON THE NYC CLUB SCENE MID-90's WITH HER LATINA VERSION OF JESSICA RABBIT SULTRY LOOKS, NOW LIVES IN PUERTO RICO, HAS A MYSPACE PAGE AND IS FEATURED IN A MUSIC VIDEO WHICH CAN BE VIEWED HERE. (SHE PLAYS THE STREETWALKER, NATCH.)

AND SPEAKING OF HE RULING QUEENS OF YESTERYEAR, I STUMBLED ACROSS THIS TALE OF ANJI XTRAVAGANZA:



The Slap of Love

Michael Cunningham

This is the story of Angel Segarra, a Puerto Rican kid from the South Bronx who became Angie Xtravaganza, doyenne of the drag world made briefly famous by Jennie Livingston’s acclaimed 1990 documentary, Paris Is Burning.

Angel, neé Angie, died in New York City on April 6, 1993, at the age of 27.

She died of complications from AIDS, but she also had chronic liver trouble, probably brought on by the hormones she’d been taking since the age of 15 to soften her skin and give her breasts and hips. She’d lived for over ten years as her own creation, a ferocious maternal force who turned tricks in hotel rooms over a bar called the Cock Ring and who made chicken soup for the gaggle of friends she called her kids after they came home from a long night on the town.

The hard facts about Angel neé Angie are scarce. She believed in her ability to eradicate the past, to be renowned simply and purely for what she had made of herself. She had reason to believe it was possible. As she lay dying, RuPaul was becoming the first drag queen to have a record in Billboard’s Top Ten. Lypsinka had appeared in a Gap ad and was about to open at the Cherry Lane Theater, a legitimate off-off-Broadway house that seats six hundred.

Angie refused to talk about her childhood, to anyone. She’d never been a scrawny boy named Angel Segarra, one of 13 children, most of whom had different fathers. She wasn’t the son of an abusive Puerto Rican woman in the South Bronx. She hadn’t had a rotten, violent childhood haunted by Catholicism. She was and had always been triumphant, dazzling, the fiercest thing in high heels.

I started my search for the true story of Angie with Dorian Corey, 56, a legend in drag circles and one of the stars of Paris Is Burning. I arranged to see her for the first time at Sally’s II, the drag bar where she emceed a show a every Thursday night.

LOTS MORE AND WELL-WRITTEN: OPENCITY.ORG

OFFWARD, CHRISTIAN SOLDIERS!

This IS a fucking crusade!

FROM HUFFPO:

Soldiers In Afghanistan Given Bibles, Told To "Hunt People For Jesus" by Ryan Grim

A U.S. church raised money to send Bibles, printed in the Pashtu and Dari languages, to American soldiers stationed in Afghanistan, a report on Al Jazeera documented Sunday night.

It is against military rules to proselytize -- a regulation one of the soldiers filmed by the network readily acknowledged. "You cannot proselytize, but you can give gifts," says the soldier. It is a crime in Afghanistan to attempt to convert anyone from Islam to any other religion. "I also want to praise God because my church collected some money to get Bibles for Afghanistan. They came and sent the money out." The footage is said to be roughly a year old.

The Al Jazeera report also shows a military preacher urging army parishioners to "hunt people for Jesus."

"The Special Forces guys, they hunt men. Basically, we do the same things as Christians. We hunt people for Jesus. We do, we hunt them down. Get the hound of heaven after them, so we get them into the Kingdom. That's what we do, that's our business," he says.



MORE: HUFFPO

AIDS SCENE FROM DESIGNING WOMEN

I DIDN'T GET THE PE JOKE AT THE END BUT I LOOOOOOOOVE ALICE GHOSTLEY AKA AUNT ESMERELDA FROM BEWITCHED!

LIKE TO WHACK OFF TO DISNEY PORN?

ME EITHER! BUT IF YOU DO, THEN HERE'S A SITE FOR YOU: DEVIANTART.COM

BUT I GUESS THINGS ARE DIFFERENT IN INDIA, WHERE THE COUNTRY'S FIRST PORN STAR IS A CARtOON.

(via Huffpo)

Meet India's first porn star
A racy cartoon attracts millions and, of course, controversy in conservative circles.



NEW DELHI — Thanks to an anonymous group of computer geeks, India's first international Internet porn star is fast becoming this conservative country's answer to Wonder Woman — and Monica Lewinsky.

But here's the trick: The steamy web seductress is a cartoon.

WHOLE ARTICLE: GLOBALPOST

PORTRAIT OF A LADY: STARRING BARBRA HERR

A Movie About the life Story Of A Trangender Person LIving In NYC. A Project 4 Years In The Making.

PREMIERS ON JUNE 20TH..8PM BY INVITE ONLY THERE WILL BE EARLIER SHOWINGS THAT DAY IN THE AFTERNOON..ALSO FOUR MORE ON JUNE 21ST.

A Movie About the life Story Of A Trangender Person LIving In NYC. A Project 4 Years In The Making.

PREMIERS ON JUNE 20TH..8PM BY INVITE ONLY THERE WILL BE EARLIER SHOWINGS THAT DAY IN THE AFTERNOON..ALSO FOUR MORE ON JUNE 21ST.

PRE-PARTY ON JUNE 19TH @ THE MONSTER 7PM.

LOS KABAYITOS THEATER
@ CSV Cultural and Educational Center
107 Suffolk Street, 2nd Floor,
(between Rivington and Delancey), NYC
F to Delancey / J M Z to Essex / M14A bus

(BUNNY NOTE: THIS GIRL IS A HOOT AND I CAN'T WAIT TO WORK WITH HERR AT HERR SABOR LATINO NIGHT AT THE MONSTER ON MONDAY 5/11. WE WORKED TOGETHER AT ESCUELITA A FEW WEEKS AGO AND REALLY CLICKED--SHE IS HYSTERICAL AND A GREAT OLD-SCHOOL LATINA LIPSYNCH ARTISTE FROM THE DAYS OF SALLY'S HIDEAWAY! AND STILL GOING STRONG!)



(BUNNY NOTE: THIS GIRL IS A HOOT AND I CAN'T WAIT TO WORK WITH HERR AT HERR SABOR LATINO NIGHT AT THE MONSTER ON MONDAY 5/11. WE WORKED TOGETHER AT ESCUELITA A FEW WEEKS AGO AND REALLY CLICKED--SHE IS HYSTERICAL AND A GREAT LIPSYNCH ARTISTE.)

MIKE DIAMOND: MY SO-CALLED GAY LIFE

THIS EPISODE IS ENTITLED SPIN THE BOTTLE! SUCH A ROTTEN WHORE!

AMANDA LEPORE: COTTON CANDY

I WAS TOO HAGGED AFTER DJ'ING AT SPLASH TO POP BY AMANDA'S VIDEO PREMIERE AND PERFUME LAUNCH, BUT HERE YA GO! IT'S A CUTE SONG, BUT I'M NOT SURE WHY AMANDA PRONOUNCES "COTTON" LIKE "CODDON". MAYBE THE COD MAKES IT A LITTLE FISHIER. I LOVE ALL OF THE FILM STAR HAIRDOS, BUT MY FAV IS HER OLD MICHAEL ALIF DAYS SWEPT BACK ON THE SIDE WITH HEAVEY ROLLED BANGS AND A PONYTAIL.

BRUNO'S MEINSPACE.COM

WATCH TRAILER: MEINSPACE.COM

CELEBRITY TWINS!

"SEXTING"

THROUGH A LENS STARKLY CARNAL KNOWLEDGE by JOANN WYPIJEWSKI

This article appeared in the May 18, 2009 edition of The Nation.

Taking nude pictures of yourself--nothing good can come of it.
   --Police Capt. George Seranko, Greensburg, Pennsylvania

The police captain might be right, in one sense. Particularly for the unskilled or ill equipped, getting the angle right, the focus and lighting just so, might be an effort--too much for the unsteady hand, the shy poser, the butterfingers. Much better to take nude pictures with someone else, to make a game of it, a performance of seeing and being seen, an amuse-bouche before the banquet, or maybe in place of it. Safe sex, unless you're a teenager, in which case someone might want to arrest you.
Captain Seranko made his observation after three girls and three boys at Greensburg Salem High School were charged with child pornography. The girls, ages 14 and 15, are charged with taking pictures of themselves, nude or seminude; the boys, 15, 16 and 17, with receiving them.

MORE: THENATION.COM

IVE MADE IT!

WCBSTV.COM HAS A SLIDE SHOW OF OPENLY GAY CELEBRITIES AND I'M FLATTERED TO BE INCLUDED WITH ELTON JOHN, ELLEN DEGENERES AND MORE--I DIDN'T KNOW JOHNNY MATHIS WAS OUT OF THE CLOSET. BUT, HONEY, LOOK AT THIS PICTURE OF ME (OR ANY OTHER OF MY PICS) THEY USED --HOW COULD I POSSIBLY EVER BE IN THE CLOSET?



VIEW SLIDESHOW: WCBSTV

MAD TV ECSTASY COMMERCIAL

AUTO-TUNE THE NEWS 2: PIRATES

I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THIS IS BUT I FOUND IT QUITE AMUSING.



AND THIS HOT MESS! I KEPT WAITING FOR THE GAFILTA...FISH JOKE. OR ANY JOKE, FOR THAT MATTER!

MORE WTF? PICS

BERNIE MADOFF: SCAPEGOAT

The following piece written by Michael Moore appears in this week's Time magazine (and in full at Time.com) as part of their annual "Time 100" issue highlighting their choices for "The World's Most Influential People."

Elie Wiesel called him a "God." His investors called him a "genius." But, proving correct that old adage from the country and western song, you never really know what goes on behind closed doors.

Bernie Madoff, for at least 20 years, ran a Ponzi scheme on thousands of clients, among them the people you and I would consider the best and brightest. Business leaders, celebrities, charities, even some of his own relatives and his defense attorney were taken for a ride (this has to be the first time a lawyer was hosed by the client).

We're clearly in one of those historic, game changing years: up is down, red is blue and black is President. Aside from Obama himself, no person will provide a more iconic face of this end-of-capitalism-as-we-know-it year than Bernard Lawrence Madoff.

Which is too bad. Yes, he stole $65 billion from some already quite wealthy people. I know that's upsetting to them because rich guys like Bernie are not supposed to be stealing from their own kind. Crime, thievery, looting — that's what happens on the other side of town. The rules of the money game on Park Avenue and Wall Street are comprised of things like charging the public 29% credit card interest, tricking people into taking out a second mortgage they can't afford, and concocting a student loan system that has graduates in hock for the next 20 years. Now that's smart business! And it's legal. That's where Bernie went wrong — his scheming, his trickery was an outrage both because it was illegal and because he preyed on his side of the tracks.



Had Mr. Madoff just followed the example of his fellow top one-percenters, there were many ways he could have legally multiplied his wealth many times over. Here's how it's done. First, threaten your workers that you'll move their jobs offshore if they don't agree to reduce their pay and benefits. Then move those jobs offshore. Then place that income on the shores of the Cayman Islands and pay no taxes. Don't put the money back into your company. Put it into your pocket and the pockets of your shareholders. There! Done! Legal!

But Bernie wanted to play X-games Capitalism, run by the mantra that's at the core of all capitalistic endeavors: Enough Is Never Enough. You have the right to make as much as you can, and if people are too stupid to read the fine print of their health insurance policy or their GM "100,000-mile warranty," well, tough luck, losers. Buyers beware!

It would be too easy — and the wrong lesson learned — to put Bernie on TIME's list all by himself. If Ponzi schemes are such a bad thing, then why have we allowed all of our top banks to deal in credit default swaps and other make-believe rackets? Why did we allow those same banks to create the scam of a sub-prime mortgage? And instead of putting the people responsible in the cell block in Lower Manhattan, where Bernie now resides, why did we give them huge sums of our hard-earned tax dollars to bail them out of their self-inflicted troubles? Bernard Madoff is nothing more than the scab on the wound. He's also a most-needed and convenient distraction. Where's the photo on this list of the ex-chairmen of AIG, Merrill Lynch and Citigroup? Where's the mug shot of Phil Gramm, the senator who wrote the bill to strip the system of its regulations, or of the President who signed that bill? And how 'bout those who ran the fake numbers at the ratings agencies, the lobbyists who succeeded in making sleazy accounting a lawful practice, or the stock market itself — an institution that's treated like the Holy Sepulchre instead of the casino that it is (and, like all other casinos, the house eventually wins).

And what of Madoff's clients themselves? What did they think was going on to guarantee them incredible returns on their investments every single year — when no one else on planet Earth was getting anything like that? Some have admitted they did have an inkling "something was up," but no one really wanted to ask what it was that was making their money grow on trees. They were afraid they might find out it had nothing to do with gardening. Many of Madoff's victims have told investigators that, over the years, they have made much more than the original investment they gave Bernie. If I buy a stolen car from the guy down the street, the police will take that car from me regardless of whether I knew it was stolen. If I knew it was stolen, then I go to jail for receiving stolen property. Will these "victims" give back their gains that were fraudulently obtained? Will the head of Goldman Sachs reveal what he was doing at the meetings with the Fed chairman and the Treasury secretary before the bailout? Will Bank of America please tell us what they've spent $45 billion of our TARP money on?

That's probably going too far. Better that we just put Bernie on this list.

Moore's new documentary on the wonders of capitalism will be in movie theaters this fall.

(BUNNY NOTE: AND I CAN'T WAIT!)

I HEARD....

From a friend who has a friend who was hired as DIana Ross's make-up artist several years ago at an awards show. Of course, I can't verify the story, but just love this tea so much I can't resist telling it.

Quincy Jones popped into Diana's dressing room to say hi. Diana had ordered some soup and just to be cunty, called to have it sent back because she claimed it was cold. Quincy, who I imagine knows Diana well enough to know how cunty she can be, took a sip and said "Nigga, please! That soup ain't cold." The make-up artist laughed and was fired n the spot.

BRAZILIAN GANG BANG

I KNOW THAT MOST OF MY HIGHBROW READERS WOULD PRBABLY NOT ENJOY WATCHING GAY BRAZILIAN GROUP SEX FEATURING STUDLY YOUNG GODS POUNDING AN ADORABLE BOTTOM, BUT JUST IN CASE THERE ARE A FEW PERV'S OUT THERE, HERE YA GO: MUNDOMAIS.COM

AND VIA POPBITCH.COM, THIS BLOG FEATURES BRAZILIAN SPORTS CELEBS TAKING IT ALL OFF:



GLOSSX.BLOGSPOT.COM

AMATEUR FREE GAY PORN: AMATEURGAYMOVIES.BLOGSPOT.COM

CHELSEA PERETTI: ALL MY EXES

FROM YOUTUBE:

Chelsea Peretti catches up with her ex, Jean Michel (Pras of The Fugees), and makes a startling realization.

FUCK THE IPHONE--GET ME ONE OF THESE!

MISS UNDERSTOOD'S BDAY

I got together with a friends of Miss Understood's to hog some greasy, delicious Chinese food at a restaurant on St. Marks called Grand Sichuan, which I'd recommend. Tasty and dirt cheap AND they have brown rice! I never realize how lucky I am to get brown rice at Chinese, Indian and Thai eateries until I leave NYC. Sweetie, Sequinette, Ande Whylande, Winona and a dozen more gorged on oodles of plates of spicy slop and appetizers and covered Miss U's bill for only $25 apiece.

And from this pic she sent me, the birthday gal dolled up and kept on celebrating. With her yellow eye make-up, it's hard to tell whether she's giving or receiving hepatitis. But she claims the drinks were very strong.

TONIGHT!

A REAL EYE-OPENER

THIS IS LONG, BUT WELL WORTH A GANDER. IT REAFFIRMS WHAT I'VE SAID ALL ALONG: GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE MIDDLE EAST. THEY DESPISE US AND DON'T WANT OUR HELP OR DEMOCRACY. OF COURSE WE WENT INTO IRAQ FOR OIL--BUT THERE IS A COMMERCIAL FOR BP BETWEEN NEWS SEGMENTS OF EVEN MSNBC. SO HOW IS RACHEL MADDOW GOING TO STRESS THE POINT, AS SHE DID WHEN SHE WAS BROADCAST ON AIR AMERICA, THAT WE INVADED IRAQ FOR OIL? SHE DID MENTION RECENTLY THAT THE IRAQI OIL WAS NOW UP FOR GRABS, BUT HOW IS SHE GONNA FLY IN THE FACE OF HER BOSS'S MAJOR ADVERTISING $ AND TELL THE WHOLE TRUTH? SHE ISN'T.

THE LESS PRESENCE WE HAVE IN THE MIDDLE EAST, THE BETTER!

THE INTRO FROM TANGLE:COM:

Anyone (like Barack Obama) entertaining ideas of western democracies establishing friendly relations with the radicals of the Islamic world should watch this video.While watching the inflammatory rhetoric of the speaker, remember that this is not a Jihadists from Iran but a professor from Kuwait - a country with every reason to be grateful to the USA for liberating it from the tyranny of Saddam Husseins invasion.



Why did I have to watch the pneumonic plague thriller THE CASSANDRA CROSSING as well as read that swine flu has spread to 30 states now?

MICHAEL ZAGER BAND: LET'S ALL CHANT

WAS THIS THE SONG WHICH GAVE BIRTH TO THE POPULAR "OOWAH OOWAH" DISCO CRY? I KNOW IT WAS USED IN OTHER SONGS LIKE FOXY'S GET OFF, BOTH CAME OUT IN 1978. I AM ASSUMING THAT MICHAEL ZAGER WAS A STUDIO MUSICIAN WHO DIDN'T CARE TO APPEAR IN HIS OWN VIDEOS, BUT I AM SO GLAD THAT THIS SINGLE VERSION INCLUDES THE BAROQUE OBOE AND CLAVINET SOLOS--A RARE, SICK MOMENT IN DISCO PRODUCTION. AND I LOVE THAT ONE MOMENT WHEN THE TRUMPET PLAYER APPEARS INSIDE OF A TRUMPET. I ALMOST PREFER THESE PRE-MTV LOW BUDGET VIDEOS TO THE ZILLION DOLLAR VIDS OF TODAY.



WIKIPEDIA NOTES THAT MICHAEL ZAGER HAS PRODUCED FOR THE FOLLOWING ARTISTS: Whitney Houston, Cissy Houston, Gladys Knight, Peabo Bryson, Luther Vandross, Deniece Williams, Jennifer Holliday, Joe Williams, Arturo Sandoval, Herb Alpert, Olatunji, and The Spinners.

CLAG-GONE!

I had to consult the urbandictionary.com to figure out what a "clag" was. I imagine that it's a UK term since no american urban dictionary would use arse for ass. Anyhoo, Here is their definition:

1. clag

when arse hair gets matted together with shit when you don't wipe your bottom properly.
i had to soak the clag in the bath before i could pull it off
(it was still painful though)

Now that you've been enlightened, you can enjoy this piece of nonsense:

ANN MILLER: TRAPPED IN THE WEB OF LOVE

THIS NUMBER HAS IT ALL: BIG BAND ARRANGEMENT, FRENZIED TAP-DANCING, A BREAK-AWAY COSTUME, A GO-GO BREAK, INCREDIBLE SET AND OF COURSE, THE INSANELY TALENTED ANN MILLER. I DIDN'T REALIZE THAT SHE SANG AS WELL AS SHE HOOFED!



BECAUSE A COMMENT POINTED IT OUT TO ME--THANKS!--I AM ALSO ADDING THE JOI LANSING VERSION. I'VE ACTUALLY POSTED IT BEFORE, BUT I SENILE!

FIGHT SWINE FLU IN STYLE!

I GUESS I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE READING JAMIE LEE CURTIS'S BLOG!

HEE HEE!

When his wife wants him to go shopping with her, he wears his favorite T-shirt.






Then she changes her mind and says







" Stay home if you are going to be like THAT "

CUCHINI: THE CAMEL TOE COVERER FOR GALS!

"OUR LIPS ARE SEALED"





GET YOURS HERE: CUCHINI.COM

HOW SHOCKING!

FROM THE SAME MISGUIDED "DO-GOODERS" WHO BROUGHT YOU WITCH HUNTS, THE CRUSADES, THE SPANISH INQUISITION AND THE RECENTLY ANNOUNCED CHRISTIAN LICENSE PLATES SOON TO BE SOLD IN FLORIDA, HERE'S SOME DATA FROM A NEW PEW POLL WHICH REALLY STINKS. VIA HUFFPO:

WASHINGTON (CNN) -- The more often Americans go to church, the more likely they are to support the torture of suspected terrorists, according to a new survey.



More than half of people who attend services at least once a week -- 54 percent -- said the use of torture against suspected terrorists is "often" or "sometimes" justified. Only 42 percent of people who "seldom or never" go to services agreed, according to the analysis released Wednesday by the Pew Forum on Religion & Public Life.

MORE: CNN.COM